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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To feel absolute horror (light hearted)

25 replies

TheFirstRuleOfFightClub · 28/02/2019 21:54

Chatting away to my 6 year old son, I absent mindedly put my hand into his book bag and pulled out 'The Magic Key'!

For the love of Biff, Chip and Kipper, I have been through this shit twice before, how can this series still be in print.

For all of you that know, wish me luck!

OP posts:
MitziK · 28/02/2019 21:57

Oh God, I am so sorry.

I suffered the books twice. And then I volunteered in a school years later, only to be asked to do reading with some individual kids whose parents weren't able to read every night with them due to 'work pressures'. which might have been true, but I doubt it.

They all brought their books in to me happily. And every single one had a fucking Magic Key book.

WitBeyondMeasure · 28/02/2019 21:58

I'm with you, I hate those fucking kids and their imaginations. Their appropriately phonetically challenging named friends make me want to start drinking before reading time.

Judashascomeintosomemoney · 28/02/2019 21:59

Biff, Chip and Kipper? Blimey, Mrs Robinson didn’t visit the MN Baby Names threads before deciding on that lot did she?

Gindrinker43 · 28/02/2019 21:59

Just imagine what it must be like for the teachers !

LadyMonicaBaddingham · 28/02/2019 22:01

Or as we called them to ourselves fishy, crispy and punchy

Judashascomeintosomemoney · 28/02/2019 22:04

Biff is forty seven now, peri menopausal and trying to get two kids through GCSEs and A a Levels. Chip runs a hedge fund in the city and is NC with the rest of the family, and Kipper went off the rails and is in the Priory recovering from his crack cocaine and gambling addictions. The only evidence of Floppy is a slight, largish rectangular dip in the garden where the grass has never really recovered.

Evilspiritgin · 28/02/2019 22:04

Sorry you are all being unreasonable, I loved those books when my son, niece and nephew had them plus when my ds was little there was a tv program,

If you all think it’s bad you should have seen what wad available in the 70s

Michaelbaubles · 28/02/2019 22:06

Are we supposed to hear them read every night?

Fuck that shit.

DragonMamma · 28/02/2019 22:07

The Magic Key is probably the only book I remember from primary school. I was quite excited to see it again.

Until I read it 😐

Flowerfae · 28/02/2019 22:07

Sometimes I feel like I want another baby, then I remember those damn books and change my mind again

Drum2018 · 28/02/2019 22:08

I'm going through it too. Even ds gets bored reading them.

TheFirstRuleOfFightClub · 28/02/2019 22:10

Evil He gets sent home with 2 of these books every few days, I have to listen to this drivel every single night, twice over. 'the key started to glow' pfft....

OP posts:
Drogosnextwife · 28/02/2019 22:11

I read them when I was at school and have read them with both my kids so they have been going strong for at least 25 years. I went to the same school as my kids, they are probably the same copies 😂

TheFirstRuleOfFightClub · 28/02/2019 22:13

Haha, the ones my son has at the minute are 80% cellotape. I don't think they have bar codes either.

OP posts:
AdaColeman · 28/02/2019 22:16

They are not as bad as Dick and Dora, Nip and Fluff. Who ever named them hadn't consulted the Urban Dictionary! Grin

Catsandbootsandbootsandcats · 28/02/2019 22:25

I remember the TV series, I watched with my oldest before he started school so I'd never even heard of the books. I can still sing the theme tune, it was a good one!

When his school bought billions of new copies of them I volunteered to stamp them all with the school logo. That was fun. It actually was. I sat in a classroom on my own with headphones in stamping books. I'm strange.

MrsMoastyToasty · 28/02/2019 22:34

In the 1970's we had Peter and Jane.
Here is Peter
Here is Jane.
Peter has the ball
Jane has the doll.

These days Jane is the most retired neighbour that everyone avoids like the plague and Peter is on his 4th marriage and frequently travels to Thailand "on business"..

JuniperNarni · 28/02/2019 22:40

I remember these myself from school but not as clearly as Roger Red Hat and Billy Blue Hat. Ahhh I wonder what happened to those guys....

elephantoverthehill · 28/02/2019 22:45

Dd 14 enjoyed reading the updates on Biff, Kipper and Chip. I like Peter and I like Jane, I like Pat the dog.

elephantoverthehill · 28/02/2019 22:46

New word 'and'

Evilspiritgin · 28/02/2019 23:01

Who can remember words and pictures from the 70s with the magic pencil and wordy

Mumsymumphy · 28/02/2019 23:11

I remember words and pictures lol

I have the pleasure of being very familiar with Biff et al, im pretty sure my eldest (now 26) read them, my youngest 2 (now 8 and 12) definitely read them.

Oh but wait. I'm a primary teacher. I have had the pleasure of this godforsaken scheme day in day out for the past 16 years. I can tell you the full story of most of them just from looking at title. And, as i will still be working up until the day i die as I can't afford to retire, I'm willing to bet I'll have a magic twatting key book in my hand when I cork it Grin

Stayawayfromitsmouth · 28/02/2019 23:14

Got to be better than Spot the Dog.

GroggyLegs · 28/02/2019 23:20

We're currently reading the longest reading book in the world about fucking gardening.

He's 4. He doesn't care about gardening. I don't care about gardening. And it's SO LONG.

Bring back Biff (is that the girl?) Chip & Kipper.

DeathyMcDeathStarFace · 01/03/2019 10:11

I've been through them with 4 ds's and helped with reading in two different schools so I am absolutely sick of the Magic Key. It was alright the first time through but it didn't take long for me to be able to tell subsequent children the story word for word when they told me which book they had brought home.

Thankfully youngest son (8) went onto 'free readers' over a year ago so he chooses his own books from the school library and hasn't brought a Biff, Chip and flipping Kipper book home for a long time.

I have wondered in the past if the teachers get really sick of doing the same books year in year out with the children, it must get so tedious. I suppose that's why TAs and parent volunteers get to do a lot of the reading in schools as well as teachers just not having the time to do it all themselves.

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