Think I need some tough love here people. Six weeks ago came home from work and found OH plastered. He'd been drinking since he got up and drank beer and then most of a bottle of port I'd had left over from Christmas. We don't live together but he stays over a lot and I stay at his.
Turns out he has a secret drinking problem, we've been together two years and he can go out for dinner, gigs, with his mates etc have two drinks and go home. He never gets in fights or falls asleep in gutters but occasionally when he is on his own he will drink considerable amount. He says he has a self destruct "fuck it" button in his head that he will sometimes press.
He got drunk at my place because he wanted me to know about it. I initially told him I couldn't trust him because he'd effectively lied to me for the past two years. We were apart for two weeks. He's gone to AA and counselling and told his family in the interim.
A few months ago he had an episode of fast heart beat which went on for over 24 hoirs, he ended up in A&E and they couldn't find any cause. It resolved itself but he was sent for a heart scan. He wanted me to go with him so I did while we were separated. There is something not quite right with his heart, I could see it on the monitor. He hasn't been called for his appointment yet though. After that we started seeing each other again and he's been staying over. I still feel very unsure of whether this is what I should be doing. I feel like I want to support him but I'm still really numb and finding it hard to trust him. He is desperate to get back together and I miss how it was, we got on amazingly well and I thought I'd met the person I was going to get old with. I just can't get past the secrets he's been keeping from me though. Even though the drinking isn't every day, it's been every month or so for the whole period of our relationship. I want to forgive him but I'm finding it really hard. AIBU?