Having been victimised by somebody else is not something to be embarrassed and ashamed sbout. He should be ashamed, but not you.
My personal view is that viewing the word "victim" as some highly derogatory slur will get in the way of you healing. Much better to be able to acknowledge that yes, you are a victim, but that doesn't say anything about you - it's a statement of objective fact about the abuse that took place.
The only reason our culture treats the word "victim" as toxic is because it deflects the blame away from perpetrators. If we focus on piling hate onto anybody who acknowledges they have been victimised - instead of turning our anger towards the perpetrator - then the perpetrator is protected from the consequences of their actions and the rest of society doesn't have to deal with the structural reasons abuse is so common and hidden away. People also feel safer when they believe the victim brought violence on herself instead of having to face the reality that it could happen to them and they might not see it coming either.
You're not being weak, or shameful, or lazy, or attention seeking, or any of the toxic labels attached to people who have been victimised and are open sbout it. Turning the word "victim" into a shameful slur is just another form of victim blaming. Please don't do that to yourself.
From my own experience, I would say I felt like I was continuing to keep his secrets and protect him by making up cover stories even after leaving. To those who needed to know, I presented it as a matter of fact statement - I had no choice but to leave because of domestic violence. I was just sharing information.
Some people don't need to know. I didn't go into work and announce it to everyone, I didn't go round telling any new person I met, but I did tell people who knew me and people who needed to know (like HR at work, my doctor's surgery, etc). Now, I share it if it's relevant, and I'm not ashamed to have been abused so if I talk about it I don't talk about it like it's something people should react to. But that's the same approach I take to sharing information about my health - it's a piece of information to share with some people, but not every single person.
If you had been mugged, would you keep it a secret or would you tell those closely involved in your life and who needed to know (but probably still not bother sharing it with wider acquaintances)?
There's a difference between making sure people have the relevant information to support and understand you (so you don't have to deal with idiotic comments about "are you sure? We all have rough patches, give him another chance"), as well as protecting themselves if he becomes manipulative with them - compared to making it the core fact about you that you share with everyone, and spending all your time pouring out all the distressing details to every single person you come into contact with.
The former is healthy and protective, the latter pretty unhealthy. And actually, most of the people in the outer circle of your life who you don't really need to tell probably won't ask anyway.
You are more than a victim of domestic violence, but objectively you are a victim and there's nothing wrong with acknowledging that.
The only change in my relationships was that suddenly people understood what was going on. Some people were upset they had been fooled by him and hadn't realised what he was doing. Some people didn't understand why I was not immediately "over it" the second I left. In a few cases it showed me which people weren't good for me to be around, and on a wider front which people really did have my back. The hardest reactions for me were those people who got upset that they hadn't known and therefore hadn't been able to do anything to help me.
For the most part, it just meant those close to me had a better understanding of what I was going through and why some things are still difficult for me. It also meant when he started contacting them to try and get to me, they knew what was happening and didn't get sucked in or put me at risk.
I would have continued to feel isolated and ashamed if I'd tried to keep lying to everyone after I left. I think telling people takes away his power and helps you start to feel connected to other people again, which is something abuse takes away.
Some people won't get it, because domestic violence is still very poorly understand by many people, but that's on them not you. Regardless, his abuse is not your burden to carry and not your shameful secret to hide. It's not a reflection of your character, it's a reflection of his.
Being able to accept what happened without feeling engulfed by shame is one small step towards your healing.