To buy 17yo work colleague drinks?

[user5058]

Work night out coming up. 1 colleague is 17, a few months off 18.

Another colleague has gone on all week about how it's bad that any of us would buy her drinks when out. Since she's gone on all week, everyone's said they're not happy to buy her a drink. I'm the only one who's stuck with that I'd be fine going up to buy them for her (I'm not much older!).

It seems a bit unfair for this colleague to go round telling everyone how bad it is to buy her them, she'd be happy for her to not come out when she's the only colleague who isn't 18.

AIBU to be happy buying her a couple of drinks?

Well you are supplying a.minor with alcohol, which is illegal. Also you risk getting yourself and possibly the entire group ejected from the establishment for doing so.

Perhaps the reasons above is why your colleague does not want anyone purchasing the 17year old alcohol.

Is it a night out with food? It's legal to have alcoholic drinks with food at that age. Have to say I was drinking in pubs at that age

I’d do it.

Is she an apprentice? If so you may fall foul of the agreement your organisation has with her trainings provider with regard to safeguarding and boundaries; she's legally still a child.

I wouldn't.

I would do it but would ask them to be discreet about it and not to get steaming drunk. If they are drinking something with coke, lemonade or tonic, it will not be obvious anyway.

@crisscrosscranky not an apprentice.

My work sent out a company wide memo pretty much stating that anyone buying alcohol for a minor at a works do would be disciplined

On that basis, I wouldn’t

It is legal with a meal though. Is it a meal or just drinks?

@greendale17 we have been out with our managers before who've seen others buy her alcohol, they've never minded. It's just this one colleague who's now gone on about how awful it is all week!

@dementedpixie just drinks.

You'll just have to be discreet and buy tall drinks that just look like the mixer e.g. vodka and coke, gin and tonic, etc

Not the point I know, but it's crazy that she could get married, drive a car, join the army and (in theory) be sent to a war zone, but she can't have a pint of shandy.

Have you talked to your young colleague about this? (If I was her I’d either drink beforehand or eschew alcohol completely just so my evening was on my terms).

@JesusInTheCabbageVan completely agree! She's more sensible than some other colleagues too even for her age!

Maybe the one going on about it is tight and doesn't want to buy her a drink!

If you’re only 18/19 yourself, then I can appreciate it doesn’t seem like a massive deal to you.

I wouldn’t do it tho, and I would think Bad Things about about anyone my age getting a minor drunk in a pub.

Maybe make being a responsible adult on fleek for 2019z

While I would buy one for my brother or child (were I old enough) buying it for a work colleague goes too far. It's not up to you to supply her with the illegal alcohol.

@crisscrosscranky it doesn't make a difference if she's an apprentice or not, almost every apprentice at my work place is age 21-26 and has at least 1 degree... being an apprentice doesn't automatically put random safeguarding clauses in the contract...

This would be gross misconduct where I work (not that we have many under 18s here due to H&S).

Many workplaces have a policy that a work’s night out can be treated as “work” so although certain rules are relaxed some behaviour can result in work disciplinaries.

Perhaps that’s what your colleague is getting at?

Obviously it's illegal and I'm not sure what your work policy is but from a moral standpoint obviously it's fine. She's 17, almost 18 not 12!

@PrismGuile agreed but being 17 and an apprentice does. I'm a safeguarding lead and HRD for a training provider

Anyway, my rule is that if you have to ask if somethings the right thing to do it probably isn't so, again, I wouldn't.

Perhaps you could point out that if she can't join in drinking it's very discriminatory to have a works night out focused on drinking act shocked and outraged that they could consider such an alienating activity? Tee-total activities should be the order of the day(night)...

I used to drink at 17, I understand why it doesn't seem like a big deal to you to buy her drinks, but it is illegal. Having it be the default or being vocal about being willing to do it puts everyone in the group in a somewhat unreasonable position.

Could you all go for a meal to start the night so your 17 year old can have wine with the meal? In any case, if you are going to buy her drinks, be discrete about it.

This is not a night out with your mates, this is a works do where you're supposed to adhere to the same professional standards as you would in the office. My 17yo DS just went out for work drinks with the guys from his Saturday job, not one of his work team bought him an alcoholic drink it's not the right thing to do in this instance.

@crisscrosscranky fair enough! Apologies

Does the 17 year old even want an alcoholic drink????