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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To ask if you've gone away without breastfeeding toddler and managed to carry on breastfeeding afterwards?

23 replies

Natsku · 27/02/2019 14:47

OH has offered to stay home with DS, who will be 17 months, in the summer for a week while I go away with DD but I wasn't planning on stopping breastfeeding so soon, was hoping to carry on until at least 2.

He drinks a cup of cows milk every day at lunch just fine so I'm fairly confident he'll drink milk alright while I'm away but I'm worried he'll wean in that time. Anyone have any experience with this?

I can take my pump with me to try to keep my supply up though I haven't used it in months so not sure how effective it'll be. He feeds very often at the moment (nearly 13 months) but I expect he'll have cut down to just a few feeds a day by then.

OP posts:

GreeboIsMySpiritAnimal · 27/02/2019 14:49

Yes, but only for 36 hours, not a week. That was fine, not sure either of us (me or DD) could've coped with a week.

Original poster

Natsku · 27/02/2019 14:54

Bit worried about that too, longest I've been away from him so far is about 8 hours but he is very attached to his dad so I hope that would help. Maybe I should do a trial run of a weekend beforehand.

OP posts:

CottonSock · 27/02/2019 14:56

I was feeding mine once a day at that age and went away. Decided it was time to stop and I didn't expect sore leaking boobs at my conference as I didn't take a pump. I didn't think she was taking much milk!

Yellowcar2 · 27/02/2019 15:03

I went away for 4 days when LO was 18months I expressed bottles for her so DH could feed her and took my pump with me and pumped both sides before bed and before breakfast as this is how she feeding at home. Had no trouble once home and carried on as normal.
Are you able to express whilst away?

Original poster

Natsku · 27/02/2019 15:11

Yellowcar2

Yes I can dig out my pump and take it with me and express as often as needed.

OP posts:

SmarmyMrMime · 27/02/2019 18:45

I went away for 4 days when my bottle refuser was 12m. He fed more frequently than I expected when the booking was made many months earlier, and the breast pump was invaluable, especially on day 2 when the engorgement was worst.

When I got home, he latched on within 30 seconds of laying eyes on me and it was the best feed ever

Pheasantplucker2 · 27/02/2019 18:51

I went to the US for a week with work when my ds was 2. He only fed at night by this point. I'd hoped he would have forgotten about it when I got back (7 years of constant pregnancy or breastfeeding by that point and I wanted my body back), but he latched on when I got back and didn't stop bf until he was 3 and I made him! I didn't need to express at all wh n I was away, which made me assume my supply had dried up but no...

HolidayQ · 27/02/2019 18:55

Yes for 10 days but my toddler was 2 so abit older. He still fed when I got back.

HolidayQ · 27/02/2019 18:56

I didnt express either as it never worked for me

Original poster

Natsku · 28/02/2019 08:34

When I got home, he latched on within 30 seconds of laying eyes on me and it was the best feed ever

Ah that's sweet

So it seems like this could work. Would be so nice for DD to have some time with me when the focus is on her after the year she's had.

OP posts:

HotpotLawyer · 28/02/2019 08:39

Do you want to leave your 17m old for a whole week?

I did 3 or 4 nights for work and had a physical ache for missing mine.

NameChange30 · 28/02/2019 08:47

I find it weird that you would want to leave him for a whole week when you've never spent more than 8 hours away from him. As you say, you would need to build up to it, start with an overnight and then try 2-3 nights.

Does it have to be a whole week with DD, could you have a long weekend with her? Where are you planning to go - close to home or abroad?

If it was me I think I'd go for 3 days and hope to reestablish breastfeeding on my return. If you go for a week I think you need to accept that it will probably the end of breastfeeding. I think it's actually a good way to stop if you're ready to.

FfionFlorist · 28/02/2019 11:56

Yes for 5 days at about 11 months. I was away with work. Hated being away but felt I had no choice. Didn't pump, felt very uncomfortable but reestablished feeding very easily.

Original poster

Natsku · 28/02/2019 12:03

We would be going up to Lapland (we're in central Finland) which is an overnight on the train there and an overnight back so that's two nights already just with the travelling so it would have to be at least 5 nights to make it worthwhile all that travelling. 5 nights does sound a bit better than a week.

OP posts:

CycleWoman · 28/02/2019 12:14

I think it’s really hard to gauge and depends on the kid, how much they are feeding etc etc.

As an example, I went away for two nights when mine was 17 months. At that point he was just having a feed before bed and some times in the morning. On return from my trip I offered him his bedtime feed and he didn’t want it and that was that! I was ok with it as I felt like I wanted to stop at some point in his second year anyway but it took me by surprise.

Mother87 · 28/02/2019 13:46

Yes - a long time ago... but with 'lots' of expressing - maybe 4/5 times a day

DelurkingAJ · 28/02/2019 13:49

Yes. We went to a wedding abroad for three nights. DS2 was 18 months and feeding morning and evening. I took a pump to reduce the discomfort. Otherwise normal service was resumed on my return.

CountessVonBoobs · 28/02/2019 13:50

I would probably express night and morning (I've been known just to hand express in my morning shower when away with work) and would otherwise not have a problem. I would have a problem with missing my child though tbh. Even now mine is 4 I missed him terribly when I was away 3 nights.

NameChange30 · 28/02/2019 13:54

An overnight train? What if there's an emergency and you need to get back urgently? Unlikely, but I wouldn't want to be more than a reasonable length car or train journey away from DS.

BikingBeatrix · 28/02/2019 14:13

Yes. But it very much depends on the child and the mother. For me it was my third child and I was more relaxed and was already doing two night shifts per week. I was away 2 nights, 3 days, for a study event. I had lots of milk too, was already struggling overnight with leaks when at work. I kind of accepted the feeding might be over, though I’m glad it wasn’t - we kept going 2 more years, till he was 3. We gave him formula when l was at work - the first time DH gave him it after he’d finished all the expressed, he tasted it, scowled and said I want mummy milk. We think that was his first whole sentence! He was also quite unsettled when I was away, which is hard on those looking after him. But we survived it!

Original poster

Natsku · 28/02/2019 16:30

In the unlikely case of an emergency it would be a long way back but it's where my family is that we'd be visiting, unfortunately they don't live closer.

OP posts:

Heymummee · 28/02/2019 16:34

Yes, about 4 weeks ago I went away from Friday morning to Monday evening and took my pump with me. My baby is 13 months and I was feeding him usually in the morning and before bed so I just expressed milk at those times. When I got back my supply was a little lower than usual, but only a few days and then back to normal again.

Fakenametodayhey · 02/03/2019 22:54

I stopped breastfeeding when i was pregnant with third child for a few months (it started to hurt?) But when new baby was born and my breasts were too full she went right back on it

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