Argument with DH about having to get up with the kids

[Pooshy]

We have two small kids, 1 and 3. I always get up with them in the morning as I'm an early riser (not a problem)

Twice a week, DH has to get up at 6.30 to take over from me as that's when I leave for work. Recently he's been complaining about this on the evening before, not in a big way, but just clearly not happy about it

I always do any night shift required with the baby who sleeps next door to me. This isn't a problem at all, I cope better with less sleep so this is kind of how we've done it although DH does offer to do it, and will do the night shift if I'm knackered for example

DH shares a bed with our 4 year old (this started during the hot summer as they went to the one bedroom which has aircon whereas 3 years olds room is stifling)

Anyway, we're out for a nice dinner tonight and I mentioned that he shouldn't moan about the early starts as I've just realised it's only two out of seven days he has to do this. I really didn't mean it in a diggy way but he took great offence and said I was saying he wasn't pulling his weight. And kicked off, saying I made him feel like shit etc. All I had said was that he shouldn't really complain that it's only two days a week...

He's shut himself in the bedroom now. Aibu or is he being overly sensitive?!

He knows he's got an easy deal and that you do more. He's just feeling defensive about it and acting like a twat.

Penelope, sorry to hear that. I totally see what you're saying but he is very good with sharing the load with housework, kids etc. Just doesn't like getting up early!!

We used to tow about this. I started getting DH up at weekends around 10am then I'd have a snooze (I often wake around 4-5am so was pooped and catching up from week of ooor sleeping) - both work full time. It gets prickly but we work around it

Actually recently started sleeping better so less of me going back to bed these days but our kids are older so able to get electronics and go back to bed if they wake early

Not over reacting. DP has to get up with our 1yo once a week at the weekend to give me a break and when he moaned yet again kicking about at 6am I told him that once I'm up he needs to pack his bags and get out of my house

6.30am isn't early, unless you're going to drip feed that he works late shifts and doesn't get in until midnight.

OP. As a recovered insomniac, don't just shrug and accept that you have insomnia. There's so much self help to pull through that. I would recommend two resources that have helped me (and continue to do so)

1. Guy Meadows - The Good Sleep Guide Book
2. Sleepio - online program, though I could never do the sleep deprivation start. I think your DH is very oversensitive; though I think it would be nice too for him not to be sleeping with a 4 year old tbh and for you both to be having quality time together ....maybe that's what's lacking here?

Isn't it interesting how the men on here always seem to need a full night's sleep before they go to work, but OP (and other PP on this thread) are still expected to do all the night wakings before going to work?

And then OP's OH is even bitching that she's not there to do the morning childcare because she's at work!

Tinkabell, thank you! I'll get both of those right now x

He doesn't work late btw, and goes to bed about an hour after me

Tescovalue, ha ha I might have to try that

Your job is 2 days per week, is his 5 ? What does he do? Is it very demanding? Who does all the domestics, bills, house repairs? I think we need a little more info OP tbh. If the guy was a school teacher then coming home marking books til late, I might see this story in a different light. I don't think it's fair to judge either side with the limited info given.

@LannieDuck
My husband does all of the mornings with our toddler.

I work three days a week plus a bit at home

He has a new job which hasn't fully started yet so probably does 2 days a week in total at the mo, at a push

Kids are in childcare Monday > weds (plus Sunday nights as they are at the inlaws), so he has the house to himself Monday to Wednesday and just has to do nursery drop off on the two days he has to get up

So not exactly hard! He'll still be asleep now I expect (I'm at work) as the kids are away at the in-laws

06.30 is painfully early to me :D I'm extremely lucky though with kids who don't get up before 7. I consider 7 painfully early too.. but I also don't bitch about taking my turn with the mornings and neither does my DP because we aren't arsehats to each other (often).

Oh right. Totally see your point, it's got a very easy ride OP. Sounds like a bit of man-child tbh. Hope he does apologise, sounds like he's a pretty comfy life and hasn't realised it at all!

I agree he gets the easier ride, but just to suggest an alternative view... perhaps he was just having a bit of a moan about getting up early and he felt you were shutting him down?
I remember when my dc were young and I complained to dh about how tired i was, and he out-complained me about how tired HE was. It didn't need to be a competition, we were both tired, but i just wanted to vent and i was annoyed that i was not allowed to say it without him piping up about his busy schedule.
I'm sure he knows that he doesn't do as many earlies as you, but he's still allowed to not like it when it's his turn.