to not want to drive anymore....

[Misslea19]

Okay so I passed my test 3 months ago, my lessons went great without any major problems and I was over the moon when I passed. The main reason for me wanting to learn to drive was to be able to take my children on days out, I don’t need a car for work as it’s within walking distance so Monday to Friday I don’t drive, saturdays I sometimes drive but only locally and sundays just to get shopping. So I really don’t drive that much. Here comes my problem........ I keep stalling not every time and probably not as bad as I think, I overthink, ALOT! But yesterday I stalled pretty bad...... I was in a que of traffic waiting to turn right at a crossroads with a yellow box junction. The vehicle in front entered the box and I went to follow but stalled the front part of my car was on the box I quickly started again but then literally stalled straightaway the lights turned red then and the vehicle behind me was right behind me. I literally felt like everyone was looking at me probably thinking what an idiot. When my lights turned green again I was able to move off and got home fine. I’ve spent the night thinking it over, feeling like the worst person in the world. I feel so embarrassed and like a complete failure and like I shouldn’t even be driving and that I’ve let my children down. I’m not sure why I’ve posted this, I just needed to get it all out.....

People stall all the time op, even experienced drivers. I've been driving for 20 years but got a new car a few months ago and stalled it leaving Sainsbury's this morning

I think driving a bit more frequently might help you get some more practice in and will help your confidence. Even if you just do a quick 10 mins around the block after work.

I agree with PP - get an automatic car I’d never go back to a Manuel. So much easier.

Don’t let this knock your confidence it’s happened to everyone trust me!

Meh.

Next month will be the 50th anniversary of passing my driving test.

I've driven right hand gearchange, crash boxes, centre throttle cars. Ridden right foot and left foot change bikes.

I'm a bloke I can drive anything!

When I hop into one of my boys little cars I still stall them or light up the rear tyres until my muscle memory remembers where the clutch biting point is.

BUT - when I mess it up I just mutter a short sharp Anglo-Saxon word, pop it into neutral, restart and drive off. The ignorant little oaf behind sounding his horn can just go boil his head. I can assure you my boys do the same

When you stall you get all flustered, take ages to restart, stall twice more and generally get in a tizz.

Chose your favourite expletive and stick to. Use liberally when (not if) you stall and calmly restart and drive off.

Get LOTS more practice. Come back after 25'000 miles if you still stall the car you drive everyday. Otherwise you don't have a problem.

My wife has a driving pattern like yours and struggles to set off in our automatic without spinning the wheels and/or triggering the traction control the first few times she sets off. It takes her nearly a full day to re-learn!

Don't fret, just drive.

And enjoy!

More practice, or if you really don't want to pease just get an automatic. I have driven an automatic for 9 years now. Not really out of choice the first car, it was just the best deal at the time. Since then we have stayed with an automatic as it is just sonics easier. I could drive a manual still no problem, I just wouldn't choose to anymore.

I’ve spent the night thinking it over, feeling like the worst person in the world. I feel so embarrassed and like a complete failure and like I shouldn’t even be driving and that I’ve let my children down

That is a massive overreaction to stalling a car. Please try and put it into perspective. It was only a few seconds out of your whole day.

Practise, practise and practise driving some more.

Look OP, when I passed my test, I managed to demolish our front wall two weeks later That was 35 years ago, and I've driven hundreds of thousands of miles since then.
Take your time, don't worry - you'll be fine when you've got a few more miles under your wheels

Thank you all for your comments, I truly appreciate it!

I am going to have a relaxing day with my children today then try again tomorrow when I only have 1 child with me. I do have some time (a few days) through the week were I have an hour before my children finish school so I will use this time too.

I learnt in a 2015 Ford Focus 1.5 diesel and I have a 2008 Ford Fiesta 1.25 petrol.

I currently have P plates on my car and don’t plan on taking them off any time soon, I do find people are generally more patient when they see I have P plates. I think it was just where I stalled, having to wait and a woman passing gave me a funny look so I just assumed everyone around me was doing the same plus other cars who hadn’t seen what had happened were probably wondering what they hell I was doing.

I am going to look at my seat positioning as someone had to move my car when fixing it the other day, I did adjust it but maybe got it wrong? And I always wear trainers when driving for comfort and because I always did on my lessons.

Thinking back I think I was just too fast bringing the clutch up and didn’t press the accelerator enough as I was probably more concentrated on getting through and fearing stalling.......

Thank you all again so so much!

It takes a while to build up driving confidence and efficiency, when you pass your test it’s like you have to learn all over again. 3 months is too soon to be beating yourself up for not being perfect yet. Shit, I see loads of drivers out there who haven’t figured out how to use their indicators yet or how to stay inside the lines and they’ve probably been on the road for decades!

Some great suggestions here about P plates, extra lessons and practicing in quiet car parks. Though if clutch control is an ongoing problem and you’re likely to get a ‘block’ about it, do consider an automatic. It’s brilliant not having to think about changing up and down gears, you just drive.

How often do you do a basic service on your car? The stalling issue could be your nerves/lack of experience. It could also be a case of your car being low on oil and water. While your car (almost certainly) has warning lights, don't just rely on them. Get in the habit of checking under the bonnet semi-regularly and if you find yourself stalling regularly do it automatically. It's easy for a new driver to assume a driving problem is you, but it can be your car and if it is, it can be a really simple fix if you catch it quickly.

Congratulations on passing your Driving Test! Don't even think about giving up - 3 months is nothing. Focus on the reason you wanted to learn in the first place (and also what it cost). Like everything else in life - you will improve with practice.
I didn't drive for years (couldn't afford a car). Did a few "refresher" lessons. Initially, was quite apprehensive - interestingly enough a policeman advised me not to use "P" plates, he thought they made new drivers a target?
Previous posters have suggested about not reaching the clutch properly - so, perhaps simply adjusting your seat? At 5'1" my friend calls me a "Window licker"

I passed my test 6 years ago, drove for 6 weeks, let the nerves take over like you and then didn't drive for over 2 years! The only reason I started again was my son was due and my Husband bought me a small automatic (Ford Fushion) which I still use today! I love driving an automatic, I don't think I would remember how to drive a manual again now sadly. Definitly keep practising, it's not worth losing the skill! It would be much easier for me if I could drive both manual and automatic now!

I always think the learning really begins in earnest after you've passed your test. Get plenty of practice on quieter days and build yourself up to busier times. Here in NI everyone has to display an R (for restricted) plate for one year after passing. I think it helps other drivers to be more understanding, although they bloody well should anyway. Don't worry at all - as long as you follow the right procedures when you stall, you'll be fine. I actually stalled twice during my test and I still passed because I didn't panic .... well I was panicking inside😀

Why not get an automatic, I am learning on one at the moment, and it is so much easier, no stalling.

Chose your favourite expletive and stick to. Use liberally when (not if) you stall and calmly restart and drive off.

Unless your children are in the car.

DS1 used to swear as a toddler but only when he was driving his little tykes car 🤔

You have a newer model of my first car and I stalled it a lot at first. Honestly, diesel is so much easier for setting off, but you'll get used to revving up a bit in your petrol car! I used to deliberately rev too much if I was worried about stalling. I know it's not good practice, but it helped with my nerves until I got used to the car.

Don’t give up and make your next car an automatic, there’s no going back.

Everyone stalls. I've been driving since I was 17 and at 33 I still stall the car once a week (sometimes once a day) when my clutch foot is being lazy or my seat has been adjusted. Pull your seat forward an inch. So if it changes your clutch control.

Just remember, you're the driver. If you stall
(anywhere but a set of train tracks) and need to restart - so what. Everyone else can fuck off while you get your car back to moving.

And DO NOT get an automatic (🙄) Just get more confidence with driving.

Why is getting an automatic bad advice? I started driving one unintentionally but ten years later would never drive a manual again. In fact, I find it quite surprising they’re still made.

My advice: get an automatic if you want an automatic, don't get one if you want to work on your clutch control! You do you, OP.

To be fair, though, automatics are pretty great.

I used to absolutely dread stalling when I first passed my test. As you get more comfortable you will a) realise it happens to everyone and b) do it less anyway.

And try to take the emotion out of the situation - if you stall at a junction or stall and then miss a light change, at worst you've delayed people behind you by a couple of minutes. Really not a big deal - and if people are so impatient they can't cope with a couple of minute delay, that's really their issue.

What the hell is wrong with an automatic car! It does just the same thing as a manual car, and from what others have said who have driving manual cars, they prefer automatic and would not go back to manual. If driving an automatic helps op get her confidence and makes life easier, so what! She wants to drive, it does not matter what transmission it is!

I learned on an automatic car over 20 years ago, and failed, it was a faff and much tricker, I am learning now on an automatic car, and it has made driving so much easier, as a result, I feel more confident and panicking less.

Op my dad drives my car and I was in the car recently over a few days he staled the car about 3 times. Tbh I think it’s a mixture of him and the car. He’s been driving for 50 years. Sometimes it happens, you’ll get used to the car and you’ll get used to driving. Make sure you keep driving at the weekends as it’s a useful skil