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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Is this the most meaningless phrase ever?

23 replies

BiscuitDrama · 02/03/2019 22:05

“I’m sorry we argued.”

Sounds like an apology, but isn’t. AIBU to find it annoying?

OP posts:
CinammonPorridge · 02/03/2019 22:06

I would say it's a start.

JohnnyMcGrathSaysFuckOff · 02/03/2019 22:08

Mmm I'm sorry you feel that way is worse imo.

Saying you're sorry you had an argument with someone implies you regret it got to that stage but still recognises it was a two way thing.

Saying you're sorry someone elss has particular feelings is just massively fucking passive aggressive.

FiveLittlePigs · 02/03/2019 22:09

It's a way back into discussion (hopefully without further arguing).

Samind · 02/03/2019 22:09

I'd say I'm sorry for what I said. Not that we argued. Saying we argued places emphasis on both parties when both should apologise separately

IWannaSeeHowItEnds · 02/03/2019 22:11

For me it's when a person you love dies and someone says that time is a great healer or that God wanted them or some other shite.

ItsAllGone19 · 02/03/2019 22:13

Yabu

Acknowledging you're sorry that things reached argument stage is a way of calming things down without admitting either party was in the wrong...it can diffuse a situation which is always helpful when emotions are running high and neither of you will back down.

Bigonesmallone3 · 02/03/2019 22:27

Sounds like an apology to me..
Especially if it's from both parties

wigglypiggly · 02/03/2019 22:30

I'm sorry you feel that way is the most pathetic self centred non apology anyone has ever said to me.

PurpleDaisies · 02/03/2019 22:31

It’s a politician’s non-apology apology.

user1474894224 · 02/03/2019 22:40

What's wrong with it? It's an apology about the fact there was an argument - without the other person talking about the content of the argument - which they might not agree with you about. - If someone says it to me then I would be ok with it.

recrudescence · 02/03/2019 23:06

I agree OP - it’s like Corbyn condemning all bombings.

Myfoolishboatisleaning · 02/03/2019 23:08

I think the most useless phrase ever is “lived experience”. Fucks me right off.

hmwhatsmynameagain · 02/03/2019 23:20

It is a valid response when you believe you are right but want to maintain some kind of civil relationship

We do not agree, but I hold no bad feeling - is the same statement in different words

BartonHollow · 02/03/2019 23:21

I'm sorry you feel that way is the worst

A friend of mine I've lost touch with did that to me many moons ago and it showed me who she was

janetforpresident · 02/03/2019 23:25

I am sorry of my opinion offends you

I am sorry its not what you want to hear

SandyY2K · 02/03/2019 23:29

It's a start and YABU. You come across as thinking the other person is entirely wrong. Which is of course your right.

WhiteDust · 02/03/2019 23:37

YANBU. It's not an apology, it's condescending.

mamansnet · 02/03/2019 23:53

YANBU. I recently had a "I'm sorry you overheard me slagging you off".

Not "Sorry I slagged you off".

BartonHollow · 02/03/2019 23:57

Lol what a twat

Like the cheater the other weak who was mostly sorry they got caught

propertywoe · 02/03/2019 23:59

But sometimes you can argue when both parties believe they are right. I would apologies if an argument got overheated but I will not apologise for what I said if I believed in it. I have met far too many people who are stubborn that their view is the only view and will sulk until they get an apology.

keepforgettingmyusername · 03/03/2019 00:33

Agree with @propertywoe
No point pretending you've changed your mind to keep the peace, what does that solve?
Just agree to disagree.

BiscuitDrama · 03/03/2019 08:03

Ha, so maybe I am a bit U.

OP posts:
wanderings · 03/03/2019 08:28

"I'm sorry, but I never apologise!" (Homer Simpson). Sorry Just kidding.

Arguing in itself is not a crime: being willing to listen to each other and argue until you hammer out a compromise is healthy behaviour. In fact, I think that not arguing or airing your view can be worse, because one partner is then resentful, which might cause problems later.

In my view, "sorry" is quite meaningless if it's overused. Remember the bankers saying "sorry" in 2008? I think it all depends on how it's said, and what happens next. "Sorry" casually uttered because it's what you were trained to say as a child (or instructed to say by your PR agent) is very different from meaning it. (If I had my way, I'd say the same about "please" and "thank you"; I tend to reserve them for when I really mean them, but that's another thread.)

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