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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To give a really cheap wedding gift?

62 replies

talianew · 04/03/2019 12:39

I'm going to a wedding on Saturday.
It's my friends sisters wedding.
I went into a shop and found a really nice photo frame as a gift it was only £26.99
Got to the till and it was on sale for £6.99
Is this too cheap for a gift ?

OP posts:
NannyRed · 04/03/2019 13:42

You’ve bagged a bargain, so well done you. Totally unimaginative (we received more photo frames as wedding gifts than I care to count) but nevertheless a bargain. Wrap it up and have a fab time.

Vixxxy · 04/03/2019 13:43

Sounds fine, I think they might be overrun with photo frames though, its the go to gift for many!

Vixxxy · 04/03/2019 13:44

As for 'it costs more than that to host you', do you expect dinner party guests to hand you an envelope containing cash to 'cover their plate' when you host a dinner party? Or when you host a child's birthday party

Quite, and surely people don;t expect everything they spent on the wedding to be reimbursed in gifts?! I got a couple of gifts at mine and that was it, and I didn't care either. Can't imagine trying to work out how much a wedding cost, then buying the gift based on that rather than just something nice I saw and could afford.

SparkyBlue · 04/03/2019 13:46

@outpinked same here. They all got sent to the charity shop a few years later. Same with the pile of frames we got for baby and christening presents.

GreatDuckCookery6211 · 04/03/2019 13:49

It’ll be fine OP, enjoy the wedding!

DragAndDrop · 04/03/2019 13:55

Bargain. Don't give it a second thought OP

tellmewhenthespaceshiplandscoz · 04/03/2019 14:00

Sounds lovely OP and agree the value has nowt to do with the B&G cost to "host" you. That is a cost they choose and should budget for accordingly. We explicitly asked for no gifts at ours and most people respected this and those who wanted to buy us a gift did anyway. We sent a handwritten note after to these guests telling them how grateful we were for their specific gift.

Weddings are VERY expensive as guests!

suzy2b · 04/03/2019 14:01

I went to niece's wedding last year they did ask for money i'v properly only seen her a handfull of times i gave £80

DarlingNikita · 04/03/2019 14:11

Bargain! Logically it's worth £26.99, not the £6.99 you paid for it, which isn't that cheap IMO.

If it's lovely it's lovely, so who cares about the cost?

Purplecatshopaholic · 04/03/2019 14:12

Blimey Chilled, you routinely give 150 - 200 quid gifts?? Seriously? I could afford to (albeit not that many weddings going on in my world these days - most of my friends are getting divorced, lol), but why on earth would I, thats ridiculous, and no one I know would expect that either....

thedisorganisedmum · 04/03/2019 14:13

t’s probably going to cost them a lot more to host you at the party

so what? The 2 things have nothing to do with anything, it's not a restaurant for you pay for what your ordered.
You don't give a more expensive gift to someone who host a luxury wedding, and a cheaper gift to someone who has a smaller one?

PiebaldHamster · 04/03/2019 14:15

What if you couldn't afford to hand over £80, suz, would you just not have gone?

MakeItAmazing · 04/03/2019 14:19

I wouldn't put a photo in unless you have one of a group of your friends with you and her.

allthegoodusernameshavegone · 04/03/2019 14:21

The cost of a gift is irrelevant.

Katterinaballerina · 04/03/2019 14:22

Are you Irish Chilledout11? The large cash gift thing pretty standard in Ireland.

Chilledout11 · 04/03/2019 14:25

Yeah and my sister got married in England so bit difference

PiebaldHamster · 04/03/2019 14:32

Genuine question: what if you simply cannot afford to give £150-£200/wedding as a gift? Do you just not go?

KaliforniaDreamz · 04/03/2019 15:57

Of course if you dont have it you dont have to give it. just assuming OP was willing to pay £26.99 for it she could give more than £6.99

i aske for cash at my wedding and some people gave lots, some a little and some didnt even bring a card. i don't care! i just wanted them at my wedding.

It's a suggestion not a DEMAND!

IceIceCoffee · 04/03/2019 16:11

It sounds lovely o.p I'm getting married soon and I would appreciate a nice frame regardless of how much it costs.
I think mumsnet is a parallel universe sometimes £100-£200 is not the norm for most people. Its not even affordable for a lot

Original poster
talianew · 04/03/2019 16:16

Ah I know I just didn't have a clue what to get as they already have everything...
It was either that or champagne flutes Grin

OP posts:
thedisorganisedmum · 04/03/2019 16:19

that's why I hate people who don't give you a wedding list when you ask for it, it's such a nightmare to find a gift!

Sakura7 · 04/03/2019 16:20

I usually give 150 to 200 cash gift and that is what we received back

In Ireland I'm guessing?

It's one area where I wish we did things the UK way. I hate the insane expense and huge fuss over Irish weddings. Getting an invite through the post feels like getting a bill. And if you don't give the kind of money Chilled is talking about, you will be judged and gossiped about. Drives me nuts.

Hahaha88 · 04/03/2019 16:22

If you were going to spend £26.99 you could always pop £20 in a card? Depends how well you know the B+G though I guess. If it was a colleague or a casual friend I wouldn't bothered. If it was a close friend or family I probably wouldn't have bought a frame as they are very common gifts and I'd expect to spend £50ish

Snog · 04/03/2019 16:35

I would expect to spend £50 -£75 on a wedding present and I thought that was very much on the low side but maybe it isn't?

I don't go to weddings where I'm invited to just the evening do but if I did I would spend more like £20.

BlueMerchant · 04/03/2019 16:41

Give the frame alone. Don't try to pad out the cost by buying other things to add to it. I think it cheapens the gift and makes it look cheap.

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