Am I being AIBU and should I just suck it up?

[eyeslikebutterflies]

Holding a birthday party for 10 x 8 year-olds in my actual house. It'll be full-on, I have a small house, but I can just about manage I reckon. One child's mother also wants me to take her younger child to the party as well, as she has other things she wants to do on that day and no childcare sorted for this little one.

The youngest is in nursery and is very cute but prone to tantrums. I'll be on my own with the kids and I'm just not sure I can manage the little one as well - AIBU to say no? It means the older sibling might not be able to come, apparently, and my kid will be upset, as it's their best friend... am I just being mean, or will it be a mistake? I'm just worried I won't be able to cope if the little one kicks off, or if the biggies kick off.... am I being UR or should I just suck it up? I'm knackered and stressed at the moment, have a lot on with work and domestic stuff, so not sure if that's clouding my judgment.

Agree she is a CF! Really annoys me when people do this at parties. We had a mum at DS' primary school who was also a 2for1 mum and she found her eldest stopped getting asked to parties.

I run beavers and people ask us to take their toddlers as well for the hour - they get very huffy to be told we are not insured for kids younger than beaver age!

‘Am I being AIBU’ 😂 - tickled me.

Ah, don't be so harsh on the other mother. Obviously she must rely on her 8 year old to provide childcare for the toddler whilst she's off elsewhere being busy and important, and your party has potentially ruined that arrangement!

She's a cheeky git. Absolutely no way would I be agreeing to this. And I agree that the line about "older kid also won't be able to come is probably just to persuade you into agreeing as she must know the kids are best friends.

She’s got things planned? So do you! You’re throwing a party!! Where is the father? In the picture or is he playing golf for the day?

OP - Have you told her no?

er no....

She’s got things planned? So do you! You’re throwing a party!!

This!

I have said no, thanks everyone for your advice. I hate being mean, and I typically get stressed to the eyeballs on a Sunday night (thinking about and planning the week ahead, my job is insane at the moment), so really needed a reality check. That said, I do feel a bit mean, as the little one is such a sweetheart and loves my eldest... but it'd just be too much for me to handle on my tod.

No way.

Other things she has to do on that day? Like meet up with her friend for wine I bet. She is being really cheeky to ask that of you. Just say no that doesn’t work for you.

Please let us know her reply? A true CF won't leave it there!

You have made the right decision, I can't believe she had the cheek to ask!

Well done, I hope her mum didn’t try to pressurise you and I hope she reflects now that she was, just perhaps, being a bit of a cf!

The little one may love your child. Your child will not want to look after lo at their birthday party... they will want to let loose with Their friends . Because it’s their party!!! Not your problem!

Regardless of whether you say no to the toddler or not, isn't there anyone else you can rope in to help you? Ten 8-yr-olds can easily get out of hand at a party and it's difficult to supervise that many on your own eg if someone gets sick, hurt, etc.

Dont worry OP. As pp said, she will almost certainly be backtracking rather than lose the few hours of childcare for the older one.

It would have been ridiculous. If they were 7 maybe but 3! No way.

You did the right thing OP, don't let the CF make you feel mean. It would be mean to dump a 3 year old on you when you have all those others to take care of. It will be full on enough as it is. Hope you both have a great time.

parent at our school nicknamed 2 for 1

That's awesome. I may just have to borrow it long term...

Glad you said no. Some people just take the piss altogether. Her childcare issues are not yours to solve. Stop feeling mean. It's not a bloody creche you are running.

I had my DD's 8th birthday party at home last year and there was no way I could have managed a toddler as well as the ten 8 year olds. You have definitely done the right thing.

Say yes, but tell her you’re charging the going rate plus extra for annoyance, plus extra for the insurance, and some more for the hassle.

@eyeslikebutterflies - how did the party go?