To only have one real friend

[GoogleBroughtMeHere]

Does anyone else have only one or a few proper friends?

I feel like everyone around me has large groups of friends that see each other and speak all the time.

I have one real friend who's been there since school, and through a lot together and other than DH and my parents, she's the only person I really speak to!

I've gone through an awful time recently with fertility problems and recurrent miscarriages and I just found that all my other 'friends' just seemed to completely abandon ship when things got a bit hard. To be honest, I feel like never bothering with any of them again and just accepting that my friendship circle will always be quite small.

Is there anyone else who doesn't have many friends? I mean friends you know will be there through the shit parts rather than just people to have a bit of a night out with every now and then?

I was beginning to think maybe it was me but now I'm wondering if most large circles of friends aren't actually as close or as caring as they make out to be? Its definitely been my experience anyway!

I'm mid 40s and don't really have any friends. I didn't have children until mid 30s and by that time most of my old friends children were 10 already and they didn't really see me or visit as I'd just had a baby. Then I had another baby 10 years later mid 40s and same thing happened I'd had another baby and again friends didn't bother as they were all going out again and going their own thing etc
I have a friend that pops over every couple months but doesn't text in between

I do think that there are different types of friends that provide different types of support but also that the dynamic with a friend can change over time. Things don't always stay the same.

I have a small group of very close friends but with the demands of life and living in different areas, we cannot always support each other as much as we like although whatsapp has helped with that. I have a less close group of local friends and neighbours who I can't completely open up to but provide enough warmth and companionship to see me through some of the tricky times.

From a different angle I have been that one friend to someone. We are still close friends now but have had our ups and downs as her relying just on me was draining not just emotionally but also time wise. I suspect she realised that and widened her circle. I'm now the annoyed one when she doesn't reply to my messages quickly .

@GoogleBroughtMeHere

I am sorry to hear about your friends. Its dreadful behaviour and they should have been there for you, and as you say asking you even if they knew you wouldn't come and sending supportive texts. Small things matter. Some people are terrible at emotional situations although this is still not an excuse.

I had one bridesmaid at my wedding (my cousin, who happens to be my best pal) and I had a few friends of friends comment how that was odd, but to me it was right. We have been thick as thieves since we were children (we are just three weeks apart) and we have been close constantly through teens, university, 20s and 30s.
I don’t think you don’t need to have a big friendship group, having someone special is enough. I couldn’t be without my cousin and whilst I know lots of people, whom I’m fond of, I only have one really close friend

A pyschiatrist told me many years ago that most adults can only sustain about 4 " close friendships". That people who reported more than that likely didn't have very deep ties. Make of that what you will. It has stayed with me. I have 3 close friends 1 from primary school, one from sixth form college and 1 from when Dc1 was a baby (he is 15). I am also v close to dsis and I dont have time or emotional capacity for more.

Not
One
Single
Friend

hopefulhalf yes I can imagine that being true!