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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

DH's eating / food weirdness

49 replies

Home77 · 05/03/2019 18:09

Getting a bit fed up with it. Doesn't eat all day, not breakfast or lunch. The hungry evenings. Sometimes eats junk, then. Complains if we eat dinner late. Fasting? Not sure.

OP posts:
LellowYedbetter · 05/03/2019 18:11

Why care? Just ignore him and eat when you want to eat. He won’t starve and if he does it’s nobody else’s fault

AutumnCrow · 05/03/2019 18:14

Is he trying to control IBS / count calories / lose weight??

recrudescence · 05/03/2019 18:16

Have you asked why? What’s his explanation?

Wolfiefan · 05/03/2019 18:44

Ask him? Confused

Original poster
Home77 · 05/03/2019 19:00

It's to control weight I think. I do just eat whenever.

OP posts:
mynameiscalypso · 05/03/2019 19:01

Eating disorder?

Orchidflower1 · 05/03/2019 19:02

What’s he said when you’ve asked him?

Tomtontom · 05/03/2019 19:07

What are you getting fed up with?

Original poster
Home77 · 05/03/2019 19:08

The insinuation that he is better by doing this, he doesn't have to eat every hour or two like some people (i.e. me). makes me feel like i am someone wrong by, I feel, eating normally.

OP posts:
Original poster
Home77 · 05/03/2019 19:09

His sister told me family all have some eating disorder, but he says not

OP posts:
Tomtontom · 05/03/2019 19:10

Is he making comments about your eating habits?

Original poster
Home77 · 05/03/2019 19:10

Yes, sometimes.

OP posts:
FleeceDetective · 05/03/2019 19:10

Are you/he overweight?

Original poster
Home77 · 05/03/2019 19:11

He said the comment about not having to eat every hour or two like some...also goes on about how he has got 'fat' (is not, very thin). It is annoying.

OP posts:
Wolfiefan · 05/03/2019 19:11

Well you don’t need to eat every hour or two but fasting all day every day isn’t healthy either.
What does he say is his reason for this?

CurlyhairedAssassin · 05/03/2019 19:11

I’ve got one like that. I think it’s weird and a belated rebellion against his mum who always provided 3 meals a day for all the kids whatever. So, say as an older teenager, he would be going out with his mates and say that he didn’t need any tea, she would say “oh I’ve done it now anyway, you may as well eat it” and guilt him into eating it.

My DH is really odd with takeaways. DS and I will eat ours at 7.30 or something on a Saturday. DH will eat his starter with us but put his main meal to keep warm in the oven for a couple of hours. For some reason he wants to eat a takeaway late at night on his own.

Again, the armchair psychologist in me says in a household of 8 growing up, he never got a fair share and this is him squirrelling away his curry till he can be sure no-one’s going to steal some!

It’s annouing as we will be finished, cleared up, Curry smell dissipating and ready to watch a film. And then DH will pause it later on to go and make a mess and smell in the kitchen again.

Grrr....

Yeah. They’re weird.

Wolfiefan · 05/03/2019 19:11

He thinks he is fat but is thin?
He’s not being annoying. He clearly has issue about food.

Original poster
Home77 · 05/03/2019 19:12

he doesn't really have a reason. It's not 'health' as such, think is basically to lose / prevent weight gain.

OP posts:
Original poster
Home77 · 05/03/2019 19:14

He might, but then it's annoying not to admit to it and do anything, and be in denial about other family with eating disorders. He goes running and says it is hard, (well i think you didn't eat) seemed suprised how much easier it was after had eaten at Christmas. Confused You would think at his age would be more sensible

OP posts:
CurlyhairedAssassin · 05/03/2019 19:14

So, OP, look to how they “do food” in his family. Or growing up.

Original poster
Home77 · 05/03/2019 19:15

Big fuss over food, they love to feed others, food as a treat. many eggs at easter that kind of thing. so, you'd think they would enjoy it - strange really

OP posts:
CurlyhairedAssassin · 05/03/2019 19:16

Nothing you can do. Except to make sure DC don’t pick up any odd habits from him. Model normal eating yourself.

Original poster
Home77 · 05/03/2019 19:17

Yes, I have thought that. They seem to be Ok for now.

OP posts:
Tomtontom · 05/03/2019 19:19

My partner doesn't eat during the day, he's definitely not got an eating disorder.

He's at an age where weight gain can creep up on you, so he could be careful for that reason.

He shouldn't be making comments about you, but he seems to have made a general comment that you've taken to be about you.

Strikes me that you're trying to find a problem here, or that you have a problem yourself and you're deflecting.

MsRosewater · 05/03/2019 19:19

This could be my DH!!! It drives me mad- it's like he feels it's an achievement or demonstration of discipline not eating all day (and that the corollary is that because I eat regular meals I lack self control Hmm). Then he eats crap in the evening

He can do what he wants TBH, I find it tiresome and possibly attention seeking , but do worry that it's poor role modelling for DD

Do you have kids OP?