To think this is a ridiculous reason not to go?

[Cherry112]

My sister is 30 years old and hasn’t been for a cervical screening test ever because she’s embarrassed that she’s overweight.

She weighs around 15 stone but is quite big in general and carries the weight well so doesn’t look massively obese or anything.

Our sister died from cancer 4 years ago (not cervical) but I thought this would be a strong incentive for her to go. Her reasoning for not going is that she doesn’t need to because her and her boyfriend have only ever slept with each other so she’s not likely to get it.

I know it’s her choice but it just makes me so angry.

Yep, I’d be angry too. Especially after your sister.

You’ll be told on here it’s none of your business but I get it.

I wonder if the death of your sister is in fact part of what is stopping her going rather than an incentive. That the whole idea of having to think about it and the grief associated with the subject is leading her to find excuses. I know after my mum's death from cancer my reactions didn't always seem logical and tests like this were really very anxiety inducing for me.

I'm not saying she shouldn't go but being angry is not going to help her if she is struggling. Perhaps you could offer to go with her as support and then have a coffee and cake after.

To be honest most of the reasons women come up with not to have a smear are ridiculous...the nurses couldn't give a damn if you're fat/skinny, shaved/hairy or what it looks like but a lot of women let their insecurities override what they know is common sense and use excuses not to go.

I understand why you find this upsetting though. Maybe point her at some resources that confirm that having just one sexual partner is enough of a reason to participate in cervical screening, especially given what's happened with your other sister.

You can feel whatever you like, but as pointed out it's her choice. Signposting her to 'support' rather than offering yourself or the ol' shaming technique that the nurse doesn't care isn't going to help her.

Exactly, Bigly.

Bit off topic but would she consider getting the hob vaccine privately? It may still offer her some protection?

You can be as angry as you like, but it's her choice, her body.

For the record, I recently had my first smear in 15 years. My family / friends going on at me, getting mad that I hadn't gone did not make one iota of difference.

My reasons for not going were very personal, traumatic and no-one else's business. Maybe, just maybe your sister is just saying a reason to placate you when there are other reasons she may feel are insurmountable at the moment.

You don't know that's her real reason, though.

Have a heart to heart? Offer to go with her, take her for a meal after? Or a walk?

If it helps, I am much, much heavier than your sister, and I just recently had my routine smear test. The nurse didn't bat an eyelid, nor did I expect her to. ☺