we have a woodburning stove.
Our chimney is about a metre above the level of the guttering, so pretty much at chimney level.
One or two neighbours have them, theirs come out at chimney level.
In any of the gardens, you cannot smell smoke at all. Occasionally walking down the street, you might get a slight whiff. We burn ours every weekend, and there is, 99% of the time, no smoke smell at all in the garden, in the house, and no smoke coming in through windows etc
You sound as if you are making a lot more smoke than that. if she can smell it, your chimney isn't high enough. If smoke is going in through her windows, your chimney isn't high enough. If your garden or hers smells like a bonfire, even for that first half an hour, your chimney isn't high enough.
sorry, but I think a neighbour having a BBQ/bonfire every single weekend, that smelt enough to come in my windows, would be a pain. A wood burner is no different, which is why the chimneys have to be at chimney height, not at second storey height.