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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To have banned him?

23 replies

LellowYedbetter · 04/03/2019 18:04

I run an online photography group. Rules are basic. Photos must have been taken in the UK and must be your own work. Anyone that breaks the rules gets a warning and then a ban if the continue breaking the rules.

So a guy joins and submits his photo. It’s a picture of a market in India. Lovely pic but not suitable for the group so I delete it (but before I had chance lots of group members had told him off in the comments) and I sent him a message saying that although the pic was nice, it wasn’t taken in the UK so had to be removed.
Next day he submitted another picture, a scene of rural India. Again, lovely pic but not the UK! By the time I’d seen it a row had erupted where people had told him off, he replied saying he did “live” in the UK so hadn’t broken the rules. Someone explained that it wasn’t about where you lived, it’s about where the pic was taken. The guy seemed genuinely confused so I took the pic down and sent him a message explaining why.
Next day he submits a picture of Tower Bridge. Someone else recognised it as a published photo (not his own work) and another argument started. He argued that it was his picture as it was on his computer. Someone said it was a Microsoft screen saver thing, again he didn’t seem to understand what was meant by “your own work”. I took it down and sent him yet another message explaining the rules in detail.
This morning he posted a picture of a river in India!! Everyone was kicking off saying the admin was shit, they were leaving the group and the whole thing was a joke. I took the pic down and banned him, explaining to the group what I’d done. Most were supportive but a couple were outraged and said he’d been discriminated against because of a language barrier. Now I feel guilty but what else was I meant to do? I’d messaged him numerous times and other members were complaining and leaving the group.

Was I out of order?

OP posts:
CalmdownJanet · 04/03/2019 18:08

A case of damned if you do damned if you don't really. You were right though, the rules are clear, you messaged him, he had a chance, sounds like he would have wrecked your head and it would have caused tension in the group anyway. Don't feel bad

GreenThing · 04/03/2019 18:09

Do you think he might have been teasing your slightly anal-sounding members? Wink

Awwlookatmybabyspider · 04/03/2019 18:11

To be honest I'd be glad to be banned. The site very clique , tbh.
I'm sure people will probably disagree but its how I feel.
Why does it matter where the photos are taken. People must live easy lives if that's all they've got to get worked up over.

LellowYedbetter · 04/03/2019 18:11

I feel guilty because he seemed like a nice bloke and his pictures of India were lovely. I just couldn’t get him to understand the rules. I even sent him a link for a photography group I follow which has worldwide pics (national geographic, globetrotters etc) which I notice he did join and his pics were well received so I don’t get why he continued to post them on our group (which is strictly UK photos only).

OP posts:
LellowYedbetter · 04/03/2019 18:13

There are photography groups covering all subjects. Ours is celebrating the UK, bit pointless having a subject matter if you allow anything and everything

OP posts:
SpinningSister · 04/03/2019 18:18

It can’t be cliquey if it’s about a subject matter.
If a ‘due in November’ group was all about babies due and someone wanted to post all the time about fly fishing, would that be ‘cliquey’

LellowYedbetter · 04/03/2019 18:19

Exactly spinning, it’s like having a “dog photos” group and someone constantly posting pictures of their cat. It’s defeats the purpose

OP posts:
Giraffey1 · 04/03/2019 18:20

I think you are overthinking this. It’s an online group. You have rules. They are clear. You gave him several chances. He didn’t follow them. You banned him. Time to move on!

Sonders · 04/03/2019 18:21

The only thing I would have done differently is post in the comments too before deleting so other members would be able to see you're on it. Probably would have banned him sooner too!

honeylane · 04/03/2019 18:27

You did the right thing

The tower bridge/Microsoft screensaver thing did crack me up though Grin

Cheby · 04/03/2019 18:35

I’d suggest he might have been trolling you. 😀

RestingBitchFaced · 04/03/2019 18:49

Can't you change the settings so that any posts need to be approved by admin before being allowed on the page? This happens on quite a few groups I'm in

RestingBitchFaced · 04/03/2019 18:50

Also agree he was probably taking the piss

Fiveredbricks · 04/03/2019 18:50

He was just trolling.

bebeboeuf · 04/03/2019 23:00

He was definitely a troll.

Talkingfrog · 04/03/2019 23:50

He had several warnings, with an explanation as to why. You did the right thing in removing him.

Dafspunk · 04/03/2019 23:53

Somehow I doubt his India photos were his own work either.

BartonHollow · 05/03/2019 00:06

I agree that he was trolling you and this had nothing to do with you being unkind unclear or culturally insensitive

The troll may not even really be Indian

BringYourUtmost · 05/03/2019 00:15

Oh he was totally trolling you, what a jerk.

BoomBoomsCousin · 05/03/2019 00:43

I agree he was probably trolling.

Even if he wasn't though, it's a voluntary group not linked to any necessary service. If it really was a language barrier the onus is on him to find someone who can translate so that he understands and is understood, not on you who are giving up your free time to facilitate an informal, voluntary single-interest group.

mantlepiece · 05/03/2019 01:02

If the people complaining about the language issue were so bothered they had quite a lot of time to jump in and help him out.

A group has rules, you warned and then enforced the rules. Plenty of time for people to PM and help.

However, I agree with PP you were trolled.

Frecklesonmyarm · 05/03/2019 05:56

It's clear he was taking the piss.

cauliflowersqueeze · 05/03/2019 06:01

Of course he understood!!!
It wasn’t a complicated rule - a child of 8 would understand that.

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