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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be upset he didn't get me anything?

67 replies

Kindofnewtothis · 25/02/2019 21:42

I've got a feeling that this is going to sound really selfish, so please don't hesitate to give me a reality check.
DP went on a lads weekend away and just got back today. Had a great time, lots of drinking etc so really knackered now.
Got to bedtime and because he hadn't mentioned anything I asked so where's my present??? And he said oh I didn't get you one because I ran out of money. I don't know whether it's because I'm on my period but this upset me a lot. I always get everybody souvenirs and maybe it is wrong to expect one but the fact that he spent £500 over three days and not £3 could've gone on a little magnet or keyring for me does bother me.
Sounds a bit more pathetic now I've typed it out..

OP posts:
Bluntness100 · 25/02/2019 22:05

make him buy you something nice now he’s home

WTAF, make him? What because she is owed presents? 🤮

cushioncuddle · 25/02/2019 22:10

Looking for souvenirs ruins a holiday. I find it a pressure and unnecessary. I think you're being really daft expecting something.
What you're saying is you feel upset that he's not thinking about you and taking time out of the event to concentrate on you. It sounds a bit precious.

Aridane · 25/02/2019 22:13

Oh dear, you sound like a small child

pictish · 25/02/2019 22:18

Hmm...I don’t buy anyone souvenirs or bring gifts home unless I randomly see something that a specific person would genuinely love. Key rings and magnets do not even make my radar. I’m not a fan of tat...and I’m not saying that to be lofty...just explaining that I look right through those types of shops and stalls as a matter of course.
Also, when I go away (rare) I certainly don’t want to spend any of my precious time off shopping for presents.
That probably seems a bit off to you if you’re someone who expresses love with these tokens. Sorry.

BrendasUmbrella · 25/02/2019 22:19

Is there much point in a key ring or fridge magnet for a place you haven't personally been to? And for short trips souvenir hunting is a waste of time unless you get some enjoyment out of the shopping.

If you're feeling a bit delicate, get online and treat yourself to something you actually want. Look at the snowglobes on Etsy, there are some really nice ones among the tat.

Aroundtheworldandback · 25/02/2019 22:20

My dh always gets me something, however plenty of my friends’ dh’s don’t so I think yes you are overreacting.

IwantedtobeEmmaPeel · 25/02/2019 22:20

I'd be grateful he had'nt brought me me back cheap plastic tat.

hoge · 25/02/2019 22:20

YABU

I go away regularly and never bring things back for DH. I love him dearly.

DorothyZbornak · 25/02/2019 22:24

YABVU. If DH goes away with friends, I certainly didn't expect him to bring me back a 'present'. He wouldn't expect one if I'm away with my friends either.

Toblerone from the airport is about as good as it gets!

TheInvestigator · 25/02/2019 22:27

Are you 5?

pictish · 25/02/2019 22:28

“Also, I would stop bothering to get other people souvenirs. They might say they like them, but in reality they’re bits of tat that most people don’t want cluttering up their homes.‘’

Yep. I can’t speak for anyone else but I know that’s how I feel. I will enthuse and say, “How lovely...thank you!”, but I’ll be thinking about how it will go unused, sit around pointlessly in my house in a drawer or box for a while, before inevitably being chucked out, probably to landfill.
I don’t want it.

Original poster
Kindofnewtothis · 25/02/2019 22:56

Oh god I've been absolutely roasted 😂 DP and I are a bit poor and sad so going abroad is considered a big deal to us which is maybe why I wanted some useless tat. I did ask him to get the snow globe for my mum, I would've even given him the money and I think the fact that he actually went to a gift shop it what annoyed me. Maybe it is just my hormones talking Blush

OP posts:
CarrieBlu · 25/02/2019 23:03

The snow globes you get in most gift shops are cheap and tacky. Go and buy your mum a nice one yourself and tell her it’s from wherever it is your DP has been.

userxx · 25/02/2019 23:16

A fridge magnet wouldn't have cost much.

MrsEricBana · 25/02/2019 23:38

Ah don't feel bad, just forget it! I went away with dd at half term and brought some local food for ds from the airport but honestly was all a bit silly and I felt stressed trying to find him something and I did look in shops in the place (ie not airport) and was all indeed total crap. Didn't see any snow globes!

Yabbers · 25/02/2019 23:41

Even my 9 year old knows not always to expect something from a short trip away.

wiltingflower · 25/02/2019 23:50

I feel like previous posters may have been harsh. Have you ever taken a love languages quiz? (If not I do recommend that both you and your partner do and then compare the answers)

I'm wondering whether with this present or lack of it, it's more about having your partner take some time out to think of you and get something for you and this signifies that they care rather than you wanting a present for the sake of it?

GunpowderGelatine · 26/02/2019 00:03

I think YABU. I'm away for a girls weekend next month and I'll be buggered if I'm getting anyone anything. The thought of traipsing round souvenir shops eating into my trip - nope, not gonna happen. Certainly wouldn't want my MIL telling me what to get my DH. Grown adults don't need trinkets bringing back from places they haven't even been to. Also, there's something in this about being wasteful. It's wise to cut down on unnecessary tat that will one day end up in landfill!

GoFiguire · 26/02/2019 00:03

Maybe he got you a STI?

GunpowderGelatine · 26/02/2019 00:06

Maybe he got you a STI?

ShockShockGrin

Rtmhwales · 26/02/2019 00:06

YABU. It's not your birthday. Not sure why you'd ask where your present was.

WendyCope · 26/02/2019 00:10

Utterly ridiculous, unless you are under 10.

WendyCope · 26/02/2019 00:11

...and WTF would he buy your MOTHER a SNOWGLOBE? Dearly Lord.

Original poster
Kindofnewtothis · 26/02/2019 00:38

I don't think I explained things well, my mum collects snow globes so when she or any of our family go abroad they often fetch her one back. I asked DP to pick one up, if he didn't have time then fair enough but the fact that he was in a gift shop and just decided not to is what got me a bit miffed Sad like the majority are saying though, I may as well leave it because it isn't the end of the world- who knows maybe he did bring back that STI! ConfusedGrin

OP posts:
CarrieBlu · 26/02/2019 06:10

How old are you OP? It sounds to me as though you still can’t see that it was unreasonable to just expect a present in the first place, especially as you expected one for your mum as well. Him being in a gift shop anyway is irrelevant - maybe he didn’t want to waste his time or money on meaningless tat. Why should he? Especially if you’re both short of cash at the moment. If you’re that bothered, go there yourself and get your own souvenirs. It might actually mean something that way anyway.