Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask how often do you “get away”? And with or without DC?

89 replies

Helpsortshit · 25/02/2019 21:44

So today I booked a 5 day city break abroad in April (just me and DH without DC)! We also a have a night away early March...just the two of us to a restaurant we having been dying to go to (in another city so we’re staying over)? We will go on a staycation this year (camping/B&b style) for 10ish days with DC. I also have a spa weekend booked in June (with girlfriends) and a weekend away including concert with other girlfriends in July? Normal or not normal?? I literally had to sort something for each booking today so my mind is taken over with “weekends away” etc so thought I’d ask?
Aibu to have so much booked in February?
How often do you “get away”?

OP posts:
Elllicam · 26/02/2019 12:07

We have 4 nights in centre parcs over Easter, 3 nights in Blackpool for the May break, a week in Aviemore in the summer and a couple of hotels nights away. All but one of the hotel nights away will be with kids but we have very young kids. We will still take our baby away for the night away though.

Doghorsechicken · 26/02/2019 12:10

We holiday quite a lot throughout the year just because that what we like to spend our money on. We always take DS with us on holiday but we have regular (about once per month) overnight stays without DS.

Walnutwhipster · 26/02/2019 12:14

DH and I have several short breaks a year without DC and we have one or two weeks away in this country with the DC. We don't go abroad because insurance for me is outrageous due to my health. DC both have trips abroad this year with school.

Catinthetwat · 26/02/2019 12:37

I haven't had so much as an evening out with dh for 5 years!

Is it your family providing childcare? If so you are very fortunate. You sound a bit smug to me, but I'm probably just jealous (I definitely am).

Stickerrocks · 26/02/2019 12:48

DD has always assumed we can't have fun without her, which was why she went everywhere with us. However, going away without your DC is only feasible if you have someone you can leave them with. We managed one overnight stay, one theatre visit and one day trip to London alone in about 12 years. After that we signed her up for every school residential possible!

We do tend to have 3-4 week long holidays each year, but we don't necessarily all go together, topped up with overnight breaks.

Eyeneedhelp · 26/02/2019 12:49

Op, I also have to ask if it’s your family providing childcare for your childfree trips? You are very lucky if so.
I often think in real life and here there is a divide between those with family support and those with none. I have loads of family, all in good health , living not far. Not one of them has minded my kids for even 10 mins 🤷‍♀️ and I am 7 years a parent. Really , I’ve had to bring my kids to dental appointments etc....
When you asked the question along the lines of “ do some people not need a break away from their kids”, we’d absolutely love one! It hits a nerve as in real life I people say things like “it’s healthy to get a break, couldn’t be with my kids all the time, so important to go away as a couple”, these are always people with family support. If you don’t have any it can be really hard and frustrating. We have a lovely babysitter who will mind our three and we do manage to go on hikes, swimming , a meal together but at 10 quid an hour (slightly over the average but want to keep our babysitter!), it would be a very expensive weekend. Also tbh I just wouldn’t leave a 17 year old on charge all weekend.
Great for you to get a break but of course other parents would love a break , some of us just don’t have the chance ya know?

ZanyMobster · 26/02/2019 12:52

We have a couple of 2/3 night breaks booked just DH and me. I have 3 trips booked with friends (1 night, 2 nights and 3 nights). DH has had a 5 night break with friends also. We have had a week with the kids already, a week in the summer plus 4 nights later in the year. Kids have also had a week away with school plus another shorter residential in the summer. I think this is fairly normal for us.

I don't think it really matters, as long as you are all happy with it.

ZanyMobster · 26/02/2019 12:53

Childcare is all family and close friends. We do the same for them.

NannyRed · 26/02/2019 12:59

Our children are all grown up, we get away about 6/8 times a year but I’m guessing we are exceptional.

We have a 12 night cruise booked for November.
We’ve had one mini break in Dublin already.
One overnight in Wales and another overnight/weekend in Wales to come later.
A summer sun week to be booked for early summer/late spring, probably Morocco.
An overnight in Birmingham in January.
Easter we are taking the grandchildren to Warwick castle.

I’ve just realised we will probably do more than eight breaks, weekends and ‘proper’ holidays this year. But like I said, we are exceptional.

When I was a single mum, my daughter and I would do one holiday , one mini break and as many overnight away (bf had a cruise boat) as we could.

Money spent on experiences is always worth it.

Eliza9917 · 26/02/2019 13:02

For the last couple of years we've had around 3-4 weekends away in the UK (I try to space them quarterly so it breaks the year up nicely) and 2 weeks abroad.

No kids.

Original poster
Helpsortshit · 26/02/2019 13:05

@Catinthetwat no not smug sorry if it comes across that way. Just interested in how others do it or not. Yes my parents are the childcare for when we are both away (which I am so grateful for. And OH obviously is at home when I am gone on the girly weekends.

OP posts:
Original poster
Helpsortshit · 26/02/2019 13:07

@Eyeneedhelp yes my parents when I go away with DH. Dh obvs when I go away with the girls.

OP posts:
Ginger1982 · 26/02/2019 16:13

I've been away with DH overnight once since DS was born 2 years ago and once on my own with girlfriends. He works away a lot so can be away overnight 3/4 nights a week every week. I wouldn't go abroad without DS. It would be weird to look back on pics of a holiday and hum not be in them. I'm all about family time and holidays now. Happy to have a glass of wine on hols if DS is in bed.

Mammylamb · 26/02/2019 16:20

Since DS was born 3 years ago, we have had 3 family holidays (at Dhs family holiday home) a holiday in France to see DSIL. Both DH and I have had one weekend away each with our own friends. We also had a night at a concert and stayed in a hotel while DS stayed at my brothers. We are planning another concert in August and a couple of visits to the holiday home.

Perhaps when DS is older we will have more expensive holidays, but happy with how things are at the moment. At DSs age, I don’t like spending a lot of time away from him (I did spend 4 weeks in hospital when he was 6 months old; DH brought him to visit every day)

Larrythelamb84 · 26/02/2019 16:34

Lucky you! Mine are 10 and 7 and I've never had one night away from them. I have a babysitter once a month, but I have to be home for 1am at the latest so she can go home. My parents and grandparents have never offered to have them overnight, and I don't expect that to change.

BlackInk · 26/02/2019 16:35

We've never had a child-free holiday and out DC are 7 and 9!

We go camping all together for a week each summer and also go away for a night or two here and there to visit friends and relatives.

DP occasionally has a night away with friends or goes to visit his dad without us. I think I've had one child-free night away since DC were born.

But this is because no one has offered to look after our DC so that we can go on holiday, and also because we can't really afford more than one holiday a year. I don't disapprove, but think I'd feel guilty (and miss the demanding little creatures) if we went on a nice holiday without them.

I think you are very lucky OP that you have the childcare and finances for so many breaks :)

Catinthetwat · 26/02/2019 16:35

Fair enough helpsortshit, but worth realizying many people can't go away.

Often, when posting something like this, people acknowledge that, along the lines of.. 'we know we are very lucky to have childcare etc. Or spare income..'

It's very difficult for a lot of people who aren't in your position and well worth taking that into account.

FooFighter99 · 26/02/2019 16:46

In the 11 years DH and I have been toghether, we've had 2 "holidays". 1 being our honeymoon, where we stayed in my anuties caravan for a week (and DSD went with us) the other being a short caravan holiday (the dirt-cheap ones you collect tokens for) with me, DH, DSD and DD and it was shit!

We don't get date nights or nights off from the DC.... though I'm sure my Dm or MIL would babysit if we asked

Mumphineasandferbmadea · 26/02/2019 16:50

When I was with my ex we would go away with the dc for a week once a year and a few nights away here and there.

Since being on my own I have one weekend a year away with the dc to a caravan park and haven't had an evening on my own in 8months.

Nogoodusername · 26/02/2019 16:56

We go away as a family 2-3 times a year. One ‘big’ holiday of about 2 weeks, and then one or two of a week long. We don’t go away without the DC. Both of us travel for work - i’m away maybe 5 times a year for between 2-4 days, and DH is away maybe 3 months per year. We think this is enough ‘away time’ for the kids to have to put up with so wouldn’t want to be away from them in order to have a holiday by ourselves. They are only young once!

Drogosnextwife · 26/02/2019 16:58

NEVER! And they are 10 and 5, it's ridiculous. Last night out we had was November and before that I was June.

oilLovesChuck · 26/02/2019 17:04

DH and I aim for an evening a week and a (long weekend) a tear. It's great!

Original poster
Helpsortshit · 26/02/2019 17:11

@Catinthetwat I am very well aware that others don’t have the opportunity(for many reason whatever that may be) I’m not oblivious to that fact! If you don’t like the topic of the convo then don’t join in, or join in but there’s no need to be so nasty about it!! 🙄

OP posts:
Witchesandwizards · 26/02/2019 17:11

We never go away without the kids as we don't have any childcare options, but we do go away together regularly. For the last 4 years we have done long haul for 2 weeks at Easter (Mexico this year), every 2 years we go to visit DH's family in NZ, we usually have a UK camping long weekend with friends, a long weekend in the UK with my parents, and something fairly cheap in the summer (Eurocamp in France last year).

RosieBooBoo · 26/02/2019 17:23

We go away a lot too! With DH this year we're going to Dublin for 2 nights, a home festival for 2 nights & one abroad for the weekend, and a few gigs where we're staying overnight as well as 2 seperate weekends away with our own friends. We're very lucky the gps love taking DC and we make sure we get away with them as much as poss too- got Haven at easter, various camping weekends during the summer (DC would live in a tent if we let her & i cant think of anything worse than dragging her around on a city break) and 2 weeks abroad booked so far, can't wait!