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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To wonder why people knock on the doors of public toilets?

66 replies

RoboticSealpup · 27/02/2019 11:16

I just saw a woman walk up to the occupied toilet in a cafe and knock on the door. She didn't even wait for half a minute before doing it. Why do people do this? Is it to tell the person inside to hurry up? Is so entitled! Do they also go up to people in front of them in queues and tell them to be quicker? Do they think someone is sitting in there enjoying a leisurely poo wee whilst reading a book? Most people don't enjoy being in public toilets so don't need to be told to get the hell out asap.

OP posts:
Original poster
RoboticSealpup · 27/02/2019 12:18

I also think it's s bit weird to expect people to talk to you when they're on the toilet.

knock knock
[Strained voice] I'll be out in a moment! [Plopping sound]

I mean, most of the time they won't even look at you when you come out, and yet you're meant to talk to them whilst on the toilet to acknowledge their knock?

OP posts:
EKGEMS · 27/02/2019 12:19

I was in the family bathroom with my wheelchair bound disabled son (not a fast chore for me) and had someone knock multiple times when I had already said "Just a minute" made me wanna snarl at them to fuck off as we exited

Grace212 · 27/02/2019 12:21

@Stormwhale

what did the woman say as an excuse for shaking the door like that?

Noonooyou · 27/02/2019 12:23

I don't mind people giving a quick knock. Especially in a cafe type place. Doors can shut on their own and many toilets aren't made with the red indicator that it's locked. Is it really hard to comprehend why someone may give a quick tap rather than standing there waiting not knowing if it's occupied?
Some of the stories on here are different as they are people who've knocked then knocked again.

Biancadelrioisback · 27/02/2019 12:32

Just because some people dont like public toilets doesnt mean some others don't take ages in there! Especially when it's a loo that also had the hand dryer in there and sink etc. I've had to wait, absolutely bursting for a wee before to the point I thought I would explode because someone wanted to use the toilet to top up their makeup. Some people use the space to get changed, hide after arguing with someone, sit and text etc. It happens all the time. If you can't just use the loo, wash your hands a leave then damn right I will be knocking at the door.

bellabasset · 27/02/2019 12:37

I was waiting in the supermarket and another customer came in behind me and said she thought they were empty.

They were, just the lock appeared half red.

Haworthia · 27/02/2019 12:39

I can only assume it’s a passive aggressive way of announcing that they’re waiting and you’d better hurry up. It’s as if they imagine that you’re sitting there painting your nails or reading a book or something Grin

I remember being in a baby change room changing my son when someone hammered on the door. I called out “I won’t be long!” Thirty seconds later they hammered again and I screamed “WAIT!” like a banshee, because even if they didn’t hear me call out the first time, it was fucking rude of them to keep banging. Why do it in the first place?

When I came out they’d gone, but I knew who it was because there was only one other person with a baby in the place. I tried to make eye contact as if to say look, I have a baby with me too, arsehole Grin

Stormwhale · 27/02/2019 12:45

Grace212 - nothing. No excuse, no apology, just an "alright love" in a stroppy voice.

Kazzyhoward · 27/02/2019 12:49

Some people take the piss re the amount of time they spend in a loo. Heaven knows what they do in there. A knock is a polite way to tell them to hurry the F up.

Likewise, sometimes there's no one in and someone has moved the lock from the outside.

Sometimes it's not clear whether it's locked or not - there may not be a "vacant/engaged" sign, sometimes people don't bother locking it when they are in. A polite knock is a good way to find out if someone is in there without barging in on them.

In this case, the woman may have been sat with a view of the loo, and may have been waiting for the occupant to come out, maybe they were getting desperate?

Original poster
RoboticSealpup · 27/02/2019 12:56

If you can't just use the loo, wash your hands a leave then damn right I will be knocking at the door.

I find it hard to believe that people would just hang out in public toilets for the hell of it. I like a PP said, if someone's taking longer it's probably because they need to.

OP posts:
Grace212 · 27/02/2019 13:08

@Stormwhale

how weird. Confused

Wallsbangers · 27/02/2019 13:12

In the early days of being a mum, I had to deal with a poonami in a coffee chain, there had been a knock on the door, I yelled I was changing a baby so would be a few minutes. More knocks, heard a person outside telling the person that I'd got a baby so they'd need to wait. More knocks, door flies open courtesy of the manager just as my son does a massive piss all over the changing table. Cue lots of mumbled apologies from them while I'm arms deep in wee, trying to placate my now screaming pee covered baby.

So yeah, I'm not a fan of the repeat knocking.

WeBuiltThisBuffetOnSausageRoll · 27/02/2019 13:15

And this is precisely why it should be the law that you must sing throughout whilst 'busying yourself' in public - anything by Rodgers & Hammerstein would do.

At least it's better than the standard American public toilet door, which have a good 12-18" gap at the bottom, enabling toddlers (or weird and flexible adults) to stick their heads underneath and shout "Hello, pooing lady!!!"

TheDarkPassenger · 27/02/2019 13:16

It makes my wee go back in. However if I was having a toilet emergency I would bang and shout please hurry up I’m going to shit myself

Wynturphelle · 27/02/2019 13:19

What I can't understand is the absolute state some people leave the cubicles in. Knocking on the door is nothing compared to leaving pee, poo and paper everywhere!

WeBuiltThisBuffetOnSausageRoll · 27/02/2019 13:20

The last two times I have been to a particular leisure centre I have had problems with using their toilets. The first time a woman tried the door, I called out that it was occupied. She then repeatedly tried the door until she had shaken it so much it came unlocked and she opened the door. I am not ashamed to say I lost it at her.

Good for you. What a weirdo. I'd be very inclined to report her to the management for both vandalism and attempted sexual assault behaviour - why else would you be so determined to wrench a toilet door off to get at the person you know is inside (unless there's good reason to believe they're in need of assistance, of course)?

WitsEnding · 27/02/2019 13:22

It's desperation. Sometimes people do spend ages in there on the phone - dating thread mandatory loo update anyone? I recently interrupted 3 schoolgirls occupying all 3 cubicles at my local leisure centre making one call on speakerphone.

Somebody's mum on the other end of the phone was the first to reply to my request for them to move.

havingtochangeusernameagain · 27/02/2019 13:36

This really annoys me too OP. Most doors indicate they are locked. You do not need to try the door or knock. Look at the indicator. And I was desperate too, so wait your turn.

havingtochangeusernameagain · 27/02/2019 13:37

Yes and why DO people leave loo roll all over the floor?

havingtochangeusernameagain · 27/02/2019 13:39

someone wanted to use the toilet to top up their makeup

this REALLY annoys me. Happened this morning at the railway station. Do your business, wash your hands and go! Other people want to use the washbasins! They spend hours doing their make-up and then no doubt come onto MN to complain about the dirty cow who didn't wash her hands. BECAUSE YOU WERE HOGGING THE WASH BASIN!!

RubbishRobotFromTheDawnOfTime · 27/02/2019 13:46

This kept happening to me in New York. I waited ages in a queue for a single (and disgustingly filthy) loo in Starbucks, and almost as soon as I got in the woman who had been behind me started knocking on the door. Same thing happened a few times in different places there. I spent the holiday enraged.

Guess a New York minute applies to having a wee and not just driving off at traffic lights.

Asthenia · 27/02/2019 13:48

I usually knock after about 5 minutes. I honestly find at ABSURD how long some people take! Unless you have a bowel related illness etc, if you’re just going in for a wee, how does the entire process take longer than 2/3 minutes? One of my friends does this - I never wait for her in public toilets as she’s in there a good 15 minutes faffing about with just a wee. So frustrating.

BatshitCrazyWoman · 27/02/2019 13:55

EKGEMS I feel your pain. I have an adult disabled DC and often the baby change facilities are in the accessible loo. There's two of us, one disabled, who need to use the loo if we're in there, so it does take longer. Nothing I can do about it, and knocking and shouting 'I have a baby you know' through the door doesn't help! It's rude, in my opinion.

Ribbonsonabox · 27/02/2019 13:58

Around 60% of the cafes I go into round here have broken lock things that just say engaged even when they are open... after many times of standing waiting like an idiot for a cubicle which is actually empty I now knock...
I thought it was more polite than trying the handle? What if the door doesn't actually lock and you barge in on someone?

yellowishgiraffe · 27/02/2019 14:01

@EKGEMS I had a very similar experience in an airport family bathroom. I was changing my LO and this family outside started hammering on the door.

I shouted that it was occupied, but they just kept banging away. It really freaked my poor baby out as they were making such a noise and I was shouting over it.

When I was done changing DS I walked out to find they (a mother and two older kids who clearly didn't need a baby change station) had called over a member of the cleaning staff and were trying to convince her to unlock the door from the outside. I was fuming. The kids didn't even let me walk through the door before they'd pushed past me.

Honestly the rudest people I have ever encountered.