to be unsure of whether moving here is a good idea

[JojoMojo1]

Hi all, name changed as details may be identifying. Apologies for the long post! I'm trying to shorten it!

DD is 21 years old, suffers with mental illness (think generalised anxiety disorder), and at the moment is not working. She has been offered a flat by our council, away from the family home. She is able to live alone, and the flat is very close to our home so I am able to help her out.

It is a relatively new built block, 2nd floor with no lift. All of the front doors are set around a relatively small enclosed hallway. The flat itself is ideal for her needs. There are 4 flats on the floor, 2 with families, and 2 one bedroom flats.

We got talking to a neighbour, lovely lady with children. I just want to state I don't know how much of this is true/exaggerated.

She told us about the previous tenant being harassed by the next door neighbour, who apparently is a drug user and suffers from schizophrenia. From what I understand, she is away in hospital for months at a time, but when she is home, she bangs on the neighbours doors at night for hours asking for money for food, stands and sleeps naked on the only communal stairway, but the most concerning thing, is that apparently she climbs over from her balcony to this one (the two are adjoining), and tries to get in to the flat. Or she knocks on the front door being asked to be let in, so she can access her flat via the balcony, as she as lost her keys . The balconies are only separated by a 3ft wall. Neighbour says police regularly have to move her, and police, social services, and housing are all aware (spoke to housing officer afterwards, who said we do not have to accept the offer, but she seemed aware of all of this, though cant divulge any information due to data protection...).

According to the neighbour, she has a boyfriend (from abroad) who was either accused or convicted of murdering numerous girls and has been in prison (neighbour said she knows this as the ladies mother told neighbour to be careful). The boyfriend doesn't live there, but stays regularly, and is also a drug user. The front door to this flat has clearly been replaced, and a few months ago armed police stormed in. I know that this part is true, as we witness this from outside ourselves, as our house is down the street. At the time we didn't know anything about the flats.

My concern is, we need to make a decision by Monday morning. The flat itself is ideal, and the proximity to us is ideal, as I can no longer drive, and so I can support DD when she needs it.

What do you think? The neighbour said she calls police regularly due to this lady banging on her door and blocking the stairs, and looking at local crime rates, it is showing calls every month, in those flats, for public order, and antisocial behaviour. She said she isn't trying to scare anyone, but just to make us aware, so as not to open the door to her etc.

I don't know if it is wise to refuse a property that would otherwise be ideal, but my gut feeling is telling me otherwise. DD has panic attacks, and will not open the door to anyone unless she can see their ID (video intercom).

Again I don't know how much or what is being exaggerated, but a lot seems to line up. Of course I am not blasting this lady at all, I am well aware of how people can suffer, but there is no way DD would be able to cope with all of the above. She likes the flat herself, but is now scared by what the neighbour said.

What do you think and what would you do?

That would be a hard no. The council have to find more appropriate housing.

I would raise your concerns with local housing officer, they would have these incidents on record.

Thank you for the replies. Housing officer says there is nothing available, however we don't mind waiting a while longer, DD has been on the waiting list for a couple of years now. Apparently they can't talk about incidents specifically since DD doesn't have a social worker for them to liaise with.

Wait longer. This is not going to make life better, she will be worse. However, you don’t know who would end up next door in any situation - unless it’s a detached house in the middle of nowhere.

Be careful. If you turn down something the council declares suitable they can remove her from the list.

You can get shit neighbours anywhere. And they come and go. If the flat is perfect in every other way then I would go for it. X

Thats what I was thinking, the next property could be worse, in terms of the flat itself and the neighbours. Potentially there could be issues wherever she moves, at least with this flat we are close by if anything.

The council has a 3 strikes and your out sort of rule, and if she refuses 3 properties she is suspended for 6 months.

I just know if DD is inside and she sees lady on her balcony she will freak out, same as if she is trying to leave and naked lady is blocking her way! We were thinking of somehow asking for the balcony wall to be extended somehow with some sort of screening, but don't know if this would upset neighbour and cause issues!

At least if DD is trying to get in the flat, and lady is blocking her entry or something, she can just walk over to ours. If there are similar issues elsewhere, she couldn't. Its all a lot of what ifs at this point! If DD didn't have her issues, it wouldn't concern me so much, as we are actually so fortunate to be offered housing for her in the first place.

You have to think as well that if the neighbour causes that many problems she may be evicted/rehoused soon herself. I know it seems like a bigger problem but as you say you don’t know how much is true and it’s very close to where you live. I’d accept.

I'd accept and see how things pan out. The neighbour may well of made half that stuff up, maybe someone she knows wants the place.

Not sure about where you live (I'm in London), but the effect of less and less availability of council housing in my area has meant that it is now mostly reserved for the most troubled and needy.

I live opposite a council block and over the past 10 years there has been a gradual change, it used to be families/older people with the odd person who I'd describe as high need. Nowadays most residents have a mental health condition, a drug issue or a disability, or a mixture of those. My point being, that if the situation is the same where you are, wherever your daughter is offered a property there are likely to be what you might call "problem" residents, that's part and parcel of council housing these days, and therefore I'd accept.

It would be a hard no from me.

As someone who has anxiety and is currently privately renting in a shitty area with antisocial wankers I can tell you it will make her worse. We moved here through necessity on a 12 month tenancy (quick move due to jobs and limited properties available). It has been the longest 12 months of my life. I am constantly on edge waiting for my twatty neighbours to do something. We are moving in a couple of weeks and I am counting down the seconds.

It is very normal in this day and age for 21 year olds to be living at home. Is there a particular reason she needs to move out?

I am thinking that wherever she goes, there may be some issues. Had we not spoken to the neighbor, we would have said yes immediately. It’s just hearing some of the things is quite scary, but again could be exaggerated. I can’t imagine someone causing so many issues and who is so at risk of harming themselves or others would be living independently, and for a few years so far!