People asking if "it's" planned

[IOnWednesdaysWeWearPinkI]

Pregnant with DC2 we told Pils and all MIL asked was "was it planned?" Aibu to think this is a rude question to ask?
Of course both my kids are planned but what if they were "accidents" what would be the outcome if I say no?
I did tell her that yes and both my babies were planned but can't help thinking that people think it's a normal question to ask someone I've even been asked that question by a stranger before. 🙄

I'd have possibly found it a slightly odd question from MIL but I was asked this by both medical professionals as well as friends and family and it never occurred to me to be offended by it. As it happens, DS wasn't planned but I've had no judgemental comments about that.

Mil told me' ah well accidents happen' when dh told her I was pregnant!! I quickly corrected her and her face fell!!
Set the scene tbh. She snubbed ds.

I also found this incredibly rude. We had started down the fertility treatment route, so DD was both very much planned and a wonderful surprise, when she snuck in naturally. FILs response was, "well these things happen" DH was gutted as he wanted his Dad to share our excitement.

My boss made a pointed comment about how well he and his wife had planned their family around work commitments. He wasn't quite sure where to look when I told him that if things had gone to plan we would have had DC1 years ago and this would be DC2 or 3.

SpottedTiger
I'm quite careful about telling people at work I'm pregnant as I know some people have been trying for years so can understand how it will hurt them.

Aprilshowersarecomingsoon
Accidents happen? Wow, hope you "accidentally" punched her face 🙄🙄

I had a friend who would break her neck to tell anyone who would listen that her DD was an accident when I KNEW they had been trying nearly a year (she confided in me). That was weird.

Sil asked me too out of ear shot from dh and Bil.
This, along with many other things is the reason why I spend as little time with her as possible.

MotherOfDragons90
Perhaps she's trying to rib it into people's faces that she can get pregnant without trying to... which is also weird

I've had people ask me if I wanted more kids at Christmas time DD would have been about 8 weeks. Yes, because another baby is what I want to think about after having a watermelon come out of me 8 weeks ago insert sarcasm and lots of eye rolling 😂

Someone I worked with asked me this literally over breakfast surrounded by students... We weren't friends! I I'd never shared a sandwich with her let alone personal details about my sex life! I think it's totally rude. Even more from MIL. You're a bloody saint to not unleash pregnancy hormones on her!

Think I would lose my shit if a colleague asked me this dont see how my answer to their question would impact their life except to only be nosey and run off and gossip to others
Hopefully I'm not asked again otherwise a more smart arse answer is coming

"well, we were fucking, so..."

Huh, now I've had quite a few people ask me this in this pregnancy - I'd guess 5-10, mixture of friends, family, medical people... And I never thought of it as rude.

I gave them the honest answer - I got super sick over summer and threw up all my pills and decided it wasn't worth the hassle of taking them again as I didn't mind having another baby. So not planned, but not prevented.

I'm a pretty upfront person though - I'll answer most questions honestly, don't usually think to take offence.

I’m like you bean, don’t find it rude in the slightest and have been asked it many many times. It leads to an interesting discussion. I’ve had great kindness and advice from people who I’ve honestly said ‘not planned, bit freaked out’ to. It goes without saying baby will be loved once it arrives.

As most babies aren't planned it's not off for it to be a happy accident but it's none of her business and an odd thing to ask!

@Wallsbangers

"Well MIL, it was a bit of a surprise given I've only been taking it up the arse for the last few years. Still, good news isn't it?"

OP, you HAVE to say this.

And yeah YANBU. It's very rude to ask!

@Auntiepatricia

I don’t find it rude in the slightest and have been asked it many many times.

Why? Why would you ask this?

Bizarre, intrusive, and bloody rude. I would tell you to mind your own business. It literally has nothing to do with you!

I don't mean you personally, I mean the person who asks!