Why does he do this?

[ALargeGinPlease]

For example, he asks 'what time is this thing on Sunday?', I reply 'i don't know', he then says ,is it at 12?' Aargh... If I knew, I would have answered the first time. He's always doing it and it drives me mad.

Feefoe8 we had a cleaner at a lace I worked who was exactly the same. I first thought it was about work stuff and she was trying to get info from us but it wasn't, it was about everything!
" what are you having for tea"
" I don't know yet:
" something nice?"
" oh, I'll see what's in"
" you could have chips, you like chips "
and so on.
This makes her sound not clued up but the rest of the time she was brought and good fun when we went out.
She was included in general chit chat so it wasn't like it was a way to get to know us.
It was just odd!!

Mine asks me what’s gonna happen in a soap plotline

I don’t know?! That’s the point

God my dh is like this.

"Do we have x in the pantry?"
"Don't know, go look."

"What time is the school meeting?"
"Don't know. Check the note."

"How do I cook xyz?"
"Don't know, read the recipe."

Even if I do know I won't say as I'm sick of being asked like I'm some bloody encyclopaedia of everyday shit.

There are times we make a decision together, like what day he'll do the school pick up because I'm going to increase hours that day. And then every. single. week. he will forget and look surprised that this is now his day despite the lengthy discussion and the fact it's been happening for 2 months.

Fuck me that was cathartic.

Haha, not sure if this thread is funny or not. It certainly rings a bell.
My husband asks what food we have for supper. I invariably reply that we have the food that he and I bought when we BOTH went to the supermarket. He is there when we buy it!

Or he will ask if we are eating out where I fancy so I suggest something and he replies are you sure so I say I don’t mind you pick and he gets annoyed about me being indecisive and having to make the choices ... why not take me at my first answer instead of doubting me!

My husband does this exact thing. It's so irritating 😂

I get this from people at work. They phone me from the office while I'm driving to ask a question answered on a form which I filled in 6 months ago and is printed out and stored in the file they have sitting in front of them on their desk. And then act like I'm half arsing my job for not having memorised every detail about every potential customer I've ever spoken to.

However the actual worst is when DH asks me what I want for dinner. He does the cooking and usually the online shop too so he knows what we've got in. I'll gratefully eat whatever and have literally never complained, but he needs me to tell him what I want. Fine. Spaghetti boglanese? No, we don't have any pasta. A curry? No, he doesn't fancy that. A fucking tower of soufflés with jus de aubergine? BIG SIGH, that'll take HOURS, but if it's REALLY what you want... NO, I DON'T CARE, PLEASE JUST FEED US.

A lot of it is just thinking out loud isnt it..? On the other side of the coin is a partner who keeps checking youve done things and not appreciating that you are an autonomous intelligent human being who can achieve things without monitoring or guidance ..such great achievements as putting the bins out ,emptying the washer etc..

@moosesormeece haha I ask dh what he wants all time and he probably doesn't care. It's really just because being the food organiser day in and day out is mundane and I get tired of trying to think of things to cook.

* An* encyclopaedia of everyday shit.

Mine does the asking thing, about stuff he has done before, or that's is a normal thing in our house, he just says he was checking as he didn't want to get it wrong. New, never done before task, no previous experience....Nah, I won't ask, I will assume and guess and involve no one.

This is like my partner - it's so infuriating! Although he also likes to remind me of something at the moment I'm doing it, ie i look in the bag for nappies - no nappies. I go upstairs to get nappies, 'can you just grab some nappies while your up there please'. 😩

My then, now exh, used to ring me from his work to ask me the DCs' dates of birth or ages if he needed to know when filling in a form or something similar.

With their ages he'd ring and say something like, John's seven isn't he? The date of birth however, seemed to be beyond his ability to remember. Pure laziness and lack of interest; this was a man with a very busy work load who played Bridge to a very high standard.

As pp said, I think he thought his 'big' man's brain didn't need to retain such low level information as he had someone who could always be relied upon to come up with the necessary details.

Ugh this seriously pisses me off, and DH seems to be getting worse for it recently. If I don't know, I don't fucking know on matter how many times you rephrase the question!

My dh of 32 yrs does it. And has always done it regardless of any strategy I try to get him to stop doing it. It's his worst fault. But he only does it if I'm here, if I go away he never calls to ask me anything which just goes to prove that he doesn't need me to tell him. If I ask him why he does it he says he doesn't know. It's totally infuriating made even more so by the fact that if I snap at him after the millionth time of being asked he wants to know why I'm being grumpy.

Him: would you like a coffee
Me: no thanks I'm fine
Him: sure?
Me: yes I'm fine ta
Him: (after making the coffee) are you sure I can't get you anything?
Me: (curtly) yes I'm fine thanks
Him: (5 mins later) can I get you anything? Sure you don't want coffee?
Me: ofgs stop bloody asking me, I don't want anything I'm fine I've already said
Him: all right, no need to be so grumpy, I'm only asking

Or

Him: do we have any [whatever]
Me: I don't know
Him: did we buy some last time we shopped?
Me: I'm not sure, I can't remember
Him: I think we did, have we used it?
Me: I haven't used any but can't remember if we bought some
Him: I'll go and buy some
Me: have you looked to see if we have some
Him: no but I think we used it
Me: why don't you look first?
Him: ok no need to be so sarky

Or

Him: where's the paper
Me: the paper? What paper?
Him: for the printer
Me: what do you mean where is the paper?
Him: the printer paper, where is it?
Me: where do you think it is? Why are you asking me?
Him: why are you always so bad tempered, I'm only asking
Me: because you know where it is why are you asking?
Him: oh yes, in the drawer below the printer
Him: I only asked to check
Me: check what? It's been there for 5 years and you always ask me
Him: why can't you just answer me nicely?

I have hundreds, if not thousands, of examples. It drives me insane.

This is a man who had an extremely responsible job that he won awards for. He's always been a better housekeeper than me and is far more domesticated. Has always done way more child centred things than me and is generally a nice affable man. He retired last month and I am looking for new strategies to cope with his questions before I end up killing him at least when he was working it was only evenings and weekends, now it's a constant feature.

Or they ask the question, don't listen and then ask another 17 million times in the run up to the actual event! Or ask when their own work night out is and what time it starts!!! How would I know 😠

Dh is pretty good mostly. He is pretty good at looking for stuff but he does something the dc do which drives me nuts.

Dh/dc: Are there any ice lollies?
Me: yes
Dh/dc: which drawer are they in?

That gives me a probably irrational rage but it is not a massive freezer it has what 4 drawers? It isn’t that much of a challenge to open and close them until you find them and they are almost always in the same drawer every time anyway so bloody look!

My friend and coworker worked a weekend with me while her son had a stomach virus-her husband "couldn't find" the garbage bin liners and had their child throw up into a cardboard pizza delivery box! She said to him when she got home "How can you live in this house for ten years and not know where they are?!" Yeah myself and the other coworkers laughed so much over that gem of a story

andypudding that's fair enough - I suppose it is a bit of a mental load thing. It's just that usually there is a right answer, which is whatever it is that we have the ingredients in for and he fancies cooking, and I feel like I'm supposed to guess what it is.