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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To go to the gym at 20st

125 replies

TenTonneTessy · 06/03/2019 18:26

I’m going through a bad time in life and have never been through the doors of a gym.
I could desperately do with the weight loss but I would also love a place to go for some solace and there’s a pool and steam room.

Am I insane to consider going at my size?

I won’t take offense, I’d really like to know before signing up as I’m not in a position to lose money if I’ll be laughed at or jeered.

OP posts:
HappyHattie · 06/03/2019 19:28

OP, I’m in my mid twenties and a trim size 10! I go to the gym with the girls to work out and take pics...etc. The type who are often cast as the reason someone like you would feel uncomfortable going!

Every time we see someone large we’re all very much like ‘bloody good on them’ - it’s so easy to get into a bad state but so hard to do something about it!

I wouldn’t worry AT ALL about what anyone thinks as it’s probably far more positive than you imagine.

However, please do talk to an instructor before just ‘hitting the gym’ as your fitness and weight will impact what kind of work out is best/safest for you! Plus some of the machines require a masters in engineering to operate 😒😂

Maybe book a couple of personal training session to begin with and then copy the routine on your own!

Good luck

LancsPear · 06/03/2019 19:31

I'm currently 10.5 st (but only 5 ft 3) and have been putting off going to the gym because I look and feel horrendous in leggings. I wish I was brave enough to go and not give a damn. I had an eating disorder as a young teenager and still suffer from body image issues/self-consciousness. But I really understand what it feels like to fear people judging you based on your body. Hope you go, op.

When I used to go to the gym I literally just focused on what I was doing.

heartshapedknob · 06/03/2019 19:33

Not at all! Go, it’s a good habit to have and you’ll feel bettter for it.
I started going to HIIT classes at about 17st and all anyone was thinking about was how to keep going, whatever size they were.

SweetButaPsycho · 06/03/2019 19:34

Good for you! Definitely go to the gym and don't worry to much about anyone else. I'm not sure if your area does leisure passes but I have one that gets me in to swimming, gym and health club at the local leisure centre. Its great as I often go for a swim if I'm not feeling up to the gym

esk1mo · 06/03/2019 19:35

I have been a gym user for over six years and I have never looked twice at anyone who is overweight. I know as well through meeting a lot of people at the gym that the general consensus is “good on them”

I’ve been to commercial gyms, powerlifting gyms, council gyms and hotel gyms. All the same.

A guy did make fun of me once for using an MP3 player though when ipods first got popular Hmm so not devoid of arseholes.

Princessmushroom · 06/03/2019 19:35

No one looks at me, as a fatty, at the gym. Honestly people of all shapes and sizes are there. They can judge me at McDonald’s which is next to the gym but not in the gym 😂

thecutecouple · 06/03/2019 19:36

Don't worry about what other people think. Most gyms do an assessment to see what you want to achieve through your workout and create a personal programme. It is also beneficial to show you how to use the equipment correctly to avoid injury and get the most from your sessions. If you're worried, try calling beforehand to arrange to meet a member of staffwhen you go in.

Overtheborder · 06/03/2019 19:36

There are women of all shapes and sizes at my gym.
Nobody bats and eyelid and we all encourage each other.
Some of those who might weigh heavier are every bit as fit as the lighter people, and they can lift and squat more than I ever could!
I was almost 11st when I started weighing myself in October (I had been going to gym long before that but not for weight loss) and to say I weighed 9st 4lb.

I love the feel good factor of the gym.

If you're on Instagram follow some of the motivational people. I find formerfatgirlonfire and laylasadventuresinfatloss good!

Sarah Sephora is great too, she's American (as is formerfatgirl) but their journeys are incredible!!

You got dis!!

ShreksAuntie · 06/03/2019 19:36

Do it! I joined a local facility last January and have been made welcome and supported by every single person I’ve come across. I’ve lost weight and made loads of new friends too! I even do weight lifting classes now with the guys!

Overtheborder · 06/03/2019 19:37

today

Disney2 · 06/03/2019 19:38

Definitely no judgement, go for it! I would recommend maybe looking up some tips before you start if you haven't exercised regularly before, you don't want to start too gung ho and pull a muscle or something not speaking from experience. Also don't be afraid to ask the staff for help using the machines, some of the weights ones are impossible to figure out first try. Good luck! Smile

AliceAforethought · 06/03/2019 19:38

Tessy March into that gym with your head high! I agree with others that the gym crowd are a not a judgemental crowd. Why would anyone criticise someone who’s clearly trying to improve herself?
Also, most gym staff go out of their way to help and advise you on how to meet your goals.

snoozetastic · 06/03/2019 19:40

You will have an induction where they show you how to use stuff. They can tell you if you are worried about weight limits. Usually gym machines are sturdier than home machines.

Get some advice re low vs high impact. You can eg use the treadmill for walking uphill rather than running (I'm 17.5 st so know how it feels) - gets you puffing at the right level without straining joints or making big noise pounding away to begin. Exercise bike, cross trainer and rowing machine also all good.

I would invest in a nice supermarket pair of gym trousers to help you feel good. Don't waste money on special tops though

TheLongRider · 06/03/2019 19:42

Go and be proud of yourself! I'm never going to be a 6ft supermodel and I'll always be the colour of a beetroot when I exercise but I'm still here and I'm strong.

Don't worry about your size, there will be men bigger than you who won't think twice about being in the gym.

Enjoy the sauna and the pool. After the first few times you will feel like your muscles are about to tear themselves apart and you will be walking very carefully but it will pass. Don't be discouraged, recover and try again.

44PumpLane · 06/03/2019 19:44

Sorry CBA to rtft but any time I ever went to the gym, the only people I ever thought badly of were the posers and if I saw someone overweight and/or red in the face and/or huffing and puffing (last two apply to people of any size) I might have thought "good for you" if I thought anything at all.

Anyone who feels the need to say anything unkind is not worthy of your head space. Go for it!!

JRMisOdious · 06/03/2019 19:47

Not a gym but same principle. I walk a lot and about a year ago started noticing regularly a very large lady, pushing herself along, head down with what was obviously a huge effort. My first thought was that’s brilliant, not sure I would have had her determination. A year on, she’s literally half the woman she was, power walking, head held high in the most magnificent fluorescent gear 😁 I see her most days, rain or shine and admire her enormously, as most people at the gym will admire your efforts to. Go for it, you’ll be so glad you did.

SpiritedLondon · 06/03/2019 19:47

I’m a size 16/18 and have often been the biggest person in a class and when I’ve had a moment of crisis about that have always reassured myself that I’m actually at a class at the gym and not sitting on the sofa eating crisps. Whenever I see someone larger person out running I always want to give them a little cheer because they’re out there having a go and doing something positive. Give it your best shot OP - make the change you want.

Thurmanmurman · 06/03/2019 19:51

Personally, if I do happen to notice a larger person at the gym, I admire them for taking steps to lose weight. I'm not overweight, but quite unfit and felt really self conscious at first but as other posters have said, everyone is too busy with their own thing to notice. Good luck OP.

SignOnTheWindow · 06/03/2019 19:55

I used to go to the gym with my friend who was 23st. No one batted an eyelid.

March through those doors with pride!

Onlysocks · 06/03/2019 20:04

When I joined the gym I had the same concern. The wonderful fitness instructor who showed me round said “everyone is here to improve their body so you are the same as everyone else”. That really stuck with me and I’ve found other gym members nothing but supportive.

CurlsandCurves · 06/03/2019 20:21

Honestly, no one will care, everyone’s too busy getting on with doing what they need to do in my experience. I was pushing 18 stone at my biggest.

Once you’re familiar with the place and what you want to do, get some cracking tunes on your phone, earphones in and enjoy working out and feeling better about Yourself!

VelvetSpoon · 06/03/2019 20:33

Another saying yes, go. Think not about where you are now but where you will be by the summer/ Christmas/ this time next year.

Swimming is amazing exercise especially when you are quite overweight, it's true all over exercise. It's what I would do (if I could swim and wasn't scared of water!). I do look at others in the gym because I'm nosey and for inspiration (I often checkout how fast people are going on the treadmill...usually a lot faster than me) but the only ones I think in any way negatively about are the grunting weightlifters (why so loud?!) and the full makeup and false lashes wearing TOWIE wannabes, mainly because they chatchatchat to each other non stop and seem to come to the gym to socialize and pose/ take selfies...never seen any of them break a sweat yet! But anyone over weight (as I am myself) I just think good for you for taking that first step.

TooTrueToBeGood · 06/03/2019 20:38

Go. Thinking gyms are only for fit, buff people is like thinking dentists are only for people with perfect teeth.

Vinorosso74 · 06/03/2019 20:40

I agree. Go! I go to a council gym and there are people of all ages, shapes and sizes there.

GabsAlot · 06/03/2019 20:41

im the same op overweight but cant face a gym i have noone nearby to go with so i just dont

id love to swim but cant find a costume to cover everything-anyway i do hope u go it might spur me on too