Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

1 2

Original poster

Am I being unreasonable to not want anything to do with this dog anymore?

42 replies

ToDoWithChickens · 28/02/2019 14:51

Our family dog has a history of showing aggression and we've literally tried everything under the sun to help him and nothing seems to work. The last straw for me was today. He was happily lying on the rug in the sitting room, he could clearly see me approaching him in a non threatening manner and I then sat down at the side of him with my hand out for him to sniff before I went ahead to stroke him. Well, he suddenly growled and went for me for no reason.

As of right now, I'm past caring and I frankly couldn't give a toss if he got ran over. I know that is horrible to say but that's how I'm genuinely feeling. I want the dog out of the house but I know most of my family will be against it. If he was a big dog, they might feel differently about it. Why subject other family members to live with a dangerous dog that is nothing but a ticking time bomb when the option of having him humanely euthanized is an option? It would be best for everyone especially the dog. What makes it worse is that my brothers girlfriend is due in four months time and they will all be living here until they find a house of their own.

I didn't mean for this to end up ranty, sorry.

OP posts:

Megs4x3 · 28/02/2019 15:47

Hysterical @WiddlinDiddlin? You ask what OP's done and she's already said she's 'tried everything'. Asking her to be specific is one thing but implying that she's indifferent and not bothering to find out isn't accurate or fair.

And @Veterinari, OP said that the dog was awake and saw her approaching, she offered a hand to sniff and then went to stroke the dog. she also said that the ensuing attack was what was the last straw and for her to NOW feel that at the moment she wouldn't care if the dog was run over.

I do wish people would read properly.

JonestheRemail · 28/02/2019 15:59

OP you always get a lot of bleating about retraining on these threads but the reality is that you can't trust the dog which lives in your house not to bite you or, as you say, your baby granddaughter. That is an unacceptable line in any dog for any reason.

I'd see if a dog charity will take it (unlikely with a history of biting) but otherwise it should be put down.

FizzyGreenWater · 28/02/2019 16:04

I can completely understand the people on this thread with experience of behavioural problems in dogs coming on to ask what OP has tried, to wish to help out etc.

But in the circumstances the OP describes, to take this road is absolutely not acceptable. OP would be utterly irresponsible to do so.

There is about to be a newborn baby in the house.

It does not really matter if OP literally HAS tried everything, behaviourist etc, or whether she's an utterly irresponsible dog owner who really really hasn't.

The fact is that the dog is unpredictable and, right now, dangerous, and the risk of keeping it in the house with a baby while it undergoes more/increased training is taking a risk with someone else's baby. If the dog did injure the baby or worse, how on earth could OP live with herself?

Furthermore, while rehoming isn't ideal, keeping the dog within this home isn't fair to the dog either. More people, including a baby, are due to move in, so more upheaval - almost certainly including dog moving to a more restricted space. OP no longer wants to do the training either, and I'd argue that that in itself isn't fair on the dog either. The dog should be wanted.

I honestly think that starting down the road of 'have you tried...?' is just not fair in this situation.

OP, you need to take advice, maybe a breed charity? Fostering? i don't know, but in your position I absolutely would not take the risk.

theconstantinoplegardener · 28/02/2019 16:14

Assuming that he's been vet-checked and there's no treatable cause for his behaviour, such as a painful abscess, I think it's perfectly reasonable to have him PTS. A family pet that is repeatedly aggressive to its owners for - gasp - daring to stroke him? He is a pet dog, not a tiger. His family should not have to walk on eggshells around him, constantly in fear of what will rile him next. Even with a behaviourist involved, I don't think it would ever be possible to trust him.

Cremeeggsareforever · 28/02/2019 16:18

How old is the dog? What have you tried? Have you been to a vet?

Personally I think saying you couldn't care less if it got run over is really horrible. You aporoached this dog. Offering your hand to a dog isn't an automatic 'you will accept me in to your space' thing and if the dog doesn't want to be approached, it will growl, potentially snap to say back off.

I would worry about this dog being in the house with a newborn but wish you'd provided more information other than 'I've tried everything'

Limensoda · 28/02/2019 16:19

My daughters dog was like this and then one day jumped up, totally out of the blue, and bit her son on the face.
I wouldn't take chances if there is to be a baby in theme house.

Limensoda · 28/02/2019 16:23

You aporoached this dog. Offering your hand to a dog isn't an automatic 'you will accept me in to your space' thing and if the dog doesn't want to be approached, it will growl, potentially snap to say back off

Oh yeah,....I would have a dog that growled at me? Sod that!
There are times you may HAVE to approach your dog. You can't have a dog that growls at you for no good reason and back off when it does. The House is YOUR territory first not the dogs!

Mia1415 · 28/02/2019 16:23

Its hard to say if YABU depending on

what you have tried
how long you have had the dog
what has happened before today
is this a new thing
have medical problems been ruled out etc

Cremeeggsareforever · 28/02/2019 16:29

I know lots of people that own dogs that growl for various reasons. A growl is a way of a dog telling you to back off if other attempts e.g. yawning and lip licking haven't worked. Dogs that are told off for growling will learn to skip this step and move on to biting.
Nobody wants their dog to growl at them but it is ultimately a way they communicate various things. That's why I asked other questions.

And this in no way needs to be a territory thing. The dog could be anxious, old with the onset of dementia, in pain, resource guarding, telling somebody that simply hasn't listened to go away. Many things. We don't know from what the OP has said.

I would not trust this dog in a house with a baby, and would be looking to see if a rescue would take them on, IMO. But the 'the house is your territory, not the dogs' is a bit of a poorly informed response when it comes to reasons why dogs will growl at somebody.

Moominfan · 28/02/2019 16:29

Op you really do have my sympathy. I've posted before about my dog who was aggressive. He was pts. It's honestly not the worst thing for a dog. I spent forever agonising over it. Now I see my toddler running around I know it was the right choice. There aren't people waiting to take a dog with challenging behaviours off your hands. If you honestly feel you've tried everything, I know how difficult the next step is. We spent money on trainers and his behaviour was to be managed rather than corrected as he was to far gone by the time we got him. I know I took a chance on a dog nobody else would take in. He was loved and pampered but it's not always enough

Cremeeggsareforever · 28/02/2019 16:31

You can't have a dog that growls at you for no good reason and back off when it does.

Also, there is likely to be a reason. Hence why I asked the OP other questions, and many PPs have. Dogs don't growl for no reason. And why doesn't you back off when they do? That is the purpose of the growl. To tell people/other dogs to back off.

Doghorsechicken · 28/02/2019 16:32

Please turn to a rescue centre and rehome the dog with people who know a lot more about dogs. There is no need to instantly jump to being PTS. I don’t imagine you’ve had a dog behaviourist out to assess the situation. We often treat dogs like humans and believe they have the same feelings and empathy as humans. They don’t, they’re an animal with different instincts and body language. Please give it a chance and hand it over to a rescue.

Cremeeggsareforever · 28/02/2019 16:34

Doghorsechicken well said

AuntieCJ · 28/02/2019 16:38

YANBU. Try to find a rescue to take it tomorrow but if you can't find one then get it put to sleep ASAP.

Aquamarine1029 · 28/02/2019 16:43

Op, I know exactly what you're going through. Many years ago, my husband and I adopted a 10 week old puppy from a rescue. We are VERY experienced dog owners. At about 6 months of age, this dog started being very aggressive with no provocation. He would literally just snap. Throughout the next year, we tried medication, we took him to behavioural training FIVE times, we tried everything. This dog was never abused and we had a very happy home, there was just something wrong with his brain. His aggression was getting worse and worse, and our vet was the one who recommended we put him to sleep. It would have been irresponsible to pass him off to another owner. It was an awful experience, but you have to prioritise the safety of your family.

Rubies12345 · 28/02/2019 16:57

Who is the owner? If it's your parents you can't get it put down without their consent.

Antonin · 28/02/2019 17:07

OP if your conscience is clear that you’ve done all you are able to treat the dogs behaviour and you have come to the end of the line, then you must make a decision that you feel is right to protect members of your family. Nobody relishes having a pet PTS but as humans we must that that responsibility if the circumstances so dictate. Your dog will not suffer, but if, say he attacked a child then he’d be traumatised by the aftermath and the inevitable forceful euthanasia.
You cannot expect posters to assist you with your decision because only you know all the facts.

Flip

1 2