To have my 15 yo occasionally pick up my toddler from Nursery

[Sharpandshineyteeth]

I have recently split with my DP. He has
Left me in the shit regarding work and childcare.

I work an hour away in an unpredictable job that sometimes requires flexible working.

The nursery is down the road, walking distance. WIBU to have my 15yo (16 in April) collect my 3yo on the old occasion I work late.

Nursey provide dinner so I would just get him to bring her home and sit and watch tv or something with her.

I was ill a few months ago and got him to collect her then but they were a bit funny about it.

[dimples76]

At my son's school a lot of secondary school children collect their younger siblings. My neighbour's 14 year old for example collects her 6 year old sister and 9 year old brother.

It sounds really tough - I think the main issue is communicating with nursery about who is collecting each day.

[Yabbers]

If she’s regularly caring for her sibling generally, you may want to think about getting in touch with Young Carers, as they can offer support to children with caring responsibilities.

Oh come on. really? Older siblings regularly caring for younger siblings is what happens in families. My brother picked us up every day when he was 15 and we were at primary school. He took us home and between us we made dinner for when mum got home. That’s not being a young carer, it’s called mucking in and helping out.

[Limensoda]

When I was 15 I used to take my 2 year old nephew on a train to visit my older sister 40 miles away for a weekend stay.
It depends on how mature your 15 year old is and whether the nursery has a policy about picking the children up.
My daughter used to look after neighbours toddlers when she was 14.
There are 15 year olds who have babies of their own.
It's fine if your 15 year old is responsible and you can trust them.

[FamilyOfAliens]

That’s not being a young carer, it’s called mucking in and helping out.

Sometimes it is, and sometimes it isn’t. Where it isn’t, Young Carers are there to help out.

[PoppingBubbles]

Under 18s do sometimes have kids themselves. Are they not allowed to pick up their own kid?

You'd be surprised. I had my DC1 young, at 17yrs. I had to wait until I was 18yrs to take him swimming, as our pool wouldn't allow me to. I tried a few times too, they always refused

OP I think it's fine. DC1 I mentioned ^^ is now late teens, and has two younger siblings. He collects sometimes from school.

[BlueJava]

Tell them about him in advance so he can be an "authorized collector" then they should be fine.

[PinkHeart5914]

I think it’s ok for an odd occasion but remember at 15 your ds is a child also and not free childcare now your dp has gone.

I’m not saying you would but sadly many teens end up used in this way when younger siblings are involved and it’s not fair.

[JellyBaby666]

Given I worked in a nursery aged 16, I would be very surprised if they said no! Especially if it's once a week, due to your job.

[Frazzled2207]

Assuming your 15yo is responsible and trustworthy I think it's the best solution

You will need to explain to the nursery however and agree in advance. Hopefully they will be understanding.

[ATBHun]

I think it’s ok for an odd occasion but remember at 15 your ds is a child also and not free childcare now your dp has gone.
I’m not saying you would but sadly many teens end up used in this way when younger siblings are involved and it’s not fair.

This is exactly why we have a generation of 18 year olds who can’t tie their own shoe laces

[FamilyOfAliens]

This is exactly why we have a generation of 18 year olds who can’t tie their own shoe laces

No hyperbole there, not a bit.

[CripsSandwiches]

I think allowing a 13 year old to collect from nursery is very unusual but an almost 16 year old is quite different. What if a teenage mum has a child there?

[Dowser]

That’s plenty old enough.

[PettyContractor]

I don't think it should be any of the nursery's business who collects a child, as long as they know it's authorised by the parent. If the parent has authorised it, they're responsible for any adverse consequences.

[Thereshegoesagain]

petty the duty of care a nursery has for a child does not start at drop off or end at pick up but is ongoing while the child has a place at nursery.
They will have a safeguarding policy that says child must be picked up by an adult. This is to ensure the safety of the child, this is the duty of care if the nursery.
It is their business.

[MichonnesBBF]

Yeah my school is 16 only, however it can be amended under special circumstances and written permission from parents.

As it was when there was a parent recovering from cancer, other parent had to go back to work full time, their 15 year old picked up 3 year old twice a week for around 4 months.

As he is 16 in April I would have a guess the nursery will be fine with this as long as you give written permission.

[BobbinThreadbare123]

I used to pick one of my siblings up around this age, from playgroup. Also a little later on from primary school. Nobody was concerned; it's not even that long ago. Used to take little sib home, give a cup of tea or milk and help start homework while I started mine. We had to, because most people's lives work like this due to jobs. I never begrudged my mum this task, and it helped me develop a close relationship with my littlest sibling.

[notacooldad]

Our nursery does not let under 18's pick up in any circumstance
These comments are making me a bit bewildered.
I work with teenagers and there are plenty that have had a child at the age of 14 and half and 15 over the years I've worked at my place. In theory they couldn't pick their own children up at these places!😂

I know they would be able to because they are the parent it is just the comments that no one under18 can pick up in any circumstances!

[AhoyDelBoy]

I know they would be able to because they are the parent it is just the comments that no one under18 can pick up in any circumstances!

Yes, any circumstances except if it is the under 18’s child. I can’t understand people getting hung up on this point. Of course the exception has to be in place for parents under the age of 18 years.

I certainly don’t agree with 11 and 13 year olds picking up children. Isn’t there a legal age you can look after minors in the UK? Where I’m from it’s 14. So I don’t imagine anyone under the age of 14 could collect a child that wasn’t their own

[ATBHun]

No there is no specific law at what age a child can supervise a sibling. If something does happen and it can be shown you knowingly put them at risk you’d be prosecuted eg parent going out and leaving kids at home whilst she was at the pub all night.

Siblings walking younger siblings home from school, I don’t think so. Their stepmum is the headteacher of a huge high school, I think she would have mentioned it to me if she thought it was a problem!

[malmi]

olderthanyouthink

Should be 16 years and 9 months :)

[regularbutpanickingabit]

Of course it is fine if you know your kids are responsible and capable of doing this and you have assessed any risks re roads needing crossing, behaviour of the kids etc. Nurseries here would want written permission for any one collecting. Occasionally helping out like this should be a normal way of gaining independence and responsibility.

[YouWinAgain]

My DDs nursery the policy is someone over 21 has to collect the child unless they are the legal parent of the child so that might be why they're being funny.

[Idontmeanto]

Mine are now 5, 15 and 17. For the last two years the older 2 have, occasionally, collected the youngest from school and a professional childminder. They have both been on lists as “authorised.” I teach. If I have a parents evening that is going to make me very late, (once, sometimes twice a term) they will pick up, cook his tea and do bath and bedtime. We muck in.

[tazzle22]

Flipping heck.... a person had to be over 18 or even over 21 to be able to pick a child up from nursery. ?????

What on earth has happened to mean that a person .. young adult ...is not to be trusted with the care of a child at 15 or 16 . At 15 I regularly babysat for several families. At 16 I was working in care profession, at 17 was in nurse training, by 19 was running a ward at night and by 20 1/2 was fully qualified nurse. BUT by one nurseries policy I could not pick up a child from them despite being able to run a ward full of sick patients ???