Is my friendship of 25 years over?

[Nothinglefttochoose]

I have known my school friend for nearly 25 years.

We have Kids the same age and used to do a lot together when we were on maternity leave and also when we were younger, going out partying etc.

About 5 months ago she was extremely rude to me in a social situation. I was very hurt and because of that pulled back from the friendship and thought I’d leave it to her for a while, to organise things and contact me.

Every time I’d see her at joint social things after the incident, she’d say how much she missed me and how she missed our chats and catch ups etc etc.

But she’d never actually instigate anything much herself, even though whenever I would organise a catch up she would seem keen.

Well I’ve gotten a bit sick of always being the organiser so thought I’d just leave it.... and I haven’t seen her and barely heard from
Her in 3 months.

What would do in this situation?

I expect you’ll all say, shes not much of a friend or maybe it’s my fault? But I guess I just want to get your take on things?

Thanks so much

My friendship of over 30 years was similar to your friendship. I was getting very frustrated always being the organiser of our meet ups. I told her and I think she was very offended. Things got worse after that. She contacted me twice asking to meet up but left it to me to arrange the where and when and then turned up in a bad mood on both occasions because she didn't like what I had arranged. I have moved on and I feel relieved about it.

Hmm it’s so hard to know what to do. I thank everyone for their responses. Maybe I have my answer in the fact I haven’t contacted her like I normally would and consequently there is no contact.

I'm not an organiser, everyone always seems busier than me so I just slot in.

This kind of attitude drives me crackers. Of course people aren’t busier than you and of course you can organise stuff yourself

I know it's not perfect and I am lonely, there's only so many times you want to wonder round by yourself.
Well I do a 'i'm going to xxx on Friday if anyone wants a lift' but 48 weeks out of 52 I'm a SAHM. Now our kids are moving up on in secondary school, I'm finding less people around Monday to Friday. Many are working four days a week and it seems presumptuous to grab them on their day off if it's been a tough week. One has a very random shift pattern. It's not great, I'm a bit trapped with remote living & DH away.

But why don’t you say to one person “hi XYZ, there is a new film on at the cinema / coffee shop open / nice walk I’ve seen / got a bottle of wine in, do you want to join me?”

Just try it, honestly, people will appreciate it!