AIBU to think this is a horrific way to speak to your daughter

[Greenwichgirl25]

We were at a family farm/activity place during half term. I was sitting waiting for my husband when I heard this woman beside me say very clearly and very threatingly to what looked like an 11 yr old dd that if she misbehaved one more time she would remove all her clothes right there including her knickers and make her walk around that way for the rest of the visit. I was completely gobsmacked tbh. They moved away but about 10 mins later I went to retrieve my ds from the trampolines and heard a child crying and begging .. it was the same girl and her mother had hold of her zip on her hoodie and was removing it all the while hissing for her to keep her hands down as this was happening. She took it off her and then said next time it will be another piece of clothing. AIBU to think that this is serious emotional abuse?! To use humiliation as a threat to control your child seems just sick to me. I'm now upset I didn't say anything but as I hadn't got any way to report her I didn't know what to do. I'm still horrified by it as the child sounded so desperate and afraid it seemed like this had happened before.

I would have approached the mother and asked her was she ok. Clearly there is something very wrong here. Not intervening means it continues. Check if the child is ok. Tell her it's not right the way her mother treated her. She has the right as a child to be safe and cared for. Tell the mother what she is doing is not right and she needs to get help.
Then report to ss so they have a record as PP have said, the more evidence the better.
This continues if no one intervenes.
Childrens safeguarding is everyone's responsibility

I don't think my mother would have responded well to anyone telling her she was in the wrong. My df used to try to defend me and she’d leave for the evening then tell me that they were divorcing and it was all my fault. My father used to sit there looking broken, worrying about her and then maybe go looking for her. I remember making up the spare bed for him because he had interviened.

People who punish like this aren’t normally the kind of people who are open to self reflection or being told they are in the wrong.

I'm sorry that happened to you lovely

But having someone believe you and stick up for you and intervene on your behalf means you are not alone.
In a lot of cases ss would rather not remove a child from the family home and prefer to educate the parent/s to better parent. It may be the case that removing the child from the home is far more detrimental

OP we were discussing this sort of scenario at work today and we are all senior CP social workers. That snap shot of a child's life when you have no idea who they are and how you should you intervene. I will be very honest and in my 'off duty hours' usually I feel shit yet do nothing when I pass this kind of thing on the street. God knows what is happening for that child but even with years of experience and being expected to deal with loads of abuse and face aggression as a lone worker daily I have rarely felt able (or honestly been up to) dealing with these encounters face on when going about family life. We all have a responsibility to safegaurd vulnerable people but how can you report it when you have no idea who they are? How do you find out who they are? They are not going to tell you and unless you witness a physical assult it is very difficult to get the police to take action. This does not mean it is okay to do nothing but highlights how difficult it is. There are very probably lots of people who know this child and are worried but are uncertain whether they should 'just mind their own business'. Professionals can only assess and support when they are aware all is not well.

It would have made it MUCH worse if anyone intervened. I get why some of you would hope a child felt comforted by the knowledge that someone cared but it just doesn't work like that. It would just have meant a much worse beating later.

It's not just the threat of humiliation, it's the forcing the child to remain still while she is forcibly undressed that is particularly abhorrent. That would fuck anybody up in a big way.

I can only hope the other adults in that child's life do a better job of protecting her than those around Amber Peat did.

This is total bollocks. Reported for some sicko troll trying to fan wank material flames for his jollies.

OP, I would report to police in first instance rather than SS or farm. I saw a leaflet recently saying how if you witness verbal or emotional abuse in the street you should observe from a safe place and report it. Give a description, clothes, time, place etc. Are they in the background of any family photos? Unlikely they can be tracked from one incident but not impossible. And not impossible that one day your observation can be matched up with other concerns to make a difference. Please try to get it recorded. PP is right, sadly cases like Amber Peat highlight the need to coordinate lots of random concerns to build a bigger picture and help the child.

Some parents can be such nasty bastards to kids - just awful behaviour. My DD is 10 and just becoming very aware she's changing and doesn't like her little brother seeing her change or in the bath now - highly respected in our house now, I couldn't imagine threatening something so personal as punishment

It's a horrible story, but was obviously an empty threat, how could the mother possibly have carried it out in a public place?

Jesus, emotional abuse by public humiliation. I'd think the park may well have CC TV which will be back up, so before you call Police, think back & write down everything you can remember & report (mother & child's hair/eye colour, age, clothes, jewellery, what was said, other family members, any accent etc).

As others have said it's difficult to know how to intervene without making things worse. The threat seems to have been persisting as well. If it had been more spur-of-the-moment distracting the mother might have been effective, asking her for directions or something? (My DH has been known to ask drunks in pubs "Is SHE bothering you?" rather than directly challenging them which only leads to aggression.)

years ago my teacher thretaened to send me to the swimming pool naked if i forgot my swimming costume dead serious

this was 30 odd years ago so i doubt anything would have been done about him yes him-but i never forgot it