Why do I feel so bad - AIBU?

[NightTyper]

NC for this. Am posting at 1.38 in the morning because I can't sleep for worrying about this. I am the parent manager of my DCs sports team. I have recently discovered that 3 of the boys on my team have played in a competitive game for another team. This has implications as these boys cannot be registered to more than one team at the same time. The consequences are that our team could be disqualified from our league competitions. I felt I had no choice but to pass the coaches this info - they were extremely upset and intend to ask these players to choose which team they are going to play for and be registered with and stick to it. I have known the parents of these boys for around 8 years and consider them friends although they have been secretive about doing this and have hidden it from me probably because they realise that it isn't allowed. I am pretty sure they will pull out of my team and move to the other team which will cause a lot of bad feeling for which I will feel responsible for. I feel terrible. Was I unreasonable to protect my team's interests and let the coaches know?

No off course not.

They put the whole team at jeopardy, you did what was right.

The other parents are definitely the unreasonable ones. Unreasonable towards their kids, towards the kids teammates (on both teams), towards the coaches and towards you.
You did the right thing

Yanbu.
None of this is your fault, it is the fault of the parents who facilitated this behind your back.

I was the secretary of my son's football club for several years. You did the right thing.

The parents have behaved in an underhanded way and will have to make a decision where their loyalties lie.

Was the other team higher in the leagues than yours or something?

I always think it's a shame when parents jump ship like this for a 'better' team rather than behaving properly towards the team they are with.

Good for you OP. It was deceitful of them to do this. Be prepared to bring on the subs. And good luck. Now try and sleep

Thank goodness you all seem to agree with me. I feel like a snitch. I feel like I'm telling tales. If they find out I told the coaches they'll probably have a go at me in front of everyone. I only found out because it was posted on social media accidently and they quickly took it down. I imagine they think this new team is better than ours, which is no concern of mine, it's upset me to think they could behave this way to their teammates who they have played with for 8 years...

It is upsetting op, and very disloyal. But you definitely did the right thing. They should be feeling bad, not you.

This happens all the time and I am sure you know that. The parents are to blame for pushing their DC to get in a better team. Blame them, you followed the rules, you have your team to think about.

They broke the rules. Willingly. This is in no way your fault.

Thanks for all the support last night - your replies made me feel better about what I'd had to do and helped me get some sleep. I often worry about stuff like this in the middle of the night and wish I could stop myself doing it. I will probably be confronted by the parents this weekend so am not really looking forward to having to face them but I don't want my team disqualified from a competition they've been competing in all season because of their selfishness. Who'd be a volunteer eh!

True op it's a thankless task! If they do confront you I'd just say you had to put the team first particularly with a risk of disqualification.

You definitely did the right thing, my son plays football and it really annoys me when parents do this!
Can you text the three parents and let them know that you know and have had no choice but to be loyal to the team and pass the information on to the coaches. Letting them know that you are disappointed might make them feel as bad as you have felt about doing the right thing?

If they are already registered to your team then it is the team that they are not registered for that has the issue. If they were league games then usually they would lose any points they win for those games if you inform the league. If a local FA competition then they would forfeit that leg if you inform the league. If itnis an entirely different league or merely a tournament then they would actually not be breaching any rules.

(Former youth club chairman here!)

Somethingsmellsnice - it's rugby so slightly different rules, but I've checked it out, if the other club have transferred registration (which they can do without me knowing) we will be disqualified from the entire tournament and if they haven't they can be disqualified. But no matter what - they are idiots! Nothing is secret for long as the rugby community is quite close knit. Feel better about the situation as you all seem to think I did the right thing, it's just a shame I had to...