So I've been with my DH for 10 years and never had an amazing relationship with his family they are so self absorbed and selfish and just generally hard to get on with my MIL doesn't speak to her own mum, dad, sister , granddaughter, or brother and sister in law just to get you an idea on the type of person she is as it's all the others peoples fault ! She is the one I have most issues with but in general they never phone or visit us just expect everything to be revolved round them ! Just to give you an idea on the level of selfishness there are many occasions but two that always stick out to me one was when I received a call from my husband's boss saying he'd collapsed and gone down a flight of stairs and was taken of unconscious in an ambulance I was an 1 hour away and was speeding my way there her and his dad would have been 30 minutes away I phoned and told them and all they said was ok let us know how he is when you get there and didnt even phone to check he was ok in the evening still pisses me off to think about it now ! And as she never calls my husband once left it 3 weeks without calling her (usually speak a couple of times a week) and she never called and her response when he called " I thought you were dead " she always didn't visit my son untill nearly 2 weeks after he was born the list is endless of all the selfish crap she does anyway this is the latest saga and I feel like it's the final straw for me !
So my DS and her daughter's son have birthday a few days apart so sometimes plans clash which I get but they never try to arrange around its just what they're doing is what they're doing. Anyway I hadn't heard anything about plans for my DS cousins birthday so I'd messaged the family saying we were arranging a party for my DS on this particular Saturday I got a message back saying sorry can't come it's the other little boy's birthday party that day to which I knew nothing about I wasn't even pissed they couldn't come I'm so used to the shitty excuses now I was pissed off that we hadn't even been invited to this bowling party she was doing and when my DH asked why she said oh it wasn't a big deal it's only a family thing ! Which I think made it ten times worse as I thought well what the hell are we then !? They had also apparently thought we were away as we went away after that weekend but thought no message to ask and we never said we were away those days ! I just feel like for me its the final straw of crap that I can take from them and despite the fact she promised to see my DS for his birthday the following week it's near on a month on later and all he's recieved for his birthday is excuses I'm still so mad my husband barely said anything to them and had just carried on as normal as he said both me and him have spoke to them about shit before and it just cause months of not speaking and got no where in the end ! I just honestly can't be round them anymore and tbh don't want my son to be as feel like they are massive let downs and hard to explain why to children ! Anyway me and my husband have argued quite a lot over it (annoying that he will argue with me not them ) but I have said he can see them but arrange to without me I get it's his family I just honestly don't feel I can bite my tounge any harder without biting it off I've spoken to her before over similar things not seeing my son and how it makes us feel and she just doesn't care I've never met anyone so selfish but my husband doesn't want to lose contact which I get just finding it hard to manage now ! AIBU ?