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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To feel offended when people unfollow me on instagram?

45 replies

catchet · 01/03/2019 07:50

My friend was telling me about this app that tells you who has unfollowed you on instagram. I’m not a seriel poster, maybe once every two weeks when I go somewhere nice/ see a nice building etc. My pictures are good but obviously not outstanding.

Since having the app, I’ve seen quite a few people unfollow me. Sure whatever, but a few of these people have been friends. One I would consider close friends. It just feels like a big fk you, I don’t care about you. I know that’s ridiculous but that’s how it feels.

It was my birthday recently, and I put two pictures on the story part of the app, one of my birthday cake, and one of me smiling with a glass of bubbly.

Then next day I saw that one close friend unfollowed and then two others I considered to be on good terms with, who I usually chat to etc.

I know this is pathetic, but AIBU?

OP posts:

Vulpine · 01/03/2019 09:41

Step away from the insta!

TeaforTwoBiscuitOrThree · 01/03/2019 09:42

Maybe time to step away from Social Media :--)

ShadyLady53 · 01/03/2019 09:48

But then I see the “no social media” superiority lot are out in force

How is stating a fact, that you aren’t on SM, automatically a statement of superiority? I don’t see myself as superior to anyone. I’m just not on SM .

JacquesHammer · 01/03/2019 09:51

How is stating a fact, that you aren’t on SM, automatically a statement of superiority? I don’t see myself as superior to anyone. I’m just not on SM

I wasn’t actually referring to you. NOW I think that though!

popsadaisy · 01/03/2019 09:53

It would bother me as well as much as I would like to say it wouldn't. This is why social media is so damaging to people's MH I feel x

outpinked · 01/03/2019 09:54

Sometimes they have actually deleted their account. I used to have that app and was upset when a close friend unfollowed me but she’d actually just removed her Instagram.

Anyway, if the app knocks your self esteem then delete it. It isn’t a reflection of real life. I unfollowed my tattooist a few months ago because he got a new girlfriend and kept posting incessant photos of her. It’s boring, I didn’t want to see her face on my feed most days and I followed him to see the tattoos.

outpinked · 01/03/2019 09:55

Should add that I would still go to him for my tattoos, just didn’t like his posts anymore. Simple.

Hahaha88 · 01/03/2019 10:03

I unfollowed a good friend on Instagram because I was fed up of the way she posted multiple pictures of the same event (say a trip to the park) separately instead of doing a multi pic upload. Because this clogged up my feed and it became rather annoying. I still look at her Instagram (as she has it open) but if I couldn't I still would have unfollowed. She posts 99.9% of it on fbook too anyway. It didn't mean I wanted to be her friend any less.
Another friend of mine struggles with infertility, so if one of her friends gets pregnant she unfollows them. Again it didn't mean she didn't want to be their friend anymore, just not see things that affect her mental health. She actually did the same to me during my pregnancy, and my son is her godson!

Social media is not a reflection of or replacement for real life friendship.

BlueSkiesLies · 01/03/2019 10:46

You numpty, why would you torture yourself with something that shows you who has unfollowed you??

BlueSkiesLies · 01/03/2019 10:48

I unfollow people where I don’t get enjoyment from their posts. Doesn’t mean I don’t still like to hand out with them in person though! But I don’t actually want to see a thousand photos of your baby every day...

Confusedbeetle · 01/03/2019 10:50

And this is why I came off both Facebook and Instagram

UbbesPonytail · 01/03/2019 11:53

Those apps are meant for business really, no good will come from using them for a personal account. Also, IG hates them and it may end up with you being banned/shadowbanned etc as it isn’t in the spirit of community.

My SIL unfollowed all family members about a year ago. I only know because she apologised. Didn’t bother me in the slightest! She just wanted it for people she doesn’t get to see.

notacooldad · 01/03/2019 12:13

I delete people all the time and they do it to me. Seriously no big deal.
I deleted a lot of acquaintances that I used to know from my son's junior sports team. He is 23 now, the people live in different counties, son no longer plays that sport and I'll probably never see them again. Some deleted me first. Seriously not a problem.
I deleted a friend recently. Her husband is in a music duo that plays local pubs but the post from her are ridiculous, you would think Freddie Mercury was a live and well in Burnley if you read them. Things like ' The crowd screamed for more last night at.... ..., so disappointed when ( name of group finished) or the crowds stopped everything and was mesmerised by ( name of group member ) played solo.
She even claims that a band member is better than Eric Clapton in his hey day. Too be honest it gets tedious.
I deleted a colleague a few weeks ago because every post was ' I had low energy this morning , thankfully I ate this bag of shit ( what ever the gimmick is called) and I have enough energy to keep me, a busy mum of two, going until lunch time'
She did ask why I deleted her !

notacooldad · 01/03/2019 12:19

I was going to add that I did delete a friend who I do like when I see him but get tired of his posts. He is 2nd generation Irish and was born in the Midlands.Every post was anti English and about his ' home''.I have Ben dying to say 'if you hate us so much why did you marry an English woman, gave your kids here and what about your grand kids reading your posts. If you hate us so much why haven't you gone back to live in the country you love and leave the one you hate. You have been an adult for over 50 years.' It was easier to delete than fall out!

motheroftinydragons · 01/03/2019 12:53

I would come off SM if it bothers you so much. I was a bit WTF the other day when I noticed someone from school (I am mid-thirties) had actually gone so far as to not to just 'unfriend' me but as block me on FB! I've no idea why, I'm pretty inoffensive and never comment on things like politics etc but I know she has because I can see posts she's tagged in but her name isn't emboldened. When I checked (out of sheer curiosity) the friends list of someone I know she's friends with she doesn't appear.

Not bothered but I did wonder what I'd done to offend her so much Ho hum. It's not real life and maybe your friend just isn't interested in what you post. I've unfollowed loads of people I like because I don't share the same interests as them and I find their posts boring.

Readysteadygoat · 01/03/2019 15:53

Mute is your friend here. No need to unfollow anyone you don't want to see on Instagram anymore

Tara336 · 01/03/2019 16:02

I can understand why you might be upset. I’ve unfriended people who have posted things that most people find offensive (think Britain First etc) I’ve also been unfriended by a relative which is a bit sad but I have come to the conclusion it’s no great loss as she appears to be a grade A idiot. Try not to worry

SilverySurfer · 01/03/2019 16:30

Nothininmenoggin
Precisely why I'm not on any SM. I can count my best friends on one hand I don't need their approval on any other level.

This, with bells on.

notacooldad · 01/03/2019 16:55

Precisely why I'm not on any SM. I can count my best friends on one hand I don't need their approval on any other level
But you are on social media.Mumsnet is part of SM.
People talk about FB, insta, Twitter etc as if it is automatically harmful.
It isn't. It is just a resource or a tool,same way that a knife or a fire are. Both can be used for good or bad.
I love Fb. I follow certain record labels, clubs and venues I go to, magazines that I subscribe to, closed fb pages about mountain conditions, biking, hiking, skiing and travelling.
I just have a handful of mates that are decent and my family.
I've no time for drama. I make FB work for me rather than it being something that would cause me anguish
I can't understand why others get so involved and upset over it.

SilverySurfer · 01/03/2019 17:46

I don't consider MN to be SM but if you wish to class it as such that's your choice.

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