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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To shout at strangers??

46 replies

ps1991 · 28/02/2019 16:15

A bit of a rant really! 6weeks ago I had my first baby and since then my eyes have been opened to how rude and inconsiderate people can be!

I feel like I want to scream at random people I see parking in parent and child spaces without a child! Or people who don’t move over to one side of the pavement! The people who don’t hold the door for the pushchair! And people parking on the curb!!!

AIBU to moan at these people?!?!?

OP posts:

ILoveBray · 28/02/2019 17:29

You do come across as a bit entitled OP. But as you're only 6 weeks post partum we'll forgive you

Some people can appear to be inconsiderate but without knowing their personal circumstances you can't be sure if it's intentional or necessary.

GreatDuckCookery6211 · 28/02/2019 17:33

Were you narky beforehand?

LuckyLou7 · 28/02/2019 17:48

Don't shout at strangers. You don't know what they might be going through. Just breathe and stop getting enraged about minor things.

CherryPavlova · 28/02/2019 17:51

Shouting is rarely the answer. Have a lovely big glass of Sancerre tonight instead.

grinningcheshirecat · 28/02/2019 17:51

I have a friend who always gets shouted at when she parks at the disabled spot. It looks like she walks well but she can only walk for a very very short time and only on maximum dosis of morfine. If she has an attackof her disease she needs a wheelchair. She doesn't look disabled, but she really is.

grinningcheshirecat · 28/02/2019 17:52

She always has her diability card on display too, doesn't help.

Sirzy · 28/02/2019 17:53

We get that too grinning

We have the best of both worlds. Ds is 9 and doesn’t always need his wheelchair, without it he looks “normal”. We have had people tell us off for parking in a disabled plant when neither of us are disabled and we have had people shout st us for using p and c spaces when he is too old

I just smile and nod!

LauraMipsum · 28/02/2019 17:57

I was totally ragey about everything at 6 weeks pp. Which coincided with having to do Christmas grocery shopping

Either the rage wears off as the hormones subside, or you just get used to being treated like a civic inconvenience.

Sizeofalentil · 28/02/2019 18:30

I read a scientific study which said that new mothers / breastfeeding women are (temporarily) more aggressive and argumentative. Guess we get pumped full of 'I will fight you if you harm my baby' hormones.

Also, YANBU - people are dicks.

Tucobenedicto · 28/02/2019 18:36

Wouldn't fancy going home to you with a fiver short in my pay packet

Meandmetoo · 28/02/2019 18:44

Hi op, i use p and c spaces when I'm with my mum and she's having a bad day mobility wise :)

SuziQ10 · 28/02/2019 18:48

Yes, I remember feeling exactly the same as you OP when my DD was tiny.
Still feel this way sometimes.

OneStepSideways · 28/02/2019 19:18

I felt like this when DD was a baby. Irritated and impatient with everyone and I'm afraid to say I did shout at people. Mostly people cycling on the pavement, those let their dogs sniff my pram and people parked on dropped kerbs! And I snapped at people sitting on the fold down bus seats (designated pram space) if they made a fuss about moving to a different seat.

Pushing a pram is hard work, so combined with sleep deprivation, hormones and the stress of a small baby I don't think you're being U.

The other week I was in Monsoon idly browsing an aisle when a mum rammed her pram into my foot! I looked up startled and saw the anger on her face, she apologised and I hastily got out of her way. Obviously it's rude to ram someone but that feeling of fury when everyone's blocking your exit and the baby's crying was all too familiar!

People need to be more respectful of new mothers, make space for them, notice when they're trying to get through a door or aisle.

WorraLiberty · 28/02/2019 20:53

People need to be more respectful of new mothers, make space for them, notice when they're trying to get through a door or aisle.

People also need to understand that's not always possible when people are shopping and actually browsing the items in a shop.

"Excuse me please" is exactly what these situations often call for.

JenniferJareau · 01/03/2019 05:59

@Treaclesweet

PFB = Precious First Born

Monty27 · 01/03/2019 06:02

Oh dear. Good luck with that attitude

HaventGotAllDay · 01/03/2019 06:22

Ouch.
The main people I notice being rude, entitled and not moving out of the way for others tend to be people with small people in tow who think that just because they've had a baby the rest of the world needs to bow down in amazement.

And don't use your hormones as an excuse for twatty behaviour. We can't have it both ways. Equality until we want spesh treatment at which point we pull the way wah hormone card.

Mmmmbrekkie · 01/03/2019 06:39

Don’t relate to this at all.
Were you so angry Pre children?

I slowed down hugely post birth. Happier pootling rather than always rushing.

TidyDancer · 01/03/2019 07:03

OP, I don't mean this to sound patronising, but is everything okay outside of this? You do seem unusually angry about relatively minor things.

P&C parking you will need to get over I'm afraid, there are people who have perfectly valid reasons for parking there without a child and shouting at them will only embarrass you. People getting out of your way on the pavement, perhaps you could say 'excuse me' or maybe you're the one in their way? People need to be considerate of each other sometimes.

Cremeeggsareforever · 01/03/2019 07:16

P&C spaces - I'm heavily pregnant and recovering from a dislocated knee so park in them. Try and stop me, I dare anyone. Prior to pregnancy, I also suffered with chronic pain (dreading that coming back) but don't qualify for a blue badge so would occasionally use these spaces.

Moving over to one side - say excuse me? Why do you expect people to move for you? People with pushchairs often force me in to the road when I'm walking my dog, because I have the dog. Ignoring the fact that I probably don't want to walk in the road as much as them.

People that don't hold the door - yes it's nice for people to do this but they don't have to.

Honestly, if you raised any of this with anyone, I think you'll end up walking away more upset than you started. You aren't any more entitled than anyone else just because you have a pram. You don't know anything about the strangers you are talking about or what they are feeling. I've been a dragon in pregnancy so anyone picking me up on these things would be bringing that upon themselves IMO.

I think you are just being over emotional because of being post partum, don't sweat the small stuff.

Cremeeggsareforever · 01/03/2019 07:17

Forgot to put your quote in bold, sorry.

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