To be annoyed at partner spending so much on my birthday?

[daffodyle]

This is not a stealth boast, before I get flamed for that.

Last year for my birthday, my bf of a few years took me away to Dublin for a few nights. This was very kind, and it was the year of a milestone birthday for him, so I paid for us to go to a very snazzy hotel retreat for a few days. I told him before my birthday this year, please dob’t spend more than £100 on me as it’s all I’ll be able to afford for you. He agreed. Turns out he’s booked to take me to Rome for 5 days. Yes I can’t wait but ffs, that must have cost him so much money!!!!

I now feel pressured to get him a good birthday present, as he gets arsey when I hint that sorry I can’t afford to spend the same. I’d be happy with cheap hotels and ryanair but with him it’s BA and 5*.

We both earn the same amount of money, but he gets family hand outs. Money isn’t that tight but I just feel it’s frivolous to spend this much money on birthdays, ESPECIALLY when we agreed a cap of £100.

I'll go instead?

It’s not that I don’t want to go, I just don’t want to put pressure on myself financially to be able to spend a similar amount to him

Just say “thanks but I can only afford a Nando’s for your birthday” now before he sulks. Go and enjoy yourself.

I'm stuck at He gets arsey when you hint you can't spend that much?!
He doesn't sound that nice really. He sounds like he only gives to receive similar back.

This would really annoy me - you agreed a budget, he blew it and then he’ll get arsey if you don’t spend the same on him

Sounds like it’s all about what he gets back, I’d make it clear im sticking to the original agreeement and let him sulk

Where does she say he only gives to receive similar back?

YABU to be annoyed about the present but YANBU to be annoyed if he expects it to be reciprocated when you've specifically said it wouldn't be.

He doesn't sound like a great catch if he gets arsy over you not planning on spending as much on him. He just sounds like someone who likes to show-off.