Not to have an abortion

[thepowerofthreedcs]

Unexpectedly pregnant with DC3, partner said he'd support my decision but his preference was an abortion. I couldn't go through with it. Now he's not supporting me at all, telling me I've chosen DC3 over the other children, him etc...

He'll come round. He's just having a sulking. As soon as dc3 is born, he'll fall in love...

It's your choice. What are his reasons though?

What you decide is the right thing

Your partner was there when you made dc3, and should be supporting you

His reasons were that he's happy with the 2 we have, this one wasn't planned. We don't have a spare bedroom...

Your not choosing a third child over your other two what an overreaction

Is he using condoms whilst on a waiting list for the snip? Thought not. Knew what the risk was when he had sex... don't let him use this to emotionally blackmail you. That is unpleasant.

You're choosing to give this baby life. He wants to choose to give the others more wardrobe space?

YANBU.

I was in this situation with my youngest

Realised if it came to it I could live without him, but I'd have to live with myself and my decision

I think for him it wasn't a baby it was a problem and not real. Once we had the scan and he saw heart beat etc it then became real to him (and when a family member lost their baby during the pregnancy he even went as far as to say if anything happened he'd want another child as his mindset had expanded to that extra child)

BTW (we are still together and although he doesn't say anything I suspect the youngest is his favourite - he's certainly a mini DH)

Will having DC3 make life significantly worse for you, your Dh or your existing children? Sounds like he's worried about it but not communicating the right way. If the impact is manageable, tell him how you two can manage it.
I think this should be a joint decision, perhaps you should have more say in it as the impact on you is likely greater than on his. He can't bully you into an abortion. But you can't just assume that he will be happy when baby arrives if you shut down the conversation now.

Thanks for all of the replies

It's good to know that I'm not the only person who thinks I'm NBU!

The problem for me is that he was never excited with the other DCs, didn't connect with them for the first year...and we've already seen this little heart beat, he said it didn't change how he felt about getting rid of it...

So he doesn't connect in pregnancy (even with a planned baby)? but loves them once they are here?

If he was serious about not having another, he would abstain from activities that can result in a baby.

Don't make this choice for anyone but yourself. It is so heartbreaking to go through when you feel like you had no option, I did it for my boyfriend (at the time) and regret it every single day.

He should have had the snip, shouldn't he, if it was so important!?

It’s totally your decision but He'll come round. He's just having a sulking. As soon as dc3 is born, he'll fall in love... is dangerous thinking. He may well not.

Its entirely your choice so don't do anything you'll regret. Him not bonding with a baby during pregnancy is not unheard of so dont over think it necessarily but him telling you it's your choice and then making you feel guilty for that choice is rude and hurtfull.