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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To leave 14, 7 and 2 year old home alone?

68 replies

Gingerninj · 22/02/2019 17:17

I have a course from 5:00 pm to 9:30 next week on tuesday, stuggling to find anyone to look after DC but my oldest has suggested letting her babysit. I've left them to go to the shops before but not for this long. I think it would be different if it was the middle of the day on a saturday but with it being the evening on a school night she'll have to do bedtime. I'm thinking about just cancelling

OP posts:
Canuckduck · 22/02/2019 17:46

I babysat all the time at that age for my siblings and other children including babies and toddlers. If she’s responsible it will be fine. You’re not that far away and likely the worst that will happen is late bedtimes. Pay her and she’ll probably feel so proud.

Heulog · 22/02/2019 17:46

I definitely wouldn't leave the three of them, can you not bring 2yr old with you, pop her in a buggy and rock her to sleep and hope you can attend the course? Step out if need be to pacify her, at worst you miss/fail the course but at least shes safe.

lifetothefull · 22/02/2019 17:47

Another for 'depends on the 14 yo'. Lots of people ask 14yo to babysit. However sibling relationships can be difficult so really depends on what they are normally like together. In principle it's fine as long as you chat through the scenario before hand. Eg What should 14 yo do if 7 yo is misbehaving?

user1471426142 · 22/02/2019 17:52

Depends on the 2 year old I think. Mine would be fine with a mature 14 year old as she generally is really easy to get to bed, doesn’t fuss with food etc and would happily have an hour of tv if an evening. But, I’d be a bit more wary with the 7 year old in the mix because I think the 14 year old would be having to give all her attention to the toddler, even a relatively ‘easy’ one like mine.

If you did it, I’d have low expectations of what needs to be done. Maybe ditch any expectation of bath time for either of the younger ones, no supervision of homework for the 7 year old, prep dinner in advance so your teenager doesn’t have to cook, allow a heavy tv evening and generally try and make it as easy as possible for your older one.

KindergartenKop · 22/02/2019 17:53

I would try to get the 7yo to stay with a friend. The other 2 should be fine if the 14yo is sensible.

LimeKiwi · 22/02/2019 17:54

No way, 2 year old far too young to be left without an adult, and wouldn't be happy leaving a 7 year old for that long either.
Plus a big ask of a 14 year old to be in sole charge of both the 2 and 7 year old.

Disfordarkchocolate · 22/02/2019 17:57

I was babysitting at that age and it was fine. It will be even easier in her own home. I'd make sure food was ready before I left and tell her to have a chilled evening with some snacks and cartoons.

AndItStillSaidFourOfTwo · 22/02/2019 17:59

I have a 13yo (nearly 14), who adores his 3yo sister, and I say no. 2 is that bit younger than 3, there is so much unpredictability still, and it's over 4 hours. Too big a responsibility for too long a time, I think. 15-16 gets more into the territory I'd feel comfortable with.

Marriedwithchildren5 · 22/02/2019 17:59

I babysat at that age. I use to stay till midnight and have a taxi home. I really wouldnt see a problem with it.

PooleySpooley · 22/02/2019 18:02

I definitely wouldn't leave the three of them, can you not bring 2yr old with you, pop her in a buggy and rock her to sleep and hope you can attend the course

WTAF?

bakebakebake · 22/02/2019 18:04

You know your children, if you think they'd be alright then go for it.

At that age, i would babysit my BABY sister which included bedtimes.

I have a 7 year old and i would probably bribe him to be good if i was worried about his behaviour!

amrscot · 22/02/2019 18:14

I baby sat toddlers at 14 and was fine but then again I was quite mature for my age so it depends on if you think she is or not.

mondaysaturday · 22/02/2019 18:20

I definitely wouldn't leave the three of them, can you not bring 2yr old with you, pop her in a buggy and rock her to sleep and hope you can attend the course? Step out if need be to pacify her, at worst you miss/fail the course but at least shes safe.

This is actual insanity. Do not do this.

DianaPrincessOfThemyscira · 22/02/2019 18:22

I wouldn’t have with DSS, he was 14 when my twins were 7. There would have been havoc.

You know you’re own kids though, if you think the toddler will be ok to be put to bed by her sister and the 7 year old won’t be a complete arse then go for it.

Springwalk · 22/02/2019 18:25

I have a mature 14 year old too and I wouldn’t leave a two year old with her for that long, it is a long way too to get back if you need to.
That time of night is fraught with toddlers. And she has the seven year old to look after as well. It’s too much.
In an absolute emergency I might, but for anything else no.

CherryPavlova · 22/02/2019 18:25

I wouldn't leave the three of them. Too many potential complications. Could your seven year old go to a friends for a sleepover?

Nesssie · 22/02/2019 18:26

f you did it, I’d have low expectations of what needs to be done. Maybe ditch any expectation of bath time for either of the younger ones, no supervision of homework for the 7 year old, prep dinner in advance so your teenager doesn’t have to cook, allow a heavy tv evening and generally try and make it as easy as possible for your older one. this

Depending on your child, there is not much difference between a 14 and 15 year old.

Springwalk · 22/02/2019 18:27

amscot the toddler you cared for was probably already fed, bathed and in bed asleep. Very different scenario.

OnlyFoolsnMothers · 22/02/2019 18:28

God no!!!!!!!!!!! 2yr olds are exhausting and unpredictable and no 14yr old, ‘mature’ or not can be left to watch one all day!

WTBE · 22/02/2019 18:34

I did it often, pretty much the same age with my youngest sibling. But as always depends on the child... The sibling that i babysat is approaching 14 and would not leave them in charge of a pet rock!!

Crockof · 22/02/2019 18:40

Yes completely. Agree with no routine, make sure they have snacks and a film big up the 7year old about how they are getting a treat and give your 14year old a tenner. Ideally have a friendly neighbour. It's not illegal

Crockof · 22/02/2019 18:45

@WTBE I also wouldn't trust my youngest sibling but I did it all the time

ineedaholidaynow · 22/02/2019 18:46

It's not illegal, but if anything were to happen it could be treated as neglect if, say you knew the 14 yo would not be responsible.

I agree with another PP, maybe see if you can get 7yo to go on sleepover with a friend, so one less child to look after

bullyingadvice2017 · 22/02/2019 19:03

Depending on the kids and relationship. If you don't think bedtime will present any issues to older dd. I'd leave something you know they all like for tea that is prepared or money for pizza delivery. I'd personally for my 7 year old say he can play on Xbox and eat pizza but he must do as he's told by his sister at bedtime.

Not ideal but I'm sure they will survive. Have you a neighbour /someone she can call on of disaster happens

Original poster
Gingerninj · 22/02/2019 19:54

DS has never been to a sleepover at a friend's so i don't think a school night would be best for his first. Thank you for the suggestions, will probably go through with it

OP posts: