Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To move on because I'm just bored

10 replies

mypieter · 25/02/2019 21:33

I just feel bored.

I've been dating dp for 2 and a half years. We've had our ups and downs, but things are looking up from near a break up about 6 months ago.
He lives in Bristol, I live in London so we only see each other on weekends/every other weekend. I've only just graduated so I hopefully have quite a few years before I need to settle down. My new job means I'm meeting lots of new people, and living in London I have lots of young people around me.

The problem is, as soon as I have a drink I get really bad wandering eyes. It gets to downloading tinder but I never reply to anyone, just see who's interest in me. I've even got to points of getting messages from other men on social media as I've followed them or what not. Whilst I don't reply, I feel bad for not. The grass always seems greener on the other side.

My dp is attractive, very smart, has a great job, great family and is generally very thoughtful. He'll take me out for dinner, send flowers, take me on a weekend away every few months etc. Even though he is pretty amazing, I still feel like I want something else.

When we talk about our future, I always get a feeling that I can't see myself living with him. Like I'm sure I could, and be happy. Just, I somehow feel that I won't.

Is this normal? Or is my brain trying to tell me something?

OP posts:
MoistMolly · 25/02/2019 21:35

It sounds like you're not ready for a relationship. Best to drop him.

hidinginthenightgarden · 25/02/2019 21:35

Sounds like you aren't ready to settle down. Cut him loose. Right guy wrong time maybe?
Either way it isn't fair on him.

MountPheasant · 25/02/2019 21:37

Not normal OP. I don’t mean to sound cliche but I literally don’t see other men as attractive. I have no interest in anyone besides my OH and he still makes me all giggly like a teenager. We’ve been together 6 years and are about to get married.

I felt the way you feel with my ex. Constantly wanted other men to hit on me and was hungry for male attention. Never took future plans seriously.

He may be a nice guy but he’s not the one for you. Move on. Imagine if the perfect guy for you is right around the corner and you miss him because you’re stuck with this guy you aren’t interested in. Life’s too short!

mypieter · 25/02/2019 21:39

I guess I just feel like I have something left in my system that I want to rid before settling down. I'm not sure, like a crazy carefree period or something.

The reason we had a big downer around 6 months ago is that he kissed another woman when drunk, but I've forgiven him for that.

I just feel dishonest when he talks about future plans when I know in heart of hearts I don't really want it. He's convenient.

OP posts:
Boom45 · 25/02/2019 21:41

Doesn't sound like you're in love with this man, regardless of how much you like him. You might not be ready for any relationship or it could be because he's not the man for you but either way it's probably best for both of you to break it off.

TitsAndTomatoes · 25/02/2019 21:56

This isnt love.
Leave him before your tinder download becomes a tinder date. Dont cheat. Sounds like you're heading that way.

WhenISnappedAndFarted · 25/02/2019 21:57

Be honest with him.

I had friends who were like this, met in their early twenties and it was just too soon for them to settle down. They split up and ended up together 10 years later.

These things happen, it sounds like you aren't ready whether this is the right man or not and that's not fair on either of you.

SuziQ10 · 25/02/2019 22:01

Yes, split up. You aren't committed to the relationship.
Get some flirting out of your system, sew your wild oats...
It'll be time to settle down soon enough so enjoy the moment. But don't lead this man on.

You may stand a chance at remaining friends if you go your separate ways now, before you cheat or he finds out about you being on tinder etc.

settings · 26/02/2019 08:16

Poor guy

CoolJule43 · 26/02/2019 09:57

I don't think he's the one for you so I'd probably end things with him. He's convenient.
Having said that, maybe he kissed someone else when he was drunk because he feels exactly the same way as you do.

New posts on this thread. Refresh page