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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Work place makes me nervous

29 replies

LellowYedbetter · 27/02/2019 19:55

Not been in current job long but it’s stressing me out. It’s the way colleagues behave. A couple of weeks ago someone was forced into a cupboard and locked in there for a laugh. She was let out after 5 minutes or so and laughed it off but that kind of thing would have made me really anxious and it would have played on my mind for months (asd). In another incident someone was wrestled to the office floor and dragged across the carpet because it was her birthday (again, all laughed off) and today two people ran at another colleague and knocked her flying, they all ended up in a heap on the floor. They all laugh it off but it’s nade me so anxious that something is going to be directed at me. I struggle with people being too close to me and I can’t handle practice jokes. I don’t feel like I can say anything as nothing has happened to me!!

OP posts:

wigglypiggly · 27/02/2019 19:57

How bizarre, I've never heard of anything like this before, it sounds very strange. I'd report it to the manager and get another job asap.

Kittykat93 · 27/02/2019 20:13

I've worked in many places and never ever heard or seen anything like this

Original poster

LellowYedbetter · 27/02/2019 20:14

I never have until I started here.

OP posts:

FairyMoppings · 27/02/2019 20:17

Wow. I'm not asd but this would make me anxious too. Are all these practical jokes played on just women?

Girlinthegarden · 27/02/2019 20:18

It sounds a very strange place!

PeterPiperPickedWrong · 27/02/2019 20:20

What kind of place do you work? That is shocking. in 30 years of working I have never seen that kind of behaviour. I would be putting in a formal complaint if I was wrestled to the floor/ dragged/ knocked over. As I suffer terrible claustrophobia I would actually totally freak if I was locked in a cupboard!
How old are these people?

Original poster

LellowYedbetter · 27/02/2019 20:24

99% of the team are women. Funnily enough the few blokes that work there (2 all in all!) are never involved.

OP posts:

Isleepinahedgefund · 27/02/2019 20:34

You finding this distressing is nothing to do with ASD. It would perturb the vast majority of people. I’d be constantly on edge if I thought things like that would happen to me, and I certainly would never go to work on my birthday!

What do the managers do, or is it one of those situations where the whole office is so “fun” that the managers are complicit?

SpeedyBojangles · 27/02/2019 20:34

Where the hell do you work?

YADNBU, this is bizarre behaviour for grown adults in a workplace!

BackforGood · 27/02/2019 20:41

What ISleepInAHedgeFund said.

That is really bizarre.

Do you have any sort of supervision meetings ?
Or a meeting to see how you are getting on, in a probationary period perhaps ? I would certainly bring it up. Say, that whereas you realise you are the new person, and don't want to get off on the wrong foot with your colleagues, you are really disturbed by these actions, and are seriously considering leavng the workplace because of it.
Or even is there a friendly longer standing member of staff, who isn't involved, or who sits next to you, or who you chat to at lunch, or report to in some way, you could ask to speak to them, in private, and in confidence about something that is worrying you, and ask them if they would take it further without mentioning you if you don't want them to know it is you that has brought it to the managers' attention

IWantChocolates · 27/02/2019 20:44

Sounds like the "sorority" that is in fact my school. Grown women running in and out of each others' classrooms, shrieking.

It's never directed at me though. OP, is it a group that do it to each other? It may be that they only do it to each other. Is there anyone else in the office you think isn't involved that you could speak to about it? Just say they seem very lively and that you like how friendly people are but you wouldn't want these things happening to you (could mention add if you wanted to or make up some back injury or something). They may pass on the message.

IWantChocolates · 27/02/2019 20:44

*could mention asd if you wanted

PuzzlingPuzzle · 27/02/2019 20:46

This is the kind of thing that used to happen when I worked in a supermarket as a teenager... are you all 16 and is this a branch of Waitrose?!

ENormaSnob · 27/02/2019 20:46

Christ...do you work at wwf?

Original poster

LellowYedbetter · 27/02/2019 20:48

The manager sees some of it. We were sat waiting for a meeting to start and manager walked in to two staff members trying to “dead” each other’s arms. The carpet dragging took place away from manager but in front of other staff of the place we were working at. Manager is aware if the cupboard thing and just rolled her eyes! There have been other things too which I don’t even feel I can mention on here as it’s even more bizarre than the stuff I’ve already listed. The other quieter members of staff just keep their distance. Nobody would be willing to say anything as everyone is just so loud and in your face

OP posts:

Etino · 27/02/2019 20:48

Are you at clown school?
Poor you- it sounds awful.
Is it worth flagging up that you’d really not appreciate that?
‘Don’t even think of pranking me, I have no sense of humour and would be seriously upset.’
You’d have to then follow through and ‘over-join’ in in other things- collections, tea making etc.

Thecabbageassasin · 27/02/2019 20:52

I’d be looking for another job. The office seems poorly managed and they sound horrifically immature, consider it a compliment you don’t fit in and move on,

sighrollseyes · 27/02/2019 20:53

When I worked as a teenager in small convenience store (think the one that's most common but not Tesco)! This is pretty much what every shift was like - we were all like 16-20 ish years old and always messing about - but this was about 10-15 years ago and i still shop in that same store and know some of the staff who say it's not like that anymore.

Didyeeaye · 27/02/2019 21:03

I used to work as a youth worker in my late teens and practical jokes were part of stress relief/ team bonding as we worked with very challenging kids and were under a lot of pressure. I found it a great atmosphere but am very extrovert, one of our colleagues was shy and was never the target of jokes but was pulled in to them as a decoy purely because she was so straight laces. She seemed to enjoy the comradary as well.
Definitely mention to your colleagues you wouldn't like to be part of it as it would make you uncomfortable. They will understand

coolwalking · 27/02/2019 21:10

How old are your colleagues? This is not normal. Is it a professional environment?

wallymum · 27/02/2019 21:12

Does David Brent work there?

wigglypiggly · 27/02/2019 21:15

Dragging someone across a filthy floor, shutting someone in a cupboard, how is that at all funny, it's the strangest thing I've ever heard. Who will take responsibility when it all goes disastrously wrong which it inevitably will.

Original poster

LellowYedbetter · 27/02/2019 21:18

It’s a healthcare setting and we are professionals but office/mobile based so it doesn’t take place in front of clients.

OP posts:

AirBiscuit · 27/02/2019 21:22

Being forced into a cupboard is really bad. Ted Heath was forced to remain in the closet and he ended up ruining the British economy

AlexaAmbidextra · 27/02/2019 21:25

It’s a healthcare setting and we are professionals

Jesus, it gets worse. I don’t care how much people need to let off steam. This behaviour is juvenile in the extreme. Come the day when someone gets injured then the shit will hit the fan, and rightly so.

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