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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to report this to police?

17 replies

cfmagnet · 05/03/2019 09:01

A couple of weeks ago my DD was playing football at the park with her dad. The ball went out of the park and onto the path so she ran to retrieve it. Whilst on the path, she saw a man walking towards her. She made eye contact with him and stepped aside so he would have a clear path to walk past her. After she did this, he also stepped to the side, putting himself back on her path. At this point, her father had caught up and came into view of this man. He then stepped back onto his original path and carried on walking. My DD was quite shaken by this and described it as this man following her. We had a chat about it and her father said he has seen this man around the area we live before and thinks he may be developmental disabilities. We believed the incident may have been a misunderstanding and left it at that, although my daughter was uncharacteristically anxious about it.
Fast forward to yesterday and I was in the same park with my DC's and a couple of friends DC's after school. I was on one side of the (fenced in) park with the younger children and my older DCs were on the opposite side of the park, playing. I saw a boy approach my daughter's and talk to them. My DD looked concerned so I called her over to me. The boy continued walking around the outside of the park fence. My DD told me that the boy is from her school and he was scared because a man was following him. Not wanting the boy to walk alone if he was being followed, I called to him to come and speak to me. As he approached me, my daughter pointed out a man who had come.from the same direction as the boy and told me it was the same man from the incident with her a couple of weeks ago. I told the boy to come into the park with me and tell me what had happened and wait for the man to go. The boy said he'd been walking from his friends house and had noticed the man walking behind him. He felt uncomfortable so crossed the road. The man crossed the road too. So the boy crossed back again. The man followed suit. The boy sped up, so did the man. The poor kid was obviously quite shaken. Whilst he was telling me all this, the man had walked past the park and up a side road out of sight. I still didn't want the boy to walk home alone so gave him my phone to call his mum. His mum arranged to come.and pick him up from a shop up the road ( no idea why she couldn't drive to the park to get him!) I couldn't walk him to the shop to meet his mum as I was waiting for my friend to pick her children up from me at the park. It is a straight road from the park to the shop though so I made sure to watch him up the road and wait for him to get in his mum's car.
My daughter has been really worried about this and barely slept last night. After thinking about it, I sent an email to the schools safeguarding team this morning and made an online report the police, too. AIBU to report this to the police? I'm aware no crime has been committed but it just doesn't sit right with me to ignore it.

OP posts:
Seeline · 05/03/2019 09:07

I think you have done the right thing.
Whilst your DDs experience could have been accidental, the actions described by her friend are very much intentional.
At least the police may be able to increase patrols of the area, but they may already be aware of the man and be able to talk to him or take appropriate action.
Also, alerting the school means that they can do some reinforcement of the stranger danger message.

Mumlovestoast · 05/03/2019 09:09

I’d report it if I saw it, better safe than sorry. Hope your DD is ok

Darkstar4855 · 05/03/2019 09:11

YANBU. It’s much easier for the police to take action if there are multiple reports and a clear pattern of behaviour can be seen.

So often people don’t report minor things and then something awful happens that might have been prevented.

Gatehouse77 · 05/03/2019 09:14

Yes, I'd much rather inform someone to be told it's nothing than find out later it was something. And it will put your mind at rest (to some extent) to now you've done 'something'.

siestakey · 05/03/2019 09:16

It's so scary, there are some real messed up freaks out there. (developmental issues or not, it's no excuse to scare young children/have sinister thoughts towards them!)

I would have done the same thing OP, and call the police to let them know, if it's the same park they can maybe watch it and see if he does it again?

Doglikeme · 05/03/2019 09:19

Yes, if he's not well then the police can deal with it. He might be a danger to children, the police should always know.

anniehm · 05/03/2019 09:23

Call them, there's a non emergency number to report incidents that are not currently happening. Would be helpful to have the boys parents info to hand as the police will need to speak to him to get a description.

Dvg · 05/03/2019 09:33

I would , I remember when i was a teenager i used to take my little cousin to the local park and all the young kids talked about the "bush man" as a way to scare the others.

Turns out it was a man who would wait behind the bushes until a child walked out and then follow them, apparently other adults had been told but no one had done anything about it. when i saw him just standing there staring at the kids i called the police as i didn't want to risk it. Turns out he had already been arrested for kidnapping and pedophilia type things before.

angstinabaggyjumper · 05/03/2019 09:44

It would appear that he intends to intimidate at the very least.

GreenFingersWouldBeHandy · 05/03/2019 09:50

Reporting it to the school and the police is absolutely the right thing to do.

Well done for calling the boy over and helping him to call his Mum.

Drum2018 · 05/03/2019 09:54

You were right to report it. The poor lad yesterday - fair play to him for seeking help from you. Make sure to let other parents know so that kids are not left to walk home alone.

Missingstreetlife · 05/03/2019 10:02

You have done the right thing

CoolJule43 · 05/03/2019 10:40

You have absolutely done the right thing in informing the police and the school.

Good on you for looking out for the young lad too. Too many people look the other way or don't want to get involved these days.

cfmagnet · 05/03/2019 11:00

Glad to know I'm not being unreasonable, thanks all. The police called me this morni g after I'd submitted the online report and they're sending someone out to speak to me and DD about it. Haven't heard anything from the school so far.

OP posts:
TheSerenDipitY · 05/03/2019 11:04

report it and give the police the mums phone number, it should be in your call logs, and also if you go back to the park get a photo of him, or video and you can give that to the police too

Damntheman · 05/03/2019 11:32

Definitely done the right thing! How scary for your DD and that poor boy. I'm glad you were there to help him.

MumW · 05/03/2019 11:40

I think I'd mention it to the police.
It could be innocent or it could be something. Either way, what he is doing is causing distress.

If the man does have some kind of special needs, his behaviour could just be one of playing. Sort of along the lines of when playing with a baby, they tip their head to one side so you do the same. The baby turns the other way and you copy.

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