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AIBU?

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Original poster

It's Not Lost, I Just Don't Know Where It Is

18 replies

MaggieAndHopey · 02/03/2019 07:58

As said to me by my 11 year old daughter yesterday morning when her school coat wasn't in the house. My first reaction was to scoff mightily, this seeming like blatant dodging the issue tactics on her part. But after she'd gone off to school with no coat on, I did wonder whether she might have a point. Is there a practical - or maybe even an ethical - distinction between an item being lost, and its location being merely unknown?! Maybe 'lost' to her implies something being gone forever, like her last two school coats. Whereas this coat might be in some kind of holding phase, in one of maybe three possible locations, and would only be truly lost if she couldn't find it in the corner of the playground or in lost property or in the class cloakroom.

Is she being unreasonable?

(she did eventually find the coat, if that helps... it was where she left it)

OP posts:
Forgotmycoat · 02/03/2019 08:02

She seems mighty philosophical for her age. She may have a future as a barrister...

FiveLittlePigs · 02/03/2019 08:21

She has a point! I sometimes don't remember where I left something but I know it's not ”lost” Grin

Drives DP up the wall as he believes that everything is lost if it's not exactly where he thought it would be. Even if it's a few inches away, it's lost. Confused

FiveLittlePigs · 02/03/2019 08:23

Saying that, I do have the ability to ”see” where things are. DP will say ”have you seen my xxxxx” and I'll be able to tell him exactly where it is. Grin

blackteaplease · 02/03/2019 08:25

This is how my kids operate, and to my eternal frustration generally is true. I am a high stressy organiser and like everything to be in its place but the little blighters scoff at my systems. I think I need to be more like my dc.

TheWildRumpyPumpus · 02/03/2019 08:27

I had that this week, needing paperwork for a DBS application. My passport, birth certificate etc weren't lost - I just couldn’t have told you where in my erratic filing system they were located until I’d looked through the whole thing!

Littlepond · 02/03/2019 08:35

Oh there is a definite difference between something being lost and it’s whereabouts unknown.
I lost my coat because I left it in the pub and when I rang them, it wasn’t there.
I’m not sure where my keys are right now but they are not lost because I know they are in the house somewhere - I used them to get in last night and haven’t left since. Just not sure where I put them down.
“Lost” is much more serious than “misplaced”.

Disclaimer: I am super disorganised and spend my life looking for misplaced items and frequently use the phrase “it’s not lost, I just don’t know where it is” 😂

Pascha · 02/03/2019 08:37

I think I subscribe to her way of thinking. I am, by nature, absent-minded and frequently put stuff down without taking note of where which drives dh a bit mad but it's almost always somewhere logical if I stop and think for a bit. Usually in one of three likely places. I have routines in place to find my keys or phone quickly. I need to work on remembering the moment they get put down.

It's not lost, I just don't know where it is. Smile

EnsignRoLaren · 02/03/2019 08:42

She is totally right. Schrodinger’s Coat.

SandyY2K · 02/03/2019 08:50

I know what she means actually. I sometimes know something isn't lost, but I've put it safely away and can't remember where.

Nacreous · 02/03/2019 08:55

I have insisted on this difference since I was a child, and still regularly don't know where things are. I almost always find them though.

I've solved some of my losing things problems by having multiples of things I use in multiple places. E.g. I have kitchen scissors, and then scissors with the craft stuff, scissors in my sewing and mending box, and scissors with the wrapping paper.

Similar logic applies to Sharpies, keys, notepads etc.

ColeHawlins · 02/03/2019 08:59

I know exactly what she means.

Original poster
MaggieAndHopey · 02/03/2019 09:07

Schrodinger's Coat! I like that. Thanks guys - seems like the majority view is SINBU! I might tell her that mumsnet agrees with her.

OP posts:
IWantChocolates · 02/03/2019 09:17

I can do that, FiveLittlePigs! DH just asks and I can tell him usually.

I currently can't find one of my wedding certificates, the full one. But I know it's in the house so it's not 'lost', I just can't remember where I put it!

Spidey66 · 02/03/2019 09:46

As another one who is often disorganised I know exactly what she means!

MountPheasant · 02/03/2019 09:59

Lost to me means ‘I’ve checked everywhere it can possibly be.’ If it’s not where I thought it was but I haven’t searched then I ‘don’t know where it is.’ Definite difference.

Also love schrodingers coat!

AngeloMysterioso · 02/03/2019 10:25

Ladies (and gentlemen) may I present to you... my most recent passport application.

Written by a (then) 28 year-old adult.

It's Not Lost, I Just Don't Know Where It Is
headinhands · 02/03/2019 10:51

Jesus, if everything I'd have to put a bit of effort into locating is properly lost then I'm utterly fucked.

Original poster
MaggieAndHopey · 02/03/2019 11:16

That is perfect, @AngeloMysterioso!

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