JaffacakesAreCakesNotBiscuits ·
22/02/2019 23:22
So me and dp have 1 child each with previous partners. My dc lives with us. We have his dc regularly.
We have an 11m old together..
Getting married this year.
Have a fab realtionship etc.
I'm a Sahm. He has 2 jobs, 1 full time employment and one is his own business But these hours can be unsociable..
I do pretty much everything..but that is my choice.. And if I didn't want to I wouldn't and he would without a doubt.( he often moans that I hace it all done when he gets in and I don't leave things for him to do) But I don't think it's fair when he works 2 jobs. I like him to spend time with the dcs as they miss him and he misses them so that time is precious. Then when they're in bed we have our time to chill and catch up..wirhiut having to worry about what's got to be done
I am honestly happy with how we have our routine..he's fab with all the kids and treats us all well.
Now we keep discussing about ttc again.
He's all keen as he loves being a daddy. We could afford it if we cut a few luxuries out. But that's no big deal.
I go from being mega keen. Imagining being pregnant again, what the kids would be like together Etc etc, big family.. My dream
To then thinking omg can I really do it again. I'm late 30s..ttc was a big issue before as had to have some surgery due to complications. Thinking can I keep testing each month to be disappointed..? Can I put myself through those emotions again.?
. Dp was great last time with it all. Kept me positive and was re assuring.
I also think that I was a single mum for so long with my eldest.and resigned myself to the fact that I'd never have more dcs Despite it being the one thing in life I wanted the most. . I never in a million years thought I'd meet someone, fall in love and have another child..let alone thinking about another
I also said to dp that sometimes I'm so exhausted I can barely function. So don't think I could do the sleepless nights again.. But then he just says then let me help and stop doing everything.. Like I say I don't have to do it. I just do.. So in reality that's an easy fix 'issue'
I just don't know. I feel I need to decide as times ticking.