Comments about my baby

[user1496059477]

I have a gorgeous 11month old baby girl whose got a lovely, sweet nature and very placid. However she's quite a big girl (though not overweight and perfectly in proportion, genetically from dad's side). Also she has still to grow much hair and due to having some excess fluid around her brain her forehead and head circumference is a bit larger than average which could delay her crawling/ walking though she will definitely get there and is already showing strong signs of wanting to move (it's nothing serious, had her scanned). The one thing I'm getting quite sensitive about though is i very frequently get comments from other mums/ grandmas at playgroups etc. saying how large she is, asking her weight, calling her chunky or a bruiser and also isn't she crawling yet and is she alright developmentally? Often these remarks are from complete strangers who I'm sure wouldn't like me commenting on their own children. It's started putting me off going to groups a bit though I don't want her to miss out. Once she starts moving properly am sure she'll start to lose some of her chubbiness but it does upset me that people seem to be so insensitive and sometimes even quite rude. I'd never dream of making any personal comments about another woman's baby. If anyone has any ideas or words of support would be most grateful.

Chubby babies rock my world. And yours sounds particularly squidgy and gorgeous!

My 11mo ds only just started crawling and my dd didn't ever crawl, just walked at 15 months but is a genius. I think they must just both be lazy like their mother . They also have exceptionally large heads like their faither and no hair. Well dd3 now has hair but everone thought she was a boy until she was well over 2 even when she was wearing pink.
It is really rude for people to comment, just ignore them or maybe just make a sarcy comment back or pick on something about their appearance to make them realise theur rudeness.

My son was a big boy - got comments! Told people to fuck off! He never crawled just stood up and walked about 11 months and lost a lot of baby weight, now a skinny but very tall 3 yo.

Wow, thank you everyone! So much more support than I expected out there and seems like you've all the done the circuit and know about how common personal remarks are. I actually wouldn't mind chubby remarks or even if they said afterwards but she's lovely, it's just the way the comments are said is it's like they're flabbergasted at how big she is and as though she's abnormal, the latest today I had was from a mum saying 'my daughter was chunky but not THAT chunky!!'. Also perhaps because she's a girl, and I've a feeling she'll always be big built, am hoping she doesn't get body image problems in the future or if comments continue once she can understand more. Seems to be more socially acceptable for a boy to be chunky/ big than a girl. Her head is 99th centile but as mentioned that is largely due to a medical reason and she really is in proportion. I agree with the OP who said that just because size comments are regular chat amongst women it doesn't make it right and they should be made sensitively if at all. Unfortunately I'm not a confrontational person and wish i could answer back but tend just to laugh it off while feeling really hurt inside. Sympathise with all of you who've also had rude remarks and wish there could be greater awareness amongst women to think twice before saying something that could potentially offend.

Ps. my friend's 1.5yr old is the opposite and on the small side and like some of you have experienced, also gets comments about her not feeding him enough and absolutely hates it so i know i'm not the only one being over sensitive about size. Conversely she says if she had a girl she wouldn't mind as much as being small/ delicate is seen as more attractive in girls.

My pair are chunkers too OP. EVERYONE at bloody Baby Sensory has commented on the size of DS. DD is a full head and shoulders taller tham everyone else at pre-school. Like you, I blame my husband (6’4” and no ones idea of slight of build). I don’t mind general observations but one of my SILs always gets under my skin by being unkind (saying they are fat - they aren’t). I no longer give her any headspace. Better all round. I am sure your DD is gorgeous & your world. That is all that matters.

Op my two girls were also very chubby at your little ones age.One didn't crawl until she was 12 months old but was walking a week later and the other was crawling much earlier but didn't walk until she was 16 months old so try not to worry,be glad you've got such a gorgeous,sweet natured little munchkin and just enjoy her x

It’s been years since you wrote this comment so not sure I’ll get anywhere with this but I’m wondering what medication your daughter was on to shrink the venous malformation please? My 11mo son has just been diagnosed with the same thing so I’m trying to learn.
TIA :-)