To think abuse just never ends

[skinkymalinki]

Thnaks to mumsnet I finally found the strength to leave my abusive ex after an 18 year marriage.
Ended up with him being convicted and a restraining order put in place.

He has not paid a penny for his twins since we split and now he is using every tactic to stall the CMS.
He is lying and doing everything he can to make my life difficult as he cannot control me in any other way any more.
I am worn out . Completely done with the fight ......but ....my children deserve what they are entitled to . I am so struggling with just my income . Things are so tight I don’t eat some evenings .

Will he ever just be a decent and normal father ?

It doesn't sound like it skinky. I brought both my DS up without a penny being contributed by their fathers. It's not uncommon. These men treat it like a game. I just washed my hands of it all. No help to you, I know.

Some men do not deserve to be called men. Tight arse ( trying to think of a really bad animal here) blobfish, more likely.

Try to set your budget with no input from him so any money you do get , is a bonus, and he has no control over you.
Veggie meals are cheaper, shopping at certain times of the day in the supermarket will see cheaper fresh produce.
Our local green grocery has a discount table with stuff that is about to be thrown out.
When all else fails, pretend you are on ‘i’m A celebrity ‘ and eat rice and beans.
Good luck 💐

Thanks .
I go to the supermarket at discount time and have made all the economical choices I can . Never go out or buy food and drinks out etc etc.
It is just the fact he won’t pay his assessed amount and is stalling over and over and has told the girls (teens ) he shouldn’t have to pay as he doesn’t want me to have a social life.
Have sent solicitors letters etc to tell him not to discuss with them but I can’t afford that now.
I am just tired and feel I will never be free of his abusive behaviour

Maintenance isnt meant to be relied on so best to accept you might never get it. Fwiw my ex hasnt paid maintenance in 7/8 years. Ive given up now.

Lots of hugs OP. I dont have anything useful to say but I feel for you. Hope things get better.

Try shopping in an asian grocery store if you have one near you. Same things are a lot of times cheaper in there.