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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Leaving kids at 5am alone

49 replies

R2G · 26/02/2019 08:44

Guys my sister is running in a group at 5am. Has many other opportunities to exercise as ex has kids three times a week. Kids are 12 and 11. They are left alone for an hour.
In the past she had issues with a different ex regarding stalking which he was convicted in court.
Do you think this is ok at this time or no?

OP posts:

Margot33 · 26/02/2019 09:27

I think that's okay.

AllStar14 · 26/02/2019 09:29

YABU. They are old enough to be left for an hour, and they'll be asleep. Can't see the problem at all! I actually can't wait until mine are old enough for me to do the same.

Seeline · 26/02/2019 09:30

OP says his sister is running with a group, so I wouldn't thought possible stalker to be an issue there.
Most 11/12 yos would still be asleep at that time, but even if awake, as long as they know not to open the door, than again - no issue.

Toooldtocareanymore · 26/02/2019 09:32

yes absolutely fine.

Horsemenoftheaclopalypse · 26/02/2019 09:37

It’s absolutely fine...

kaytee87 · 26/02/2019 09:39

It's fine, they'll be sleeping and presumably she's back in time to get them up for school.

Waiting for massive drip feed.

BGD2012 · 26/02/2019 09:40

My son is 11 I leave him alone for an hour or two once a week.

chocatoo · 26/02/2019 09:41

I think its fine too.

Shinyletsbebadguys · 26/02/2019 09:42

I think if the DC are sensible and ok with it it's fine

I also think if I ever caught my Dsis making a post like yours I would Jane her backside to her (verbally just to be clear ) and she would be told in no uncertain terms to butt out

Shinyletsbebadguys · 26/02/2019 09:43

Hand her her backside not Jane her backside , the mind boggles to the interpretation of that

enjoyingscience · 26/02/2019 09:44

At 11 and 12 I would expect that most kids are coming home from school on their own. An hour when they are asleep is fine.

SherlockSays · 26/02/2019 09:45

My mum left us at 5 every weekday to go to work - I was year 9 and my youngest brother year 6, we were fine.

Orchidflower1 · 26/02/2019 09:48

Are you worried about your sister or the chn regarding the stalker? Have you expressed your disapproval to her- if so what did she say?!

userschmoozer · 26/02/2019 09:49

YABVU.
Has many other opportunities to exercise as ex has kids three times a week. Kids are 12 and 11.

No, thats not how running groups work. They don't pop out of thin air at your convenience.
Women who run are told by the police to run in groups for safety and thats without the additional risk of a stalker ex.

sleepylittlebunnies · 26/02/2019 09:53

Ordinarily I think it’s fine as long as the kids know when they go to bed that she will be out if they get up at that time., or if she leaves them a note.

Do they have mobiles and can contact her, you or a neighbour if she doesn’t return?

Is the stalker ex still a threat? I can understand your concern as he could use the kids to get at your sister. My friend’s stalker ex while on a restraining order trespassed into her garden and took her dog, she never saw it again.

PolarBearDisguisedAsAPenguin · 26/02/2019 09:56

Has many other opportunities to exercise as ex has kids three times a week.

This sounds like you are judging her.

I don’t see the problem with going out for a run at that time as long as the kids know she has done so. Presumably she has her phone on her arm or similar so can be contacted in an emergency.

Ingesw · 26/02/2019 09:57

Good idea, I shouldn’t even think they wake before she gets back. That way she gets to do other stuff when she doesn’t have her kids.

Being a LP is a tough gig, I think it sounds like she’s got it organised well.

*other stuff being the things you take for granted that you can do while your DH just watches them for an hour or so like getting your hair done, having coffee with freinds or having a night out.

sailorsdelight · 26/02/2019 09:58

Sounds okay to me! Good for her for getting up and being motivated at that time in the morning.

sailorsdelight · 26/02/2019 09:58

They can ring her if something is up can’t they? Not that it would be atbthat time in the morning ...

Yabbers · 26/02/2019 09:59

At that age we were left at 7am to get up and off to school.

Stop judging, you do you.

WoahThereMama · 26/02/2019 10:00

You seem to not want it to be fine OP. What exactly is the problem?

Original poster

R2G · 26/02/2019 10:01

Thanks everyone. Yes the main concern was the ex as the group posts on Facebook with a picture of their runs and his stalking was mainly waiting at the children’s school to see her so my concern was the pattern and being at her house. I can’t come out at that time due to my children. He has not been a recent issue though and I haven’t expressed any concern to her. Perhaps I’m overly worrying. The children are independent enough there is no concerns from that point of view. I mentioned the other opportunities to exercise to highlight the choice/ she does also exercise during those times too so being out each morning and tagging on Facebook I was worried about the pattern mostly. My thoughts were asleep = vulnerable but I feel more at ease now with the comments.

OP posts:

Original poster

R2G · 26/02/2019 10:02

Just to address some of the comments. I am a lone parent too and don’t have a father in the picture so it wasn’t a lack of empathy.

OP posts:

Original poster

R2G · 26/02/2019 10:04

@ingesw you are laying it on a bit thick. Her ex has the children three nights a week and every other weekend. He also does the school run twice a week. She has plenty of time to get her hair done etc. It wasn’t about that.

OP posts:

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