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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to be annoyed no birthday present?

14 replies

Jinxed2 · 28/02/2019 18:11

My husband hasn’t got me a birthday present or even taken the kids to get me a token gift. I’m annoyed, AIBU?

OP posts:
Shoxfordian · 28/02/2019 18:14

Obviously not
Is he usually like this about presents?

Purpleartichoke · 28/02/2019 18:14

Birthdays matter for me. I’ve made that very clear with DH. I don’t need anything expensive, but knowing he planned ahead and got me a card and at least a small gift is important to me. Thankfully he understands, even if he finds it a bit silly.

Justkeeprollingalong · 28/02/2019 18:15

Not unreasonable at all. 💐

Original poster
Jinxed2 · 28/02/2019 18:16

It varies sometimes I get something, sometimes not. It’s the fact the kids haven’t been able to get me anything that’s upset me really and also I think he should know what I would like after being together for so long (his excuse is he doesn’t know what to get me). Even some flowers or a box of chocolates would be better than nothing....

OP posts:
LuckyAmy1986 · 28/02/2019 18:17

Well you need to make it known that you are upset so that this doesn’t happen again

Travis1 · 28/02/2019 18:17

Nope not unreasonable. I love birthdays and husband and I go all out for each other. No doubt about 40 posters will be along directly to tell you that ‘they’ll never understand adults worrying about birthdays’ so of course you are being unreasonable but you really aren’t.

I assume this isn’t the first birthday you’ve had whilst with him? Has he said anything about it?

Original poster
Jinxed2 · 28/02/2019 18:20

I have made it known....no not the first birthday we been together 13 yeare. I guess I just feel it’s a bit thoughtless.

OP posts:
gamerchick · 28/02/2019 18:22

Well I'm assuming you've been let off the hook for his since he's set the bar?

Original poster
Jinxed2 · 28/02/2019 18:27

Guess so 😏

OP posts:
LuckyAmy1986 · 28/02/2019 18:55

It is thoughtless! I’d be very upset too x

gingerbiscuits · 28/02/2019 19:00

That's lazy & downright shitty of your husband - he should have at least made sure the kids got you something & the 'I didn't know what to get you' excuse is just insulting. I'd have to have a serious rage about that!!

dontfluffthefluffer · 28/02/2019 23:09

That's shitty of him. It's not hard to pick up a card and some chocs.

Is it your birthday today? If so happy birthday WineThanks

FrozenMargarita17 · 28/02/2019 23:13

If he knows you like something and he knows you're unhappy then why does he make zero effort? Do you not matter to him?

CoolJule43 · 01/03/2019 09:06

As this does matter so much to you then you need to sit down and talk about it and make your DH aware in no uncertain terms that you are so unhappy about it.

The minimum you expect is a card from the children and small gifts from them. If they are old enough, do they get pocket money so he could take them out and use their money for a gift?

As you clearly find it unacceptable for him not to buy you a present, tell him so. Not buying you one because he can't think of what to buy is a very poor excuse. Tell him how it makes you feel (e.g. unwanted, unloved, taken for granted).

Does your DH expect a card and present on birthdays or at Christmas from you and the DC? What was his upbringing like - did he not have presents?

He isn't a secret Jehovah's Witness is he? Grin

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