Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Advice needed

10 replies

Relightmyfire2017 · 06/03/2019 19:45

Evening everyone

I am fairly new to MN and need some advice.
My 12 yo DS is currently on a residential trip with his SN school (he is ASD with other fairly major health issues).
He has never been away from home without either myself or DP, however he attended overnight respite care a few years ago which was an absolute horrendous experience for all concerned, especially my DS - they would promise my DS that they would call us if he became upset but we found out that on more than one occasion he became so stressed he wet the bed and cried himself to sleep.
When the trip was first announced DS was adamant he didn't want to go, but myself and DP have slowly but surely encouraged him with lots of research of where he would be going and the promise that he could go but if things became too much we would pick him up. We had a meeting a few weeks ago at school and we were told that whilst the children wouldn't be speaking directly to their parents (it was felt it would upset them too much and we all agreed that this was the best course of action) all of the parents were told that we would receive a short nightly email letting us know all was ok.
We are now 3 days into a 5 day trip and beside an initial text to say that they had arrived we haven't heard a peep.
The optimist in me is hoping that he's having such a great time he hasn't given us a second thought but I am mightily pissed off that we've not heard anything.
I'm asking if IABU to let rip at school tomorrow calmly voice my concerns but I
don't know if it is a complete overreaction on my part?
Can someone please reassure me before I go mad?

OP posts:
RedSkyLastNight · 06/03/2019 19:57

Did they definitely promise an email? Our school posts trip updates via social media.

I don't think there is any point going mad. If you did get an e-mail it would only be something very bland saying that all the DC had enjoyed today's activities. On the flip side, you definitely would have been contacted if anything had gone wrong.no news is good news!

SandAndSea · 06/03/2019 20:00

I don't think you're bu at all. They promised to contact you regularly and they haven't. I would contact the school.

SandAndSea · 06/03/2019 20:01

Just to add, I wouldn't go mad at them or anything. I would contact them and calmly ask for an update.

BlueMerchant · 06/03/2019 20:05

5 days seems like a long time.
I'd be fuming. I'd have had to let rip at the school before now. They have betrayed the trust you put in them. Sure you son will be having a great time or you would have heard but it's not on.
Have you spoken to any other parents?

Relightmyfire2017 · 06/03/2019 20:05

No, nothing on their Twitter feed except to say they had arrived.
I can't say too much as I would be too easily identified and I know I'm probably overthinking things but his other health issues made me think twice about letting him go in the first place. There are lots of activities he won't be able to take part in because of them.
When I dropped him of at school I played it cool and sent him off with a smile but inside I was churning up!
It's been the longest few days of my life 😆
Thanks for the reassurance

OP posts:
cricketballs3 · 06/03/2019 20:06

DS2 has been on a number of overnight trips with his SS (France twice, UK a couple of times) and we have always been told only minimum contact unless absolutely necessary.

As parents (DS2 has ASD and MLD) we were also on the edge of our seats constantly on his first trip given his needs but he did brilliantly, especially as he was with staff who knew him very well

I would go with the saying "no news is good news"

Relightmyfire2017 · 06/03/2019 20:09

Sandandsea I emailed school this afternoon but not heard anything.
I was tempted to call the camp directly but I really don't want to cause a fuss.
I don't really know any of the other parents so can't find out that way either.

OP posts:
Nnnnnineteen · 06/03/2019 20:16

I am also a parent of a child with SEN and while I completely get your concerns I would also say that no news is good news! I want blow by blow updates, but having been a helicopter parent for a long time, the realisation that I cannot know every minute of her movements was something I have had to come to terms with. I'm sure dc is having fun, although be prepared for a bit of an overwrought child upon return.

Relightmyfire2017 · 07/03/2019 10:07

Hi everyone

I ended up having a few glasses of wine last night to try and take my mind off things and make the most of our free time WineWine

I've just had a lovely email from school to say my DS is having a whale of a time so panic over!

Thanks for your reassurance and helpful comments - I really appreciate it x

OP posts:
SandAndSea · 07/03/2019 21:20

Lovely news! You can relax now. Smile

New posts on this thread. Refresh page
Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.

This thread is closed and is no longer accepting replies. Click here to start a new thread.