To ask for help getting 2 year old to eat solid meals?

[Milkandcookiies]

Hello everyone. Posting here for traffic as I'm currently at my wits end with my 2 year old having the mother of all tantrums because I refuse to give him a baby bottle to drink from today and have given him a beaker instead.
He also refuses to eat solid meals and just eats Cow and Gate 10mth baby jars! Although he will eat some toast, crackers, crisps and breadsticks and the odd cheese sandwich.
The baby jars are no longer feasible as they cost £1 a jar and he must eat 6 a day!
A little backstory: DS had terrible terrible reflux as a baby up until 1 year and 4 months, where he would vomit everything he ate and drank and was in a fair amount of pain. HVs and Paeds suspect this has caused him to have an aversion to foods as he associates it with pain.
There was some concern about him possibly being ASD but the older he gets the less the Paeds think this is correct. He was about 1 year delayed at his 2 year check.
Does anyone have any advice on how I can get him eating? At the moment I have to sit him in front of the iPad or books to distract him enough to get him to eat his jars of food.
I have tried taking away the jars completely and just giving him normal food in the hopes that he'll eat when he's hungry but he's so stubborn he does days without eating and becomes very irritable.

I know this might sound odd as I'm entirely sure whether it would work.

Is it the idea of the jar that his doesn't mind if so could you get a big jar and make him normal food and serve it in the big jar. If he eats it at least you know there isn't a problem with eating the food. I know that doesn't remove the problem of replacing a jar to a plate but it's a step in the right direction food wise.

Also some meals you can do soft like porridge for breakfast but still get all the nutrients he needs.

I sympathise with you, I have two year old twins and they are on and off food constantly and one of them is very picking with the colour of his plate/bowl and how his food it cut.

I have tried putting home cooked food in the jars but I think the texture and taste must be very different as he knows it's not the same and won't eat it!
It's such hard work. He can't use a spoon either so I still have to feed him all his meals which gets very tiring.

I have a 16 month old who is on and off with his food. Luckily he is ‘on’ at the moment and eating most things we give him. He also goes to nursery so I think it helps him seeing other kids eating.

I think you just need to persevere as much as you can - maybe make your own baby food in bulk if that’s all he will eat so you know he’s getting some nutrients but keeps the cost low. Mix with hi fat food and carbs if he will eat it (I used to boil up veg and potatoes and mix with full fat milk and cheese and sometimes even tuna for dense food!)
Other than that, I read that ‘your job as a parent is to put the food in front of them, it’s their job to eat it’ I.e try not to stress too much (I know it’s hard) and he will get there in his own time.

If it helps, I have a friend who would eat nothing but baby food jars until she was about three. She is now one of the biggest foodies I know!!

Sorry - just saw your last post. Have you tried mixing half baby food and half home made mush to see if he will eat it?

Try straining some food.
See if that helps
You say he can't hold a spoon . That may be something too look into.

Stop buying them. Give him mashed food. Go from there. Never buy another one.

Thanks for your reply, it makes me feel better to know it's not only my DS with this strange attachment to baby food! I will try the half and half baby food, that's a good idea and might work.
Its just that it's getting so costly to have all this wasted food and around £6 a day on baby jars!

Another thing you could try OP is taking the pressure off at mealtimes by doing different things. Sit on a bench at the park and share some soup and bread, have a carpet picnic at home, leave a plate of healthy snacks that he can nibble on as he plays, invite other children round to eat with him, buy a sandwich in the supermarket and share it on the way home, make pizzas or banana cake together.

I know it's hard not to worry about it, but he won't still be surviving on jars of baby food when he's 21.

Try to eat with him when you can (even if you just have a little and eat properly later), let him sit on a proper chair rather than tether him in a high chair. Let him help himself.

Take a deep breath and remember it's your job to provide healthy food and his job to choose what and how much he eats.

As he likes smooth textures offer things like soup (with bread to dip), plain yoghurt with fruit to dip, hummus and breadsticks, etc. alongside other foods.

Good luck :)

I'm seeing this more and more in my work. If he has only eaten jar baby food you can't blame him for being a bit confused.

Is he still being sick after meals? Is he still get some reflux?

He needs to get hands on with the real food, so lots of messy play with cooked pasta, raw/cooked veg, jelly, cereal...lots of different textures, you get the idea.

If you have a play kitchen the you can role play with play food e.g. cooking, serving and eating it.

Lots of stories about food...log to the library and look at gardening books at different vegetables. Visit a local allotment, some do sessions for toddlers.

Get him involved in putting food in the trolley when food shopping.

Very importantly sit down and eat in from of him so he learns that you trust and eat the foods so he can too.

Don't bribe with chocolate/ice cream etc. as it has been shown to make the food you want them to eat less desirable.

Never force feed. Don't pressure to eat.

Offer little tastes along side the normal jars food. Make sure he portion sizes are the correct amount as this can be very off putting.

Make sure he is not having too many snacks too close to mealtime or is drinking too much milk before meals.

Ensure he is receiving the recommended multivitamin for those under five years old. Mainly vitamins A, C and D but many brands will provide a lot more vitamins.

And be realistic and adapt your expectations, he isn't going to eat a whole roast dinner in the next week. It will be very slow, steady, consistent steps from you and all family members.

Best of luck

I cant give you any form of expert advice I can only suggest you ditch the spoon and let him use his hands more, focus on what you know he will have occasionally, it seems he likes a firmish texture, build on that repertoire, until he's more used to it and forget about proper dinners for minute, don't let him fill up on milk type products before a meal is the usual advice.

Have you tried the sitting him with you when you and others are eating, I only say this as my youngest was a late weaner as he too had reflux issues the paediatrician wanted to wean him early but that didn't work and he then went back on fluids to then become a reluctant eater, everything new was highly suspicious so our problem was more moving him on from the cereals, and purees and mushed foods, but he loved being up at table in his highchair and stealing food off other plates. plus it took the strain off spending ages fighting with him doing pretend airplanes etc, we let him make a mess it seemed to work for him.

My ds is 2.5yo, had both colic and reflux and ended up with major food issues. You can try 100 different ideas but if he has a sensory issue it's not going to work. My ds is having OT and we can slowly see a difference. By age 2 from what you describe especially with his reflux it sounds like he has sensory issues.

Thank you everyone for the responses. I know I probably sound stupid having gotten this far with DS only on baby jars but the reflux he had really messed up weaning and as he was a terrible crier I ended up just doing whatever I could to get him to eat whatever he would eat just so he wouldn't cry all day long! He also had trouble gaining weight which made me worry about feeding him constantly. It's just been a pretty difficult road with food and weaning!
Thanks for the advice, there are some useful tips here that I will be trying.
I know a PP said about sensory issues and although the paeds aren't convinced on ASD they have said they think he may have Sensory Processing Disorder on its own so perhaps this is what's making it so difficult.

I'd slowly add other things to the contents of the jars. My dd had food aversion and it was a tough little while, but all fine now (she is NT though)

Hands. Normal food. Ditch the jars.
Mother of all tantrums will pass.

A no fuss approach without any pressure to ea,. No anxious hovering. No feeding him. Sit him at the table when you’re eating and let him feed himself.
If he can eat crackers he can eat most things. So for lunch maybe plain pasta twirls, vegetable fingers - pepper, cucumber, cooked carrot fingers. Grated cheese or finger sandwiches for lunch. Throw in something fun like wotsits. Apricots, melon, nice textures and colours.

Then supper let him have what you’re having. Rice is great fun with a plastic spoon and fingers. As is spaghetti. Don’t even begin to think of the mess. Just do it in the kitchen not on a cream carpet.