To find the phrase work friends are just work friends depressing

[Witchofzog]

I have just seen this repeatedly on another thread today but also on lots of other threads in the past. I have moved around a lot so aside from 1 old school friend and an ex partner who I am still close to, my best friends are 2 women I have worked with for the past 5 years. We have helped each other out in practical and emotional ways, have stayed over at each other's houses (I live a distance from them)

For me, the main way I have to make friends is at work but the common theme seems to be that work friends are not real friends. Do most people feel like this too?

Most of my closest friends I met through work but they are genuine friends we would meet outside of work not just chat in work.

I recently joined a new job which is an hour drive away and am purposely not making friend friends with anyone. It’s nothing personal but it would be hard for me to stay in contact if left and to do nights out as so far away!

You can make friends at work that become life long friends (2 of my bridesmaids I met at work) but they have to be open to being friends outside of work.

I have very close friends who started as work friends but since I've left I still see them regularly for days and nights out, we text regularly and one work friend is actually my best friend now, we've been each others bridesmaids etc.

I do also have and have had work friends though who are great people but since moving to other jobs I've not met up with them or socialised at all other than to chat via Facebook at times.

I think it depends, but it’s not all one way or the other. I have made a few close friends in jobs over the years who I would consider ‘real’ friends, but a lot of the people I’m friendly with at work I wouldn’t necessarily consider friends in the same way. We have a laugh, a good chat, a glass of wine once in a while but I wouldn’t really open up to them about my problems or anything like that. It’s just not that kind of friendship.

When I’ve left jobs or my work friends move on I would say I don’t keep in touch with the majority, nothing wrong with that - I’m a big believer in certain friendships working for periods of your life but they run their course.

I have fiends I met during work who are now just that, friends we do stuff together etc. I also have friends who I only see at work and would not necessarily discuss personal stuff with but would still class as a friend in that I like their company at work

It's not that I don't like them , it's just that I feel I spend the majority of my week with them so when I'm not in work I'm just not interested

I think it might depend on the type of job you do. I can go for weeks without seeing a friend face to face at work. We'll be in different offices/ out with customers etc

TBH I don't really get much time to socialise: young child + aged parent = not a lot of time, so at this stage of life I don't have the kind of acquaintances outside work that would naturally turn into deeper relationships over time.

I’ve got ‘work friends’ who I hang out with at work, have lunch with, enjoy chatting to and doing work drinks with.

Then I have ‘friends who I met at work’ who are the above plus we do non work related things in the evenings and weekends and remain friends after people leave the workplace.

I have met most of my like minded friends through work or volunteering. I have a lot more in common with them than friends I went to school with.

I think it definitely can depend on whether your job is a chosen job or one you have fallen into. If most of your colleagues have chosen the same career then you probably have things in common to begin with.

I don't think it does. I work in a role/organisation I specifically chose and I don't really feel the need to be 'friends' with the people with whom I work. It's nice to get on, have a bit of a chat sometimes and the odd team social but generally my work and my private life are separate because that's how I want them. Of all my friends, a few are people I've met initially through work, but our friendship very much developed, and remained, outside work, but the majority are not.

If you want to be friends with work people then great. It shouldn't be expected, however.

Aw that is sad. I've made lovely friends at work. Not many but quality.

I worked with a group of people for twenty years until we all went our own ways ten years ago. We started working together when we were in our early twenties and went through life’s big events together. We went through some tough times at work and it was the kind of job where you needed support from each other. They are all very special to me, more family than real family as one of them says. Not all women either.

We meet up regularly- four of us had lunch last weekend.

I think you can become friends with work friends.
Other will just stay "work friends". They are not the same things.

For many people, being at work means putting on a "work mask" for lack of a better word. You have to mind what you say, you don't tell them what you think and you keep a lot of things private. Things can get awkward when you get promoted and your work friends are not. I think it's easy to become friends when you are in a certain position from the start, but when it changes, it becomes really awkward.