To go or not to go?

[Magicmonster]

Sorry it’s a WWYD rather than an AIBU. My dad died (rather unexpectedly) this week. I travelled to where he lived (abroad) to say my goodbyes, support my mum and help arrange the funeral. The funeral is a week from now. I have two young children back at home (preschoolers) who my husband is looking after. I know they miss me (and the youngest is prob confused as to where I’ve gone as I’ve never left him before). But I also know my mum could do with me staying here until the funeral (even though she insists she would be ok if I went back). So, to stay with my mum until the funeral or to go back and see the kids for a few days first? I’m so torn. WWYD?

Can your DH bring the kids out? (obviously might not be practical). Very tricky situation dies your mum have any other close family or friends for support? If not I'd probably stay.

What would your dad have wanted? In my case no question - he would have wanted his grandkids prioritised, as would my mum

Firstly, my condolences to you on the loss of your dad.

I would stay with my mum. The kids may miss you for a few days but will soon forget it once you are back. It won't damage them in the long term. Will probably help them not to become too clingy.

Your mum might feel she needs to say she'll be okay whether she needs you or not.

Do you Skype/face time? Maybe do that with your kids while there and do it with your mum when you are back to help her through her grief and to enjoy seeing her grandchildren.

Stay. Your dc are safe and secure at home with their dad, although of course theyll be missing you but your mum needs you more right now.

Depends how long but I think I would stay with my mum. Your kids are with their dad and safe. Maybe they're enjoying some dad time on their own.

DC's are resilient. I'd stay with my DM. Your DH could bring them to see GM and you can all be together as a family. I guess you could do with support too.
I'm very sorry for your loss

I would be missing my DH and DC but I would be staying with my DM over this very difficult time.

Thanks so much for the views, I think it will help me to crystallise my thoughts. My husband is bringing kids out next week just before the funeral (and they will stay for a week) but my mum doesn’t want the children and my husband here earlier as she doesn’t think she will be up for hosting before then (and they would have to stay here with her really if they did come). She has quite a lot of friends and family who are all trying to rally round her but no one else would be staying in the house so I worry about her all alone at home surrounded by dad’s things.

If the kids are safe and well with their dad I would stay.

Can't you find alternative accommodation?
It's not an easy time for anyone. Airbnb? Anything?
I think it would be good for you and you need support too.

I would stay, subject to being absolutely sure your DM wants you to. We all deal with grief differently and there is just a chance she wants some time alone to fall apart in private before the funeral. You know her best of course but thought it was worth mentioning. So sorry for your loss OP

Thanks hiding. I was wondering that too. But she assures me she doesn’t have a preference between me staying and going. I am leaning towards staying anyway. Will check with her one last time when she gets out the bath as I need to get flights sorted whatever is happening.

Just wanted to say thanks everyone for your views. I decided to stay with my mum and it’s def the right decision.