AIBU to consider emigrating?

[movingabroad]

Ongoing conversations with DP about emigrating.

Various reasons for discussing this frequently, and now seriously. We have 2 primary school age DC (from a previous relationship) and one on the way.

We would ideally like to move to a country where English is one of the primary languages. DP is an artisan, I am an office worker with experience in recruitment / telesales / marketing. I speak some French and some Spanish.

What would we need to do to have any chance of emigrating successfully? AIBU to look into doing something like this, or is it pretty much impossible these days without an employer offering a job elsewhere in the world? Is it irresponsible to consider doing something like this with the DC?

Please offer up any success stories you may have!

We thought long and hard about Canada but finally decided that we (husband especially) wouldn't cope with being so far away from his parents. Instead, we moved to the UK to an area that gave us much more of what we wanted for our family. There's lots of practical advice out there but from what I remember you need to start saving money, make sure you are in an occupation the country wants, think about how transferable your qualifications are and think about how you will get a pension when you retire. Good luck.

Where are you considering? Australia and the US are both very difficult to get into, as you know. However having said that everywhere we go in Australia we have foreign taxi drivers and servers in restaurants etc and from what people i chat to tell me they're settled here with family etc (ie they're not on an under 30s tourist visa). So clearly you can get entry to Australia even if you're unskilled (not suggesting either you or your DP are btw, just pointing out that you obviously don't need to be a white collar professional sponsored by a big company or bank to emigrate put here).

What are you looking for (beyond English as a primary language?) low tax? A culture shock? Less stress? More space?

I think you needs to look at visa requirements for the countries you are interested in, that will narrow down the options

Thanks very much for responding - @Disfordarkchocolate - Canada would be the ultimate destination however I understand that it's pretty much impossible to get in. I think your advice is spot on, regarding saving and then working out pensions etc - DP definitely has skills which are unique and I would like to think mine are easily transferable. I totally get that he decided abroad was a step too far - though how wonderful that you compromised and moved within the UK to somewhere which suited you better as a family. Certainly something for us to consider too. He is very close to his family - mine are batshit hence the need to emigrate... how far did you move if not too outing?

@DexyMidnight - I understand from even the most basic research that getting into the US / Aus demands a lot of preparation, and is made easier with a job relocation. Stress (personal / family) is a factor, currently they're too close for comfort and we need a change. A big change.

Is the parent involved with the two kids from a previous relationship? Could make any mi e difficult?

We moved about an hour away from our old home. It's added 20 or so minutes to the journey each way to visit family but that's fine. It meant my husband could keep his job and he now works two days a week at the 'local office' when he walks to work.

I'm sorry I have no advice but am intrigued you say your DH is an artisan. What does that mean exactly?

Sadly @SD1978 he is, although it's having a noticeable impact on the DC and eventually he will lose interest (they're already losing interest in maintaining contact).

@Disfordarkchocolate - it sounds like you've hit the jackpot with your move, and it wasn't too much of an upheaval for you all.

@SilverySurfer - an artisan for me means someone skilled (sometimes with unique skills) in a specific craft / trade. Does that help?

I think it really depends on what you are looking for. Life is very different in different English speaking countries. Australia for example is extremely different to the UK despite being a colony until about a hundred years ago. I can’t really advise without knowing what it is you want out of your move first. If you are considering Australia I would suggest Adelaide. It’s much cheaper than nicer cities (although it’s nice in its own way but wouldn’t be my first choice) and it’s easier to get a visa if you are living there (they give you extra points or something). But I wouldn’t move out without finding a job first. It’s easier to make enough money in Australia but if you don’t make enough money you are really going to struggle, it’s jot a free for all like Britain.

Depending on what your DP's skills are, you could look at New Zealand. They have visa for people with skills that are in-demand, although I believe sometimes you still need to have a job offer also. Tbh, I think it will be difficult to migrate to most 'desirable' countries without a job offer. Depending on what happens post-Brexit, your best bet might be to try move somewhere else in Europe during the transition period (if there is one), when current Freedom of Movement rules would still apply.

Canada and Oz are both easier to settle long term in that the US. In all three cases the skills, qualifications and amount of money you have make the difference. Skills like nursing, social work etc while not well paid often give you more points.

It is easier to move with a job relocation, that is how we move but I do know people who start with a fresh job they get before moving out.

I know the definition of artisan, I was being nosier than that and wondered what your DH actually did. But I don't think you want to tell us so will say no more

Actually the advice upthread about trying to get into Europe (if / while you still can) seems v sensible.

What about the Netherlands? You'll all get by very well until you can pick up the language. Haarlem is a gorgeous little town (city?) and very artsy. Housing (to rent) is very cheap but buying is extortionate as its prime Amsterdam commuter belt.

You absolutely may be on to something there @DexyMidnight - I have always loved the Netherlands and it would be an ideal starting point given XFIL is local to there. Might not be so hard to convince XH.... The corporate experience I have just so happens to have an HQ there too which I know would work if I knocked on the door....

Thank you! Food for thought, certainly.

I would suggest Adelaide. It’s much cheaper than nicer cities (although it’s nice in its own way but wouldn’t be my first choice)

Here to defend Adelaide! It's MUCH nicer than Melbourne and Perth. It can't compete with Sydney but it has outstanding beaches, plenty of historical buildings (for Oz!) and the people are wonderful.

But again, Oz is very, very hard to get into if you're not a professional...there's a list of accepted professions/shortages and that makes it easier if you fit the bill.

You ain't going anywhere with a "artisan" husband unless you are paying.

Everyone should live abroad for a time if circumstances permit. The world is so big and interesting and it would be so limiting to stay for 8+ decades in the same place if it wasn't absolutely necessary.