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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

How old should DD be before she travels on the tube by herself?

44 replies

newmum0808 · 03/03/2019 15:11

We live by a tube station (3 min walk) and so my DD is very comfortable using the tube regularly. However, from Sept she'll need to use the tube to get to secondary school. It's a three minute walk, two tube stops and then a ten minute walk to school the other side (bar on a busy, well lit road). She be 11 and 1 month. Is this too young? She's very sensible and we're about to let her walk to / from school which is a 15 minute walk.
I mentioned it to a couple of people and they looked shocked....
There is a bus service instead, but she'd need to walk ten minutes to get to the bus stop.....
Should I be worried?

OP posts:

Takethebuscuitandthesink · 03/03/2019 17:11

There isn’t really any perfect age, I suppose it depends on the child. But she should be fine I’d say when she starts secondary school.

mynameiscalypso · 03/03/2019 17:14

I travelled to school on the tube from the start of Year 7. No problems at all. There were always plenty of people from school on the tube too and when I got older, I used to keep an eye on the younger ones to help if they lost tickets / the tube went down etc. I think it will be absolutely fine.

Londonmummy66 · 03/03/2019 17:54

Mine started in the summer of year 6 (young in the year) - we had some ground rules like making sure that she always got on a carriage with a couple of ladies in it and the first couple of times I went to the platform and saw her on the train. We also ran through some "what to do if" to cover things like no cash on Oyster card/lost Oyster card alternative routes if the tube wasn't running or the end station was closed etc. Took the pressure off at the beginning of year 7 as she had got comfortable doing it on her own before changing schools.

fashiondevotee · 03/03/2019 17:57

On my daily commute, I see far younger kids travelling to school on the tube. Do a practice run, she'll be fine.

Epanoui · 03/03/2019 18:04

She will be fine. DD is in Y7 and does a five minute bus ride, ten minutes on the tube and a ten minute walk at the other end every day to school and back. It has been totally fine. Just do a few dry runs with her in the summer holidays so she's confident about the route.

Agree on having the 'what if' talk. And I would get her something like a Go Henry card so that in an emergency you can get some money to her easily. DD had a day when her Oystercard snapped in half and wouldn't work and being able to send her some money to pay for a ticket home was really helpful.

Lifecraft · 03/03/2019 18:08

In Japan, there is absolutely no culture of parents taking kids to school. From year 1, they go on their own. It's quite common to see 5/6 year old kids travelling on the Tokyo underground in their uniform with their little rucksacks, unaccompanied.

JustDanceAddict · 03/03/2019 18:10

I used it from 11 to get to secondary. My kids used it on their own to meet friends from about 13, as did i. Going to school on it, with friends in rush hour is different from using it socially as you’d be more on your own if problems occurred. I see it as pretty safe though and my 14 yr old uses it v confidently now.

MojoMoon · 03/03/2019 18:13

Tfl staff aren't going to frogmarch a sad 11 year old in school uniform who lost their zip card out of the station and leave them in the cold! So don't entirely deter her from asking them for help if she has a problem.

She does need to know alternative routes home if the tube is not running - bus or other tube routes.

The answer is that the right time is now, so she has some experience before starting in September. If you are taking the tube anywhere together, tell her she is in charge and allow her to lead you into the right platforms and trains without intervening.

Don't all year 7s in London travel to school on their own? They are loads of them on buses and trains alone. Did the people who sound horrified not live in London?

Epanoui · 03/03/2019 20:37

Tfl staff aren't going to frogmarch a sad 11 year old in school uniform who lost their zip card out of the station and leave them in the cold!

Of course they aren't. But also they are busy and not always that helpful. On the day of DD snapping her card in half, she asked the staff for help and one of them just waved vaguely at the ticket machines. At 11, she did not really feel confident to ask again, having been dismissed. Some of the TfL staff are great. Others not so much. Just like in any job I suppose.

jgjgjgjgjg · 03/03/2019 20:59

I don't see that there is any alternative from September. It would be mortifying for her to be taken to school by a parent when everyone else is going alone. So common sense says that you need to start letting her have a bit of independence in the summer to get used to it

Trills · 04/03/2019 09:19

tell her she is in charge and allow her to lead you into the right platforms and trains without intervening.

And to lead you to the WRONG platforms and trains, until she realises that you're going the wrong way, then calmly get off, look at a map and say "where are we now? where do we want to be? how do we get there from here?".

Lungelady · 04/03/2019 09:24

Mine did it from the summer between yr 6 and secondary school. My ds spent hours going from one end of a tube line to another and taking photos at each stop

waterrat · 04/03/2019 09:26

It's a very safe way to travel - could you verbalise/ think about what you worry might go wrong?

Children have far far less freedom and responsibility nowadays - I think using public transport is within the capacity of a child before they reach 11 generally.

I went to secondary school in London and this was a very normal way for kids to get to school!

waterrat · 04/03/2019 09:27

One of the enormous benefits of doing this sort of thing is learning how to ask for help from official figures ie. people working in tube stations. If you don't learn it at 11 - then you need to learn it later - it's a skill necessary for independence.

GirlRaisedInTheSouth · 04/03/2019 09:29

I would be less worried about the tube part than the walking to the tube part. My DS was flying unaccompanied to the US and back at that age, but I still drove him to school 😄.

MsMightyTitanAndHerTroubadours · 04/03/2019 09:35

just make sure if it's a shared line....like district/circle/metropolitan or one of those that crisscrosses/splits that she knows how to make sure she gets the right train

the circle and district line was my nemesis when I first moved to London :o

GregoryPeckingDuck · 04/03/2019 09:37

Is she comfortable confronting men who sexually assault her? That would be my biggest concern for a girl that age on the tube. Some eleven year olds will be perfectly fine but others might be too young.

XingMing · 04/03/2019 19:54

I am old and moved out of London a long time ago, but even then saw small children making simple journeys alone and in groups down the District Line in west London. Girls and boys. It would be sensible to prepare a pubescent girl for the odd pervert. You can't protect her, but you can equip her with the knowledge of what to do.

Wauden · 04/03/2019 21:25

You need to make her aware of predatory men and safeguarding issues.

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