He's a Disney Dad

[loloremos]

I used to hate the term Disney Dad, but I'm starting to realise what that is.

Separated from ex DP a week or so ago. We have a tiny baby. Half the reason left him was because he hardly helped with DS.

He never picked him out an outfit. He never bought him clothes. Never bathed him. Occasionally changed a nappy. Wouldn't soothe him when he was crying and depended on me to do it. I tried and tried to get him to parent properly but I failed. He's also not very nice to me. I made the extremely hard and gut wrenching decision to leave.

Now, I know he's going to live the rest of his life being a Disney Dad.

I'll do all of the disciplining, arranging of activities, educating, nurturing, and he just gives me £30 a week.

Even when he's has DS the past week and I've been there, he's held him and spent more time glued to the tv. As soon as he cries or gets grisly it's my job to soothe him.

AIBU to (regardless of how much I don't regret my son) be pissed off that I picked someone so lazy to be my son's dad?

I've been a single mum for a week, my whole world has flipped upside down and he is quite happy, getting to play with his son and hand him back when it gets tough.

Anyone else found the same?

I think you have got my ex! In the end (and it took a while I admit) I realised I would be better off being a single parent than being with a total waste of space. It was hard, particularly as I had no family nearby to help - but I did fine. Met an amazing guy, had another and both are now grown up. Be brave, I found it easier on my own than walking on eggshells. Good luck.

AIBU is officially bonkers these days.

I assume ex is coming round to your house to see DC? If you are happy with this for the time being then you need to go out whilst he’s there. Start by ‘popping to the shop’ for some nappies, be out of the door before he suggests you take the baby with you. Also take the fuse out of the tv plug & tell him it’s broken. Or hide the controls. His bad moods are not your problem, just a signal that it’s time for him to leave.

I suspect that he will soon be an absent father. This is not your fault & not your responsibility to fix.

Talk about kicking a woman when she's down...

"A lot of men (and women!) find small babies quite boring and have no idea what to do with them. There isn’t actually much you can do with a four month old."

Isn't part of being a parent doing things that you might find a bit boring? And having to learn new things? Like having to feed them, bath them, dress them, buy things for them, survive on broken sleep, changing a pooey nappy a dozen times a day? Perhaps OP finds some of this boring too, but unfortunately she doesn't seem to have any support from her ex, or the choice to opt out like he seems to be.

"Did you really break up because he didn’t do enough with the baby? Because, if you did - and i’m really not having a go at you - you don’t seem to have given him much of a chance."

OP said half the reason she broke up with him is because he barely did anything with the baby, I'm guessing the other half was due to the fact he's not very nice to her and makes her feel nervous with his moods. He hardly sounds a catch.

I really didn’t mean to be unkind, OP, and if i’ve upset you in any way, I apologise.

Why facilitate this? If you are separated he should come and collect dc, go home or out for a couple of hours. Also check if you should be getting more money fro him or in benefits. If he doesn't come then you know he's not interested in parenting and you decide if you are happy to have him as a visitor. Will he be better with an older child do you think?