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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Is using the term 'special needs' offensive now?

261 replies

STOPSCRATCHINGTHECRADLECAP · 05/03/2019 10:04

I've just witnessed a FB conversation in which a mother with children with special needs says that 'special needs' is offensive and it's now 'special educational needs'.

This is new to me, I've not heard of this.

How long has this been the case?

OP posts:
BlooShampoo · 05/03/2019 22:18

Not sure if someone has already mentioned this but another reason why the term “Asperger’s” has fallen out of favour is because the eponymous Dr Asperger was recently discovered to have been much more involved in Nazi eugenics programs than was previously thought.
I call myself autistic, personally. Autistic autistic autistic. Every damn time. Anti-vaxxers and their fearmongering about people like me will not drive me to euphemisms. Fuck them.

Patchworksack · 05/03/2019 22:18

Saying a person IS special needs is offensive, that they HAVE special needs is not so bad, although the preferred term is additional needs.

IceBearRocks · 05/03/2019 22:18

Well my severely disabled child has SEN.... He is severely delayed and has Special EDUCATIONAL Needs.
My other son with autism has special needs but us high functioning autistic so ahead of his peers educationally.... No SEN but SN or as we call it.... Extra Needs ! We don't use Special at all as we have a neuro typical NT daughter and she is not less special than either of the boys!!!
Call my kids what you like...but retard will get my heckles up and I will punch you in the face

BishopBrennansArse · 05/03/2019 22:23

Under the old system I'd be considered high functioning.

I'm glad it isn't used now, functioning labels can either minimise the very real issues have when unable to speak in high stress situations or as in DS2's case people underestimate him as they see minimally verbal as unintelligent.

ShadyLady53 · 05/03/2019 22:31

@BlooShampoo thanks Bloo I appreciate you letting me know that. Causes a bit of a predicament for me as it has definitely been considered offensive by a good few of the children and adults themselves that I’ve worked with, and I’m getting close to 1000 in number in terms of (your preference!) Autistic People. It might help me to understand why you and the people you’ve come across prefer “autistic people” to “people with autism” ?

I’ll just start asking people their preference from now on and if I get in trouble at work so be it, I can argue it’s the individual’s preference. Defining people by their diagnosis ie “Down’s Syndrome Person” “Diabetic Person” would be a cause for disciplinary action where I work and so would “Autistic Person”.

We have this problem with the term “Aspie”. A lot of teenage girls especially like to say “I’m an Aspie” but their parents find it quite upsetting and as professionals we don’t use the term...yet the person itself doesnt. I have to say though, I haven’t met anyone yet who has asked me to say Autistic person/people or has described themself that way - it’s always been a variation of “I have Autism” in my experience.

ShadyLady53 · 05/03/2019 22:34

Sorry that was meant to say in relation to the term “Aspie” that the person themself don’t mind and actually prefer the term.

ShadyLady53 · 05/03/2019 22:35

doesn’t mind. I’m typing in the rain and it’s messing with the touch screen Confused

BlooShampoo · 05/03/2019 22:57

The reason that I, and the other autistic people with whom I’ve discussed this, give is that autism isn’t an illness, so we can’t “have” it per se - rather, it’s simply a different neurotype and the way we are, inextricable from our personalities and our sense of self. For example, I wouldn’t say “I have bisexuality” or “I have tallness” - I would say “I am bisexual” or “I am tall” (sorry, I don’t know if these are odd analogies, but I do try!)
I am aware though, as you’ve said, that the NHS etc pushes person first language, so I wouldn’t take umbrage at someone using it in passing.

ShadyLady53 · 05/03/2019 23:19

Thanks @BlooShampoo that’s really helpful and your analogies make a lot of sense to me. I’ll mention it during training/cpd at work as it’s good to hear about other perspectives and we’re always encountering new individuals who may have differing preferences to the language we most commonly use. I’m also glad to hear the kind of language we’ve been asked to use wouldn’t offend you.

Luckily, I don’t work for the NHS so don’t have to deal with any particular agenda regarding language, although as I’ve said we could face disciplinary action for using defining language. I have two jobs, one in a university and the other is on Outreach working for loads of inclusive settings, specialist schools and colleges for SEN, Social and Emotional Needs, Autism and Behaviour and in some residential care homes or
charitable groups. Across the board, it’s totally person centered and tailored to the individuals we work with and not whatever the current trends or “buzz” words are. The rest of my family either work for the NHS or in private healthcare settings and listening to the kind of language they have to use drives me potty sometimes! It can be extremely patronising.

Poloshot · 05/03/2019 23:21

Only if people are looking to be offended

Gilead · 05/03/2019 23:24

Perhaps polo you could read the whole thread and look at the reasons why some of us with additional needs are offended.

SenecaFalls · 05/03/2019 23:26

*For example, I wouldn’t say “I have bisexuality” or “I have tallness” - I would say “I am bisexual” or “I am tall” (sorry, I don’t know if these are odd analogies, but I do try!)"

I think these are very good analogies. It also brought to mind that people don't generally say 'I have deafness" either. They say "I am Deaf."

MumUnderTheMoon · 05/03/2019 23:41

I agree with blooshampoo autism is an intrinsic part of who I am I wouldn't be me without it. It can make life more complicated but I wouldn't give it up.

bonnielassie1 · 05/03/2019 23:57

I work for a special needs foundation but we offer support to individuals with developmental disabilities and special education needs and therefore acts as an umbrella term for the diverse population we serve Grin

PickAChew · 06/03/2019 00:03

No SN and SEN are not exactly the same thing.

FriarTuck · 06/03/2019 08:02

I have autism and I'm autistic, I'm also an Aspie (sometimes, though people tend to not understand that so autistic is easier). But I'm not a person with autism. My autism is too tightly wired into my whole being for that - it makes it sounds like it's at arm's length, something I can pick up and put down.

BollocksToBrexit · 06/03/2019 08:17

'Person with autism' makes it sound like being autistic is something to be ashamed of. I'm autistic.

chickensaresafehere · 06/03/2019 08:24

I agree with Beka too.
SEN is totally different from SN,in my opinion. SEN refers to a school environment,while SN means that their disability impacts on all aspects of life.

My dd has a significant disability & if people ask I either say she has SN or has a disability.

But at the end of the day it's all just bollocks & we should concentrate on making life more inclusive for people & children with disabilities. My dd,who is now 12 is increasingly being isolated from mainstream activities,due to her being 'different' & non verbal. And this makes me very sad.

lifebeginz · 06/03/2019 08:32

I haven't read the whole thread but where I used to work (in a support/care role) the term was "Additional support needs" I do agree with PP who worries about saying the wrong thing! Seems almost everything is offensive to someone nowadays

MontStMichel · 06/03/2019 10:21

My adult DD does not understand what the words "additional" or "support" or "needs" mean, because they are all conceptual - never mind all three put together in a particular concept. I also doubt she processes the difference between "she has special needs" or "she is special needs", as its likely all she gets is "she" and "needs". However, what does really bother her is that people stare at her, when she goes out in public.

While I accept that some phrases such as "retard" or "mentally handicapped" are offensive, I find it bizarre that people get so hung up on subtle differences in terms like special needs as opposed to additional needs, when so many children and adults with special/additional needs encounter stigma, public disapproval and lack of understanding from other "normal" people in public. Read countless posts on MN by parents of children with ASD, ADHD or whatever and how upset and depressed they are, because they feel obliged to be seen to be doing something about their child's behaviour at soft play, the park, etc as other parents disapprove and clearly see them as incompetent parents, rather than people struggling to do their best to take their child off to run around and let off steam!

IMO, there is discrimination in the NHS, education, politics (implicitly not explicitly), where the attitude is that children or adults with learning disabilities are second class citizens, and are not worthy of the extra resources, unless their parent/carers fight every step of the way, for every bit of help they get. I would prefer to see more education to teach everybody a bit about common conditions and change attitudes, rather than arguments about what are the latest acceptable labels. The actual terminology used is largely irrelevant imo, to the fundamental attitudes underneath - people can use the most politically correct terms in the world, but still say them sarcastically to express how they really think!

Samcro · 06/03/2019 10:25

MontStMiche good post, agree with you.

MumUnderTheMoon · 06/03/2019 10:32

Montstmichel
The reason I don't like the term "special needs" is because it sets people apart they are "special" usually said with a condescending head tilt. Saying someone has additional support needs merely states fact. We have to get the language right to promote inclusivity.

Samcro · 06/03/2019 10:43

imo all the worry about language and getting it right won't make make things inclusive.
people with disabilities still have to put up with discrimination (have a look at the Vax thread on here to see that) they still struggle to access places, and don't get me started on the staring and name calling.
my dd is already set apart, her wheelchair does that, minimising that by saying she has additional support needs will not help.
not every disabled person has a voice and I hate that they get othered by people who do.

Gilead · 06/03/2019 10:53

Montstmichel, I have additional needs, as do my children and we do fully comprehend terminologies, so that's why we get hung up on the terminology. It is important and it's language that's created the increase in hate crime.

Samcro · 06/03/2019 11:25

so why not focus on that? stamp out the hate crime, stamp out the use of this language in schools for instance? if a child is using "special" as an insult for instance, that child needs teaching why that is wrong. why is it the victims who have to change their language?(genuine question)
surely we need to teach people to see disability as not a bad thing to be mocked.